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I find myself smiling back at her. I wouldn’t say I’m excited about going home with her, but I know she wouldn’t put me in a horrible position. She’s not that kind of person.
Just because I know it’s true doesn’t mean I’m not a little bit nervous.
I know she lives out in the middle of nowhere with forests around her. She’s talked about a lot of different people at home. I never asked too many questions because then she would only tell me that I should go home with her.
Now I kind of wish I had allowed myself to be more curious.
I quip, “Where’s the bridge when you need it?”
Tilly flashes me a grin before she goes back to packing her bag. I’m already packed because I couldn’t sleep last night with nerves. Going to a new place hasn’t always been a positive experience for me in the past and the thought of it gives me anxiety.
The only thing calming me down was knowing that Tilly would be there at my side. I trust her and I know there’s nothing malicious about her inviting me to her home.
As Tilly closes her bag and starts zipping it up, she glances over her shoulder at me. “I should warn you about one thing,” there’s a wariness in her voice and I’m instantly on high alert.
My eyebrows shoot up to my hairline and I’m tempted to run into my room, unpack my bag, and shut myself away. “What do you mean?”
“Well, I’ve told you about some of my family and the other people I grew up with,” she speaks slowly like she doesn’t want to overwhelm me with her words.
I nod slowly, unsure of where she’s going with this. “Yeah, you’ve talked about some people. You mentioned you live out in the forest, but I figured there’s a town close by.”
Tilly winces and looks away from me which has my heart pounding in my chest. “Not exactly.” I stand up quickly, ready to pull the plug on this whole plan. “No,” she holds up her hands to placate me, “hear me out. It’s just that it’s more than my family living in the area in the woods. There are quite a few families and we all pool our resources.”
My eyebrows scrunch together as I process her words. “Like a commune?”
Tilly shrugs one shoulder. “Kind of.”
My mouth turns down in a small frown as I try and reconcile this new information with who my best friend is. “That’s way more hippy-dippy than I would have pegged you for.”
Tilly giggles and shakes her head at me as her eyes glow slightly. “It’s not quite like that, but everyone who lives there does believe in the importance of taking care of the forest around us. Everyone is close and we lean on each other when needed.”
“That sounds kind of nice,” I muse.
And who am I to judge how others choose to live?
It’s not like I had the most normal upbringing. For me, the idea of having a larger support system is a dream I’m pretty sure I’ll never have realized, even now as an adult.
If it could happen, I wouldn’t turn my nose up at it or think it’s strange. To have people who care, really care, about me is something I can’t ever remember having.
At least until I met Tilly.
Which means that I’ll be following through with going home with her. I gave her my word and now my curiosity has gotten the best of me.
If this whole commune-that’s not a commune thing created Tilly, who is an amazing person, then it can’t be all that bad. Hell, maybe I could even learn something. You never know.
Tilly tilts her head to the side as she studies me, “You aren’t freaked out?”
“Who am I to judge how some other people choose to live? If it works for you all, then that’s great. You’re always eager to go home and you’re awesome,” I point out, “so maybe you all are on to something.”
Tilly hooks her arm around my neck and lets out a noise of pure delight. “You’re the one who is awesome, El. Don’t you forget it,” there’s a warning in her voice that hits me in the middle of my chest.
I’ve been starved for affection and praise for so damn long. Getting even a little bit from Tilly feels like sitting with my head upturned to the sun and soaking up the warmth of it all.
I tease her, “Are you finally packed?”
“Yes,” she releases me with a shout and moves quickly to finish up grabbing her bag. When she turns back to me, she has a huge smile on her face and the worry she was carrying around with her all morning, has evaporated. “Let’s get a move on. The drive is scenic and beautiful, but it’s a little long.”
I find myself chuckling at how excited she is. I’m still a little wary, but I’ll do my best to be a good guest and keep an open mind. It’s probably not a cult. Right?
