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“You stood up to him,” Lexi says when I explain the showdown at Uncle Leo’s house. “That’s good, Mia.”
Lexi doesn’t know exactly what my dad did, but she’s a good friend. She knows it’s bad. I don’t need her to explain that she understands why I hid it, why I don’t want to talk about it. She hid something, too. Sometimes, it’s what we feel like we have to do.
I nod. It reminds me of what Dante said—ortexted. I put myself out there and asked about the future, but we have already agreed. We have to avoid it. So why does my stomach keep tingling?
“I knew it was bull… uh, fluff,” she says, raising an eyebrow at me. I’ve got a painting of Lexi somewhere, highlighting her heterochromia, her eyes being unique colors, one green and one blue. “It takes some getting used to.”
“But he looks happy,” I say.
Lexi nods, smiling. “I hope so.”
“Youseem happy.”
“That doesn’t even come close. I never could’ve seen myself like this: settled down, happy, and in love. Now, with him, it’s like bungee jumping.”
“Something else I’m not interested in,” I say.
Lexi shrugs. “If you don’t want kids, don’t have them. It’s not for everybody.”
“Exactly,” I say. “I can focus on my art. Maybe do some shows. Travel the world with… or alone.”With my man,I was going to say, because that would’ve perfected the fantasy. “I can do whatever I want.”
“You can,” Lexi says, “but don’t feel like you can’twantcertain things.”
I clasp my hands together in my lap. Lexi laughs softly. “I know that look. How addicted are you, then, to the phone?”
“Is it that obvious?” I say, smiling.
“I’ve been there, believe me.”
“It’s so much easier to talk to him over text,” I say quietly.
“Dante,”Lexi says, shaking her head as if she can’t believe it. “He comes over to see Colt sometimes. He always seems so… I don’t know. Blank? Not cold, not warm.”
“I know,” I mutter. “That’s how heseems.”
UntilI melted him. Until I brought out that possessive heat that sets me alight.
“When you talk about him, you look happy. I believed you all those times you said you didn’t ever want a man.”
“You used to say the same,” I say. She told me about how she’d often say the same to Ruby.
“I don’t think I ever believed myself, not really,” Lexi says. “I think I always hoped, deep down, there would be someone out there for me. I just wouldn’t get out of my own way.”
“I’m not in my way,” I tell her, “because we’re notinanything. We have a connection.” I pause and clear my throat, my emotions feeling raw. “But we’re not talking about the future. We’re just…”
“What? Chasing… P-L-E-A-S-U-R-E?”
I laugh quietly, not wanting to wake David. “I’m not that sort of girl,” I tell her. “I just… I don’t know. I guess we’re both choosing not to think about it.”
“That can’t last forever,” Lexi mutters.
“Not everythinghasto.”
She looks at me, but I have to turn away. She can see I’m just lashing out. I can’t think of forever, but I also can’t think of the opposite… or the end.
“What’s next, then?”
“We have to stay away from each other, but he wants to see me… in secret.”
