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She looks at my face, giving me a soft smile. “You may have come up at dinner the other night.”
“Right,” I say, wondering how that possibility hadn’t crossed my mind. It’s been years, after all. “Kyle?”
“Yeah,” she says. “What happened between you two? He wouldn’t tell me.”
I look down at the floor, shame moving through me. I’ve been working on getting past the shame and moving toward something healthier like guilt. Shame can keep you stuck, while guilt motivates change. This is according to Gloria. It’s hard for me to make the shift.
“It’s not something I’m proud of,” I tell her, not wanting to get into it. “Just know that Kyle’s warnings about me are ... warranted.” I give her a sad smile.
She tilts her head to the side, studying my face, the pom-pom on her hat wiggling as she does. “You’ve never given me any reason to believe it.”
“That’s because it’s something I’m working on.”
“So then, I’m not worried. Besides, I’m a big girl and I can take care of myself.”
“Lucy, I—”
“Graham, we’re friends, right?”
“Yeah, we’re friends.”
“I’m not worried about whatever may be in your past. Okay?”
“Okay,” I say, feeling a mixture of relief and apprehension in my stomach.
“Good,” she says, hooking an arm through mine, the synthetic material of our winter coats making a whooshing sound as they rub together. She pulls me toward the door, and we walk outside into the cold winter night.
Lucy
Tuesday, January 10, 10:23 p.m.
From PlainJane2 to GothamGuardian5:
Scariest thing you’ve ever done. Let’s hear it.
From GothamGuardian5 to PlainJane2:
I told you I swam with sharks. That’s it. That’s the scariest thing I’ve ever done.
From PlainJane2 to GothamGuardian5:
Those were nurse sharks! They aren’t deadly.
From GothamGuardian5 to PlainJane2:
You said yourself it was warranted. They bite when provoked, right? I maintain that was my scariest thing.
From PlainJane2 to GothamGuardian5:
Okay, what’s the second scariest thing?
From GothamGuardian5 to PlainJane2:
I went bungee jumping once. I actually peed myself a little. This was four years ago. I’m a full-grown adult man. What’s yours?
From PlainJane2 to GothamGuardian5:
I haven’t done anything all that scary. Maybe I’ll do something tomorrow. Please hold.
