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“Thank you,” I mumbled when he sat on the other side of the couch with his own haul of grub.
“You just flew over ten hours to help me rescue the man I love from prison, Costas. You’re the one who deserves my gratitude. Have as many of those cake shakes for the duration of our visit.”
“I can’t risk the weight gain of my sweet tooth while on the job, but the sentiment is appreciated, sir.” Smiling to myself, I let my lips wrap around the fat straw before a visible smile could showcase too proudly on my face. Simple kindnesses weren’t known to me, but he never stopped giving them when I least expected it.
ten
Millie
One week later...
Draven made me feel overwhelmingly hot when I shouldn’t be fazed by his dominating existence. Though, having a man’s attention like the way he gave me when I read caused my mind to reel. Fantasies invaded, and I often found myself dreaming of his power over me in the bedroom. That only led to guilt because I felt like I had been cheating on Tim. Even though he didn’t try to satisfy me in our love making, I didn’t want to let my mind place me in the arms of another man.
The thoughts plagued me and made me restless for a few weeks now, ever since laying eyes on the prince of darkness. My nights were long, leaving my untouched core aching. For the first time in a year, I came while Tim rushed to get his load out in between games. My delusions had me throbbing, but I couldn’t tell him the truth, not when he looked at me with such satisfaction. He thought he created my blissful end, but he hadn’t. The man sitting in the front row of my reading group did it with my imagination of him.
To be fair, reading dark romance didn’t help. It aided my falsities to wonder if he’d touch his women like the men in my books. Would he bind my hands above my head, torturing me in his well-crafted foreplay? Maybe he’d be a sweet yet all-consuming lover.
“Millie?” Fran waved her hand in my face. Blinking out of my reverie, I remembered I sat in a room full of women similar to me, but I now hid a secret. Six females who devoted themselves to the reading cause did too. We had just finished a tale that spun a stalker into being the perfect hero even though we knew he’d also been the antihero. He left gifts for this woman that had to do with dismembered body parts of other men.
“Oh, sorry. It’s been a busy few weeks, and my mind just went blank for a minute,” I chuckled to hide that it had been Helena’s boring tangent that took me away. She always had something she didn’t like in the book, and we had to hear about it for thirty minutes. She was also the reason we were having book club at three in the afternoon instead of our later time.
“Aren’t you doing that reader group at the prison now too?” Ava leaned forward from her chair to profile my response. As a therapist, I knew she wanted in my head more than anyone in this room because I had trauma and an upbringing linked to a prison. She wanted to see how seeing criminals affected my psych.
“I am, and it’s going quite brilliantly,” I boldly declared with a smile. “Some of the men like that I’m doing different quotes from books verses reading the whole thing, but I did do a Dr. Seuss read last week to remind them that the basic words can inspire change.”
“Inspire change?” Helena snorted. She sipped on her fourth glass of wine, flipping her blonde highlights over her shoulder. As a stay-at-home mother, I could see the hardships in her job when she joined us. Her son had a recital tonight, so we bumped up the club time because she needed to leave early. We’d just finished the book we were reading, so no one wanted to cancel. “Honey, those men will never change their spots.”
Something soured in the pit of my stomach, and it didn’t come from the absence of food within it. “Never change? Look at the books we’re reading.”
Lifting it, I waved it around for Helena to see. She batted her hand and shook her head. “Sweetie, you’re not that delusional to believe real men could ever be like the ones in fiction, are you?”
“I believe anyone can change when the desire is in their heart, but I know some need a guided hand to see it sometimes. In the books we read, it’s often a desire driven by love,” I argued.
“We all love the idea of a dark and mysterious man sweeping us off our feet, but we settle for the real ones that don’t put our pleasures first. The men we read about are an escape for real women because the real thing sucks. Vile men in our world don’t change, Millie, and pretending they do will get you hurt.”
Fran patted my knee, being the oldest in our group. “I’d have to agree with Helena on this one. I’ve never seen good come from women who fall in love with a guy from the wrong side of the tracks, in reality. Be safe and keep your guard up around them.”
“I think this is a great moment to bring up our next read!” Courtney lifted a book with a haunting cover. Biting the inside of my cheek, the ladies disappointed me tonight. “This one is dark, and reverse harem, so she’s getting more dick too. The difference, they’re not antiheroes who get the girl. They’re the ones who save her.”
Everyone added in their collective sounds of encouragement, eyeing me with it. I’d have to go to the bookstore tonight. Tethered Apart sounded intriguing enough, but I still didn’t agree with the women around me. They could live in their cynicism and believe no one could change, but my father wouldn’t devote his life’s work to a lost cause. A cause I grew up in because he wanted people to get better, and I did too.
Saying my goodbyes, I ran to the bookstore that opened down the street. A young girl named Astrid opened it about a year ago to follow her own dreams. Just shy of my age, she chased her desires and made them come true. With coffee and books available, her place was cozy with a whimsical spin in the design.
“Hey, Mills!” Astrid called from her place on a sliding ladder above me. She made this building feel like a miniature library from Beauty and the Beast, and we all loved coming in here just to see the alcoves of shelves. Allowing us to use the ladders, we couldn’t briskly swing on them like in the movie, but I felt powerful being on one.
“Hey!” I greeted her while heading her way. Once she saw one of the ladies from book club come in to pick their choice, she often ordered more for the rest of us to pick up. One of the many joys of a small business and having the owner treat us like family. I came in here regularly outside of the club, so she climbed down and waited for me to specify my needs after sorting the new books into their new homes. “I’m here for the club book.”
“I figured as much after Courtney bragged about finding the ultimate pick a week ago. You came right on time because the shipment just arrived this afternoon.” Astrid had this fairy vibe to her. Different colors always highlighted her hair, and her pixie frame made her petite enough to pull it off. Whenever I read a fantasy romance, she always fit the bill for a short female lead that was strikingly beautiful, meek and humble, but I knew she had a fire within. I saw it once when some teens tried to rob this place. She got on them like flies on rice with a baseball bat. Even now, my eyes slid to the bat’s hiding spot near the counter as we walked up to it.
“Was it the same delivery boy you keep pretending you don’t speak English around?” I jested because she liked the man but avoided him when he dropped off boxes.
“Have you seen him?” she shushed me. “He has biceps on his biceps that also have biceps! I don’t think it’s humanly possible to speak when a literal Adonis stands in front of you.”
“I get it,” I laughed with ease. Astrid and I didn’t hang out much outside of my visits to her store, but we spent hours chatting while I roamed for books. She and Kasey got along well too.
“One day, I’ll be bold, but I might have to dye my hair and wax first.”
“Why?”
