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"Wait! I still have thirty more minutes. I paid in advance!" Tim's words had me freezing in my spot.
"Paid?" It felt like someone kicked all the air from my lungs.
"I'll have the club refund you for it. You might be needing a new place to stay." Waving over her shoulder, she walked out of our home, giving me a small ounce of solidarity as she did so. I couldn't imagine how many times this happened for her to be so comfortable with her words and exit. God, I'd hate that.
Turning my anger back to Tim, he knew the words he said would trap him. I could also see the lipstick on his neck and smell the alcohol on his breath. He laughed like this was a good thing. "You won't believe it, babe!"
"Believe what?" My tone stayed icy and sharp.
"I won a gift card from the club! I found it in my email this morning, but it was only good for today. How crazy is that?" he laughed like he deserved the opportunity to let other women hump his leg behind my back.
"Wow, and how much did you spend after that money ran out?" I crossed my arms under a sarcastic illusion of being happy for him.
"Babe, don't worry. The card didn't decline this time." He waved me off like it was no big deal.
This time.
Those two words grated on my nerves. Tim knew I hated he had hurt us financially by going to the club before and wasting away all my income for him to be rubbed against. Unable to stop the tears, they fell like an avalanche, attacking me when I least expected the dam to break. Leaning into the door frame, I could no longer keep myself standing. The room felt hazy and spun as my mind wrapped around what he said.
"You spent money to have another woman get you off, Tim." Sniffling, I had to catch my breath. "You spent MY money to have another woman get you off."
"Hey! I never touched her with my dick, babe! I only watched her like I watch porn!"
"And how many lap dances did you have?" My voice broke.
"The clothes stayed on!" he argued in vain.
"And when I look at my account, how broke am I going to be?" The knowledge of his choices slapped me upside the head. I had barely gotten paid this week, so I still had another two weeks to make it through. I still had bills to pay and gas to put in my car.
"I don't know, babe. I left it as an open tab, but it'll be fine. We're always fine."
We're always fine...
I began to laugh in a deprecated warning. "We're always fine because of me, you ass hole! We're fine because I work extra shifts and do extra meetings to help us survive! I wear myself out to the bone only for you to spend my money on whores! You think we're fine? You think I'm going to allow this?"
"I've been looking for a new job, babe!"
"Stop calling me babe!" I shrieked. It was so generic and impersonal; I didn't want it after being called Sunshine and Emilia by the other men I had been seeing. Even though I kept it platonic, I knew my feelings for them only enhanced from shit like this. Pinching the bridge of my nose, squeezed a few more tears out in order to speak. "I know that's a lie, Tim. I know your email was empty as of yesterday for anything job related. It was chuck full of porn sites asking you to renew subscriptions, though."
"Why do you have to make me feel bad for having a high sex drive?" he tried to change the subject. "You always guilt me into changing, but I shouldn't have to change myself for you, Millie."
"Change?" I squawked. "Tim, you're the laziest piece of shit I know. I've asked you to improve, to respect me. Your high sex drive should be used on me, not a fucking computer screen! Not a fucking whore from the club down the road! Your addictive lifestyle also shouldn't be funded by me!"
"Addiction? I'm a man, Millie!" Tim stood up with his pants still undone. His boxers sat around his knees, but his sweats fell around his ankles. "I have urges that aren't being met by my girlfriend!"
"And I have a livelihood not being supported by my boyfriend! You want to know how over this I am? I'm canceling all the extras tomorrow. No more internet or TV services will be coming out of my account, and I'm going to the bank tomorrow to change my card for you not to know the new number."
"Are you fucking serious? You're treating me like you're grounding me! I'm not a kid, Millie!"
"And I'm not your mom!" I screamed back. "I can't afford you, Tim! I can't afford what you're doing to my life, so I'm done paying for it. You want those extra things? You want a bed to sleep in? I suggest you slip a thong on and join those women you gawk at down at the club. Maybe you'll earn money while enjoying your high sex drive! Oh hey, and you'll be exercising and learning how to please a woman! You're on the couch because I don't want to sleep next to you!"
"Millie, wait!"
Walking out of the room, I couldn't be there another minute. I needed someone to talk to... someone to make me feel better, but Kasey was working the night shift tonight. Astrid took a quick trip—which I assumed was to escape Tony. It left me with one option because I didn't have Antonio's number. I needed to pay Draven a visit.
twenty-three
Draven
