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What’s wrong with me? I can do this shit in my sleep. Why do I feel like I’m suffocating in this enormous room? Why do I feel like I’m close to losing it?
“Lily, you’re going to crack a tooth.” Josephine assuages my pending meltdown. She hands me a flute of champagne while Thad excuses himself. “Ready to admit this is some ridiculous, hair-brained idea you and Thad have cooked up?”
I toss the fizzy, golden liquid back, then snatch hers, swallowing it in one go. When I meet her eyes, I have my well-practiced smile back in place. “I love Thad, Josephine.” It’s not a lie, and that makes the ache in my tummy feel a little better.
“Yeah, but you’re not in love with him.” The ache returns, and my smile drops. “Lily, this is not setting a few frogs free or even chasing off some crazy one-night stand.”
She’s right. It’s not. I’m not sure what’s worse. Saying fake vows in front of two hundred witnesses or doing it for real. Either way, it’s a massive lie. Much bigger than pretending to be his girlfriend. Or even his fiancé. This is meant for the world to see.
The world.
Fuck, my tummy hurts.
“Is Angel coming?”
Her red-painted lips fold between her teeth as her caramel hair brushes her shoulder. Her pretty aqua eyes show nothing but sympathy. “I’m sorry, Lil. He said he wasn’t watching you throw your life away.”
I rub my forehead with my fingers, then drag them to do the same to my temple. My eyes feel like fire as I fight back tears. Relief is what I should feel because this is a sham. The last thing I should want is for my family to witness it.
My parents couldn’t rearrange their schedules. Josephine is the only family I have here.
But the intense feeling of loneliness and abandonment settles in my chest, anyway.
“Why do you look sick?” I turn and meet Casey’s dark blue eyes and choke back a sob. Having her here is definitely worse because she reminds me of Liam. And because she believes this farce. “Are you getting cold feet?”
“No.” I wave her off, hoping I’m convincing. “Too much champagne.”
The tinkling of silver on crystal cuts through the room. Thad stands at the microphone in his three-piece suit with a tight smile. He welcomes the guests, followed by a few other pleasantries, then dives into the real reason we’re here. To scam them all.
Extending a hand in my direction, I take my cue and walk toward the front of the room.
My stomach flips as I stand next to him, wearing my most demure smile. I am the picture-perfect blushing bride-to-be while I focus on not puking on his Ferragamos as he announces to a room full of people I don’t give a single shit about that this is a pop-up engagement party and wedding. The lies slip from his lips with the ease of a used-car salesman as he tells the crowd how much we want to share our special day with our nearest and dearest. This asshole doesn’t care about these people any more than I do. They’re his father’s East Coast clients and employees, but sure… nearest and dearest.
Thad’s father, David, a sweet but extremely uptight man, stands to the left of us, his chest puffed with pride and a wide smile showing off his chubby cheeks. Janice Reynolds, Thad’s mother, dabs a cloth at the corner of her eyes to catch the moisture falling from her flawlessly lined eyes.
Oh, God. I feel the upchuck rising.
“But before my beautiful bride-to-be goes for her wardrobe change, and I know this is a bit out of order, I would like a dance.”
My face retains its mask, but my brain is screaming. This charade has me minutes from combusting.
This whole thing… What it was and what it has become are so far removed from each other. This lie has gotten too big, and I feel like it’s swallowing me whole. How am I supposed to declare my eternal love for him?
“What are you doing?” I hiss through my forced smile as he escorts me to the dancefloor.
He ignores me, takes me by the waist, and leads me across the dancefloor as the quartet plays some Ed Sheeran song that makes me want to gag on the cliché. As we sway and twirl to the music, others join us. My face feels like it’s going to crack.
I exhale when the song ends. “Thank God,” I mutter, staring at Thad. “Let me go change so we can get this over with.”
But he’s not looking at me. His gaze is fixed behind me. Every ounce of color leaves my face, feeling him before I even turn. I breathe in deeply and spin on my feet, facing six and a half feet wrapped in black denim and a black button down, sleeves rolled up to his elbows, showing off those very large, veiny, inked forearms. His long hair is loose as always, brushing his shoulders in messy waves and curls and those blue eyes…
Oh, fuck.
Before I can take a step, he’s on me, wrapping an arm around my waist and pulling me to his chest.
No. No, no, no. Not now, you asshole.
His mouth crashes to mine, and my brain screams even as my lips part, and I melt into him. Our tongues tangle, and I forget to breathe.
