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I looked at him with straightened shoulders and held out my hand to him.
"It's a deal. In exchange for swapping bedrooms, you'll get a favor you can cash in whenever you want." Now, I was the one grinning at him.
He took my hand with a surprising softness contrasting his calculating eyes.
"I certainly won't regret this," he whispered, pulling me to him. I quickly escaped his proximity and put enough distance between us to ensure I wouldn't fly around his neck again at any moment.
"I'm going to take a shower. In my new bedroom," I whispered and walked past him to the door he had just come out of.
"I could ask for the favor of showering with you now," I heard him chuckle behind me. I stood rooted to the spot and held my breath. I hadn't even thought about such favors. Crap!
"But I won't," Tanael announced, and I exhaled again, relaxed. "At least not today."
Hopefully, this deal wouldn't cost me my heart. Showering together would definitely not protect it. I had to hurry if I wanted to outwit him on this promise.
Without looking around again, I walked on and entered my new bedroom. I stood frozen in the doorway. Confused, I looked down the corridor at Tanael, who had arrived at his room.
"Should I have mentioned that the rooms are completely identical?" He looked at me challengingly. His smile didn't reach his eyes, however.
Who had two bedrooms that were furnished in the same way?
"Why?" I asked straightforwardly.
"Why what?"
"Why do you have two identical bedrooms?" I wanted to know.
His smile faded, and pain streaked his now serious face.
He peered down at the floor and seemed thinking about what to say to me. Then he laid eyes on me.
"So, I can run away from my dreams," he whispered, and his honest words were carried so softly by the light breeze that enlivened the house that they seemed like an echo. They were the fears and nightmares of a broken man. Of a loving man.
"If you need to run away again, this door is always open," I whispered.
Confusion was written in Tanael's eyes. Nevertheless, he nodded and disappeared into his room.
For a brief moment, I looked after the angel, staring at the empty space he had left behind. I really meant what I said. How many times had I wanted to escape my fate but couldn't? If he had found a way to deal with his, I would be the last person to take that away from him.
I finally entered my new realm. It was as if, by magic, everything was tidy, and there was no trace of its previous inhabitants—except for his scent, which was hidden in everything—the pillows, the bed linen, the curtains, and the spacious bathroom. A large cast-iron bathtub was in the middle of the room, surrounded by marble and murals. Steaming water was already pouring into the bathtub via the waterfall.
Lost in thought, I removed my weapon belt, boots, trousers, and shirt. While enjoying the magnificent view of the garden, I carefully unrolled the scarf I had tied around my chest. I was secretly relieved to have this room to myself. Our previous excursions had all been very nerve-wracking, and here, I could relax a little before we set off on our next adventure.
Naked, I slipped into the pleasantly warm water and closed my eyes.
My thoughts immediately returned to the tunnels under the Temple Mount in Jerusalem. Have we overlooked something? Should we go to Derinkuyu next? We would surely come across excavations by the Knights of John there, too. Indeed, they were following the same trail we were.
Nevertheless, we had overlooked something somewhere: we hadn't made a connection that could take us to our destination. It was frustrating. I also wondered what these monsters, the Keren, were doing in the human world. Who had brought them there? Who was the Brotherhood working with? It had to be someone from the underworld. But who? Hades only wanted peace in the realm of the dead, together with Persephone. Lilith, who had a realm in this world, would certainly not support anyone who hunted her daughter. At least, that's what I hoped.
As far as I knew, that left only Tanael. Was he playing a double game?
No! Stop thinking such nonsense about him, I told myself angrily.
The God of the First Light looked really worried when I was attacked by the creature.
"Everyone has darkness within them, some more than others. But that doesn't make us a bad person. Darkness does not equal evil. It is a counterpart that we need, that everyone has within them. It can be used for good as well as for bad. It is the decision we make that determines whether we are good or bad."
Even now, his words were infinitely comforting. They gave me the feeling I could accept my darkness. How I dealt with it and my decisions would determine who I was. But how dark was it really inside me?
