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Of course Torin is dangerous, I wanted to scream. You’re a fool if you think otherwise.
“The way he looks at you,” Drew continued, his voice sounding strained. “His interest in you. It’s not natural. You need to try to look objectively at him, Laoise.”
I turned away.
“Maybe his parole officer is right,” Drew said, his hand gentle on my arm. “Maybe you shouldn’t see him anymore. Maybe he is dangerous.”
I shook his hand off. “I’m not afraid of my brother,” I said. I didn’t respond to the part about him being dangerous.
Because I knew he was.
“I’m a trained therapist,” Drew said, when I didn’t agree with him. “I think I know a little better than you do, Laoise. I am afraid I might have to call Torin’s parole officer and tell him about the violence perpetrated on Jerald.”
I felt a stab of fear going through me, startling me with its fierce, visceral quality.
No.
“Torin killed Dad to protect me,” I said, my heart hammering in my chest. “My father was very abusive, especially when he was drunk. But Torin had gotten big enough that Dad had started hitting me only when he was gone. But one day Torin had to stay late after school, and Dad hit me so hard in the ear that I lost hearing. My brother killed him that same week.”
I was surprised to feel tears gathering in the corners of my eyes. It wasn’t for my asshole father. I had never cried for him, and I was happy he was dead. It was remembering Torin’s face when he had seen the bruise on my cheek and realized I couldn’t hear out of that ear.
Drew was still, quiet for a second, and when he spoke his voice was subdued.
“I didn’t know that. I’m sorry.”
He touched my arm softly again, rubbing me comfortingly.
But inside me there was a cold, feral urgency uncoiling and spreading through my body.
Torin was not going back to jail. I’d do anything to prevent that.
Drew hesitated for a second, torn by what he had learned, then said, “But I still think he’s dangerous. He should have gone to the police if you were being abused, not taken matters into his own hands.”
I stared at my fiancé. The gap widened between us. Drew had grown up in the suburbs: comfortable, happy, cared-for, with a father who had coached his softball team and a mother who had hand-sewn Halloween costumes. How could I explain that out in the country where I grew up the police had no interest in interfering with what a father chose to do to his children? There wasn’t any police officer to stand between me and danger. There had only been Torin, for as long as I could remember.
“And where’s your ring?” Drew asked in some surprise.
“At the cleaner’s,” I said, the lie slipping off my tongue as my heart pounded.
Chapter Seven
The next day, my brother walked down my long suburban driveway and opened the front door as I was cleaning up after dinner. Drew and his brother Russ had gone to the grocery store for some beers to watch the football game with. I tried to keep my eyes down on what I was doing, not look at how Torin walked inside—confident, proprietary, assured of his reception.
It would have served him right if I had made a run for it, I thought angrily.
The kitchen was comfortable, but when he came in it was like the room shrunk to a postage stamp size.
“How did your Reintegrating Into Society meetings go?” I asked, turning around to chop the rest of the carrots I hadn’t used. Trying to act normal. Like my brother hadn’t had his fingers in my cunt yesterday. Like my cunt didn’t still feel heavy and achy.
“I don’t think I’m a good candidate for rehabilitation,” Torin said, something lighter in his voice, and I heard him lean against the kitchen island behind me.
“Why?” I asked, not daring to look at him.
“Because I’ve already killed once to protect my sister, and I’d do it again. As many times as I needed to.”
“Oh,” I said, putting down the knife since my hands were trembling. “What do you want to do now that you’re out?” I continued, my voice high and squeaky.
“Our grandfather left me that cabin of his in his will,” Torin said, unmoved by the sudden change in topic. “Probably because he was a vicious bastard and he was tickled that I killed Dad. I want us to go back there.”
