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“I’ll go for a walk, but I’m not eating salads.” This was the first time he mentioned exercising, and it gave me a bit of hope.
“Can you text me every time you go for a walk? It’ll help with accountability.”
“Sure,” he breathed in annoyance. “Now can I practice?” His hand swept out in front of him to make me acknowledge I kept ruining his mojo. Ducking my head, I tucked some hair behind my ear as though he didn’t make me feel like a kicked puppy.
“Yeah. I think I’ll go visit Kasey for a bit. She needed help building some furniture.” Grabbing my keys, he didn’t even say goodbye or send his love. He just zoned back into his game, pleased I left him alone.
***
Getting to Kasey’s took a few minutes, but the drive helped me have arguments with myself no one else would see. She knew I planned to come over after I sent her a message, but she never stopped being her. Pulling in, she passionately kissed a man goodbye on her doorstep in her robe that showed her bra from being open. He ravaged her eagerly like he wanted to go a second round.
Flashing my lights twice, I gave her my typical warning that I had arrived. She stepped back and closed the silky fabric to finally say her official goodbye. He fixed himself and moved to his sportscar in the parking lot. My best friend was perfect, and she lived her best life staying single while fucking around to find out. I’d be completely lost without her, and she knew it too.
Getting out, I tucked my hands into the pockets of my coat and hustled over the sidewalk to get to her. She lit up a cigarette, taking a long drag before blowing it out to greet me. Not smoking too often, I knew she needed the fix when her day had been stressful. Basically, whenever I came over to bitch about my home life.
“What did dipshit do this time?” So much for a warm welcome.
“Oh, nothing out of the ordinary.”
“What you mean by that is, you’ve been having to mother him every second your home, and you want a break because work is already stressful enough.”
“Maybe?” I didn’t want to seem like a lost cause.
“Look, I love you more than life itself. You’ve been my ride or die since fifth grade, but you need to dump the loser and move on. No more bitching about how he can’t clean while you work all day. No more whining that he wastes your money. You allow it, and he takes advantage. He doesn’t love you, but he loves using you.”
“But I feel bad just kicking him out. Where would he go? Plus, I still love him.”
“Oh, I don’t know. He’d finally have to get a job and figure it out until he duped the next girl into mothering him to freeload.”
Resigning to the idea I’d never get comfort out of her, I looked to the ground. “You’re not supposed to walk away just because it gets too hard.”
“You’re not supposed to be burdened with all the responsibilities either, but he does that to you freely. Without change from him, there’s no future, and you need to come to terms with that.”
“So maybe what I need to do is an ultimatum? Give him a timeline to get his crap together?”
“And if he doesn’t meet the mark?” she asked, hanging the idea out there for me to take control of it.
“Then I kick him out.” Nodding my chin, I found a little more vigor. “I’ll give him a few months. If he doesn’t help around the house and find a job, he’s gone.”
“Good girl.” Slinging her arm around me, she put out her cigarette and guided me into her flat on the bottom floor. The luxury she afforded herself to not climb two staircases. “Now, I ordered pizza, and it’ll be here in fifteen minutes. Don’t even think about paying me back because I was going to order it anyway, and you’re giving me company. You just better get ready for the newest episode of Survivor.”
Yeah, having her on my side made the bad days easier, but she also refused me to live in a reality outside of our own. Having a friend keep it straight while also loving me through it made the difference I needed.
four
Draven
Being brought into the greeting area, I found my chair and saw Antonio across from me on his side of the plexiglass. He fixed his suit, looking more dapper than ever. His hand reached forward to touch the bulletproof glass between us and mine raised to join as I settled the phone against my ear. His eyes scanned over the bruises, knowing this would be my fate in here. “Dray…”
“I’m fine,” I promised. “You should see the other guy.”
“This isn’t funny.” Even though we lived in this cutthroat world our whole lives, our amount of worry never softened because we loved each other. Another secret those in the outside world weren’t privy to. We kept our relationship under wraps because we knew the judgment that would find us for our affair. Both our families bred wealth and ruled in fear. If they ever found out we were more than just business partners, it would be our true undoing.
“Tony, I’m okay. We knew this would happen if I ever landed in prison. My list of enemies is longer than Santa’s nice list.”
“Not one of your enemies made it to that list,” he muttered into the phone on his end. I could see the strain being placed on his shoulders to carry the burden of our work while worrying about me. My heart grieved for the suffering he’d been placed into all because someone videoed the actions I took against my sister’s attacker. Even with my reasoning, there’d be no freeing me with the evidence they gathered. It didn’t help I had been standing over Alexander’s body when they arrived with my prints on the dagger I used to gut him like a fish.
“I’m okay, Tony. I’m more concerned about you not having me on the outside than I am me being in this place filled with little bitches who think they’re punks.” My annoyance with the gangs in here could be read on my face.
