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My girl is fearless with everything. Everything but her heart, and I feel like a fucking bastard for not seeing it sooner.
She needed more reassurance from me, and it never came because I was too busy fighting my own fears. Hindsight sucks ass. Because what the fuck young woman wouldn’t need the man she’s involved with to prove he’s not being careless with her heart?
I am so tangled in the memories—tangled in her—a full hour passes before I’m heading for the door. Reaching into the bowl on the console table by the door, I grab the keys to my bike and my wallet. I swing the door open and nearly fall on my ass, trying to stop my forward momentum.
My eyes get wide at the sight. Especially when I’m the one who put her in the car. Dropping to my haunches, I brush the hair from her face and admire her peaceful, sleeping form. Her lashes flutter, and her lids open.
“What am I going to do with you, Tiger Lily?” A tear slips from her eye as my whispered words caress her face.
She doesn’t even try to sit up as another drop falls. “Hold me. Love me.” She sniffles, taking a shuddering breath. “I’ll crawl. Grovel. Anything. J-just don’t tell me to go.”
My fingers wrap around her arms, pulling her up. She’s quick to throw herself into me, wrapping her arms and legs around my neck and waist, almost toppling us both. “Please, please don’t make me leave.”
I stand with her in my arms, kick the door shut, and walk to the sofa. After I sit, I pull her away from my body and grip both sides of her face. In the three years I’ve known her, I’ve never seen her cry this much. And my resolve shatters. I can’t handle another tear. “Look at me, baby.” She opens her near-obsidian eyes, red from crying. She must’ve told the driver to bring her back. It’s also highly likely that she jumped out and ran back at the first stop. But I know, even without her still streaked face, insane hair, and the same slinky dress, she never made it home. “Do you remember what I told you would happen if you ever came back here?” Her head bobs in my hands. “Do you really believe I can make you leave twice? I could barely do it the first time.” My thumbs swipe the moisture under her eyes. “Though we might revisit the whole crawling and begging thing.” Her head falls against my chest, and her shoulders shake. Sniffles and hiccups escape her as I stroke her back. My attempt to lighten the mood didn’t work, I guess. “We have a lot to talk about, but don’t doubt I want you here, baby. God, I want you here every second. And I love you so much. I’m not sure how I survived nearly thirty-three years without you, but I needed you to be sure.” When she cries harder, I stroke her hair and hum. She knows the words without me singing them. But I think this time, she understands what I’m saying.
Seconds turn to minutes, and the minutes soon lapse into an hour with us not moving. She clings to me for dear life, and I hum the same song over and over.
Eventually, her body relaxes. Her breathing slows, and I know she’s asleep. Exhausted from the tidal wave of emotions, we’ve both been slammed with in a matter of hours. Worn and weary from months of fighting.
With my arms around her, I push to my feet and carry her to the bedroom. She’s so tired she doesn’t stir as I strip the dress from her body, replacing it with the hoodie I remove from my own. The heavy down comforter she made me buy last winter is pulled over her shoulders, and I kiss her forehead, then her lips, before turning to leave. A tiny hand wraps around my ring and middle fingers as I start to walk away. Hazy with sleep, her dark eyes peer up at me. “Don’t go.”
I pull my hand out of hers and return to the bedside. My lips meet hers once more for another soft but lingering kiss. “I’ll be back,” I promise just as a ball of fur leaps onto the bed. “Doesn’t look like you’ll be alone.”
She and the cat are out before I reach the door. My intentions are to turn off the lights and lock the door before crawling next to her and holding her all night, but a ping from my phone tells me to go downstairs. At least my jacket is still in here.
I grab it and the helmet from the floor by the door, set the helmet on the table, and swing my jacket on as I exit. Two minutes later, I’m downstairs. “You could’ve come up. I know your California ass hates the cold.”
A plume of smoke circles around us as he pushes away from the building wall, extending the joint to me. “Figured you could use this after… Well, after everything.”
Without hesitation, I accept and bring it to my lips, taking a long drag, inhaling deeply, then once more before passing it back to him. A ragged cough expels with my exhale. He chuckles, then brings it back to his lips. “She up there?”
“Yep.” I nod, then jerk my head toward a bench a few feet away. “I tried to send her home, but she came back.”
“Did you really think she’d listen? That kid has never listened. The more she was told something, the more she’d dig her heel to do the opposite. She always made me seem like the reasonable one.”
We sit. He shivers like a little bitch as he puffs on the blunt. We pass it back and forth a few more times in silence before he snuffs it out and places the trash in his pocket.
“I think I was more worried she wouldn’t come back,” I confess.
“Nah. She loves the fuck out of you. I saw it. Even last year, when she pulled that little stunt with Erikson. There was no missing the way you two looked, ready to kill each other. You don’t look at someone like that unless you love them.”
That’s some insane logic, and I can’t help but say, “Does that mean you love Blaze?”
A slew of curses fly from his mouth, and I chuckle. There is no love lost between any of us and Blaze Erikson, but Angel has a long history of homicidal urges when it comes to him. His sister didn’t know when she made him her unknowing target in an attempt to make me jealous that she was endangering his life. At the very least, his face.
“You know, I wouldn’t have blamed you if you didn’t take her back, right? Especially after tonight.” My brows dip, wondering what he means. He laughs. “You are a chatty mother fucker when you’re drunk.”
I roll my eyes because he’s not the first to tell me that. “I realized tonight I’m not the only one who’s been afraid of this thing with us.” He gives me a curious look and waves his hand for me to elaborate. So I do.
His hands rake through his hair as he sighs. “I guess I thought she was too little for our parents’ shit to affect her.” He tells me how their mom cheated on their dad several times over the years. “I think… I don’t think my mom ever got over her first love. No clue who it was, but Mom and Dad gave me a few… vague details, I guess, a while after they split. So she was never really happy with Dad.”
Well, fuck. My damn comment about Krista eating at her mind all this time makes more sense now.
“My dad… he questioned Lily’s paternity a few times and discreetly had a DNA test done.”
My brows hit my hairline. “Do you think she knows?”
“Ten minutes ago, I would’ve said no, but now, after hearing your thoughts, I… I can’t say for sure. It would explain a lot. Especially those stupid contacts.” I close one eye and tilt my head, trying to figure out what one has to do with the other. “Mom, Dad, and I all have light eyes. The dark is from Mom’s side. Or her mom rather, but I think maybe Lily has been trying to look like she…”
