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She plops down on my lap and snuggles against my chest as her fingers trail up and down my arm. The only thing that stops me from pushing her off my lap is the knowledge that she’s my pack member. That doesn’t mean I like the closeness.
When my door swings open again, my Beta and best friend, Mayer, strolls into the room before freezing in place when he notices Trina perched on my lap like she belongs there. She doesn’t and I’m becoming more annoyed by the second. My wolf is not helping at all in this situation and his frustration and anger is fueling my own.
Mayer smirks and speaks to me over the link, “Am I interrupting something?”
“No,” I growl back at him. My voice is menacing, “I want her out of here.”
The look of surprise on Mayer’s face with my response would be comical if I weren’t teetering on the edge of my own sanity right now. I understand his shock. I haven’t pushed a woman away from me in years and I’ve always been more than happy to soak up their attention and use their bodies for our mutual pleasure.
I don’t know what has changed in the last few weeks, but something has. It’s only gotten worse with each passing day. Every time I even think about calling one of the many she-wolves I’ve had an arrangement with, my wolf would growl and howl in my mind. The warning was clear, and the momentary pleasure didn’t seem worth pissing off the other half of me.
“Trina,” Mayer’s voice is flat, “I need to speak to Alpha Crew about some pack business.”
She waves her hand toward a chair on the other side of my desk. “Go right ahead,” she addresses my Beta with an air of authority that she sure as fuck hasn’t earned.
The growl that comes from me and my wolf shakes the windows in my office. “You aren’t part of my ranked wolves, Trina, and aren’t privy to pack business.”
Trina turns toward me on my lap and pouts while batting her eyes. I have no doubt that she thinks she’s being sexy, but I swear my balls retreat up into my body as they shrivel into grapes. Clearly, she doesn’t notice because she tries to grind down on my cock to get some sort of reaction from me.
Not going to happen, apparently.
“I’m going to rip her throat out if she continues to disrespect us,” my wolf growls.
“But Crew, you and I both know that you’ll be making me the Luna soon,” there’s a whine to her voice that grates on my very last fucking nerve. “Why put off me knowing pack business?”
I glance at Mayer who is staring at Trina with his mouth gaping open. I start to slowly shake my head, wanting to clear her words from my brain and to give Trina a hint that she’s fucked up. My wolf is snarling in my head, and I barely keep him under control. His desire to shift and rip her throat out is almost overpowering.
“Trina,” my lip curls as my teeth shift slightly and I battle my wolf back enough so my words can be understood, “I won’t be making you Luna of my pack.”
Tears well up in her eyes, but I know they’re fake. Everything about Trina was fake. She’s not the only she-wolf in the pack who thinks too highly of herself after being in my bed, but she is the boldest. The way she struts around and tries to exert power over other pack members is an annoyance that I’ve allowed to go on for far too long.
“Fine,” she pouts and stands up from my lap. She looks over her shoulder at me as she moves back toward my office door as if she’s waiting for me to stop her. She’ll be waiting a long fucking time if that’s the case. She stomps her foot slightly as she huffs, “I’ll just leave then.”
“Good,” I growl and don’t even look at her as she flounces out of the room.
As I scrub a hand down my face, I can feel Mayer’s gaze focused on me. With a few deep breaths, my wolf starts to calm, but the way Trina’s perfume clings to me makes my stomach roil. Everything about her grates on me. How the hell did I even tolerate her enough to have her in my bed?
When I drop my hands and look at my best friend, there’s a frown on his face and disappointment coloring his features. “You know you’ve brought that behavior on yourself, right?”
“I know,” I sigh. “I never promised her or any other she-wolf I’ve been with anything. I sure as hell never promised that she’d become my Luna,” I try and defend myself, but it sounds hollow even to myself.
“You know how power hungry she-wolves are,” he says it like I’m the idiot.
The worst part is that he has a point. I could have stayed away from the females and then there would be nobody thinking they have some hold on me or being Luna. I’m the only one to blame for this shit.
Well, and maybe my mate holds a little blame. Whoever the hell she is and wherever the fuck she is.
But I know the majority of the blame is on me.
Alpha Tristan, one of my best friends and the Alpha of the Blood Rising Pack, waited eight years for his Luna. The only difference was that he knew who she was when he was 18. She was just too young, and he was biding his time until she came of age.
So, not entirely the same situation.
I think if I knew she was out there, somewhere, I could have waited like he did. Maybe. Probably.
Now I’ve been in charge of the pack for years without a Luna and I’ve been doing just fine. Sure, it would take some of the burden off of me if I had my mate at my side, but I’ve accepted my life the way it is. I wish everyone else would accept it as well.
Just days ago my mom and dad, the former Alpha and Luna, knocked on my office and when I told them they could come in, the looks on their faces I knew I wasn’t going to like the conversation they wanted to have. Once they settled into chairs on the other side of my desk instead of the loveseat they normally sat on when visiting me in my office, they shared a knowing and weighted look. My hackles were instantly up, and it wasn’t just me either, my wolf was on edge and practically foaming at the mouth in my mind.
