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“Okay, thanks,” he says. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
He closes the door, leaving me outside. My grizzly snarls as rain pours down my face.
I glance in the window as I head toward the forest.
Michael and Leo are back at the table, cleaning up the spilled wine and putting the trains back on the board. They put my trains in the box and put my cards back in the pile. Tara is watching me. She gives me a sad wave as she watches me go.
I can’t blame my brothers for acting this way. They’ve been living with this all their lives too. Every lightning storm, my bear goes crazy and flees into the forest. They go on with their lives and I return with the sun.
It’s the same thing every time.
There’s nothing they can do about it. Hell, there’s nothing I can do about it.
It’s not like I can drag my seven-hundred-pound grizzly bear into a therapist’s office and have him talk it out.
We just have to go through it. Every single time.
The rainstorms aren’t usually this bad though.
The wind picks up, whipping the trees into a frenzy. Loud cracks and pops fill the air as large branches snap off trunks and crash to the ground.
The sky lights up in a beautiful haunting blue for a split second. I tense up as I wait for it.
The accompanying boom of thunder hits my ears.
And there’s no more holding my bear back.
He bursts out of my body in an untamed rage.
I’m pulled inside as he explodes out, roaring viciously at the world.
Another crash of thunder and he sprints into the forest.
At least, I’m dry now.
I’m watching from inside as he tears through the forest with his heart racing and his mind spinning.
His eyes are bulging. His nostrils are flaring. He stops every few feet and whips his head around with his whole body trembling.
Thunder cracks again. He explodes forward and takes down a small tree when he accidentally sprints into it.
As annoying and frustrating as my grizzly bear is, I do feel bad for him.
It’s hard to feel this level of terror and not feel bad.
Maybe one day, he’ll calm down.
Maybe one day, he’ll lose this sharp edge.
Thunder explodes over the forest once again. He thrusts his head into the air—rain slamming down on his face—and lets out a terrified rage-filled roar.
I sigh as I watch helplessly from inside.
Maybe one day this will all be over.
But not today…
three
