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"Honey, I can see even more behind your stare. Those men have done nothing but prove they want you, and it's okay if you need more time to see if you feel the same way. You can date them while I vacation." Shrugging, she went back to shopping. "But trust me when I say you need some clothes and a swimsuit. I saw what jumbo by the door packed."
Kasey sent me a playful wink to let me know she teased, but it held some merit. A bathing suit had been the last thing on my mind as I rifled through her drawers. Only grabbing undergarments and clothes for three days, I didn't want to take too much from her. Plus, it would've been more to carry in my haste to leave.
The house servants readied her room and equipped it with better hygienic things than her house had. She used a basic bar of soap to clean herself, and she used the cheapest shampoo. According to what the other ladies said when I showed them a picture of the products, they did more damage to hair than benefitted it. Obviously, they knew more than I did because I only used bar soap and a simple cologne. Tony never understood how I didn't buy something more expensive, but he didn't know my mother used to buy the pine scented cologne for me when she could afford it.
A small pang found me as I remembered the woman I hadn't seen in fifteen years. The last time we spoke, I told her that I wouldn't be returning, but I'd love her the rest of my life. She knew who I sought out, so she understood what happened to cause such a shift. It made me miss her more than words could ever express, but I had to check my weakness at the door. No one could ever know she lived or they'd use her against me. Some of my men kept an eye on her and updated me with pictures of her new life.
Surprisingly, she had another baby after settling down with a new partner. I had every hope he'd love her right, and he had so far. Sometimes, she'd receive extra money from me through my secret carrier, and she knew it came from me even though I couldn't deliver it myself. Feeling my emotions bubble up, I cleared my throat and put my attention back on the girls in the room with me.
Millie finally grabbed a few things, but I often saw her putting the more expensive things back. One of them happened to be a beautiful dress. It had a light shimmer woven into the blush-colored pink with a neckline that would play with her cleavage. A bit more modest than the one Kasey grabbed, but it fit her style better. Feeling sad, I didn't like that she put it back.
When they went to the changing room, I hurried to snag the sheer fabric that rested over a slightly darker shade of silk. Taking it to the front, the woman rang me up, and I held the bag in my hand has they finished up. Millie would find this on her bed later because she wouldn't be able to refuse a gift like she could using someone else's card to gain a few more wardrobe pieces. Smiling to myself, I knew she'd secretly love it even if it hurt her to take.
thirty-five
Millie
Dinner time arrived faster than I planned after going shopping with Kasey and Costas. Kasey gave me a quick tour while a few servants took our bags back to our room. When I went to fight them on the issue, they reminded me that they were paid to do it, and there was a silent fear of what might happen if they weren't doing their job. Kasey only added onto that fear by voicing what they hadn't during our walk.
She acted like it didn’t bother her in the slightest, but it ate at me the rest of the day. In all the books I've read and movies I'd seen, people were killed for less in places like these. Swallowing hard, I didn't know if I could allow my mind to spiral, so once Kasey found a new guard to flirt with, I excused myself for a hot shower, getting ready. That's when I found a shopping bag on my bed. Thinking the ladies forgot to put it away, I went to do it myself, but I found something I hadn't been prepared for.
The beautiful dress I loved but put back because it cost more than a used car. I held the delicate fabric of silk and tulle, seeing the small shimmers added into the top layer to sparkle just enough to be noticed. Forgetting to exhale, I didn't realize I'd been holding my breath since picking up the dress.
My mind rushed to figure out how it got here because I knew what Kasey had gotten. We were at the register together the whole time, but my mind quickly traveled to Costas who carried the same size of bag in our exit. Foolishly, I thought he'd gotten something for himself or a girlfriend. Instead, he must've been watching me as I put the dress back after fawning over it.
Tears sprang in my eyes because not many would do such a thing. Kasey's words from earlier kept playing in my mind. I could stay and date Draven and Antonio without it taking skin off my back. I did like them more than I planned when meeting them in the city. Even if it hadn't been organic, I could tell they wanted to spend the time with me. Would it be a crime to stay in a place so beautiful, it nearly hurt stare at?
Heading into the bathroom, my gut swarmed with dread from the unknown, but it also had a flutter inside of it. That was what finally helped me decide during my hot shower. I didn't wash my hair because I wanted to do something with it other than a braid or bun, but my body felt better once I rinsed the last few days off. Knowing I should've showered sooner, I sulked in this room for the full day until Kasey ripped me from my bed to go with her. No one commented on my smell, but I had no doubt I had one.
Once I finished, I still did a bun, but I used one of the many hair tools on my counter to curl some pieces back into it with my bangs angled around my face to hang. Once I did that, I flicked some mascara on but nothing else. As much as I appreciated the products organized on my long counter, I didn't know what most of them were, and the other items I'd never attempted to use.
Heading back into my room, I gently stepped into the dress. Part of me knew it was too gawdy to wear for a simple dinner, but I wanted Costas to witness I appreciated his gesture. He'd see me waltz into the dining area wearing his gift to show I thanked him for it. Not wanting to get him into trouble for it, I didn't know if he would, so silence felt like the better option until I could tell him personally.
Unable to wear a bra, it had support for my chest with thicker fabric for my nipples to hide. It made me feel more comfortable. The sleeves were split at the top of my shoulders and dangled at my sides. It made my silhouette prettier by being less defined. Nodding my head in approval, I went barefoot from forgetting to buy better shoes. Though, I hadn't known this dress would be added to my small collection of nicer things.
Knowing I had to prepare myself for dinner conversation, I understood what I needed to say in order to make my stay feel healthier. First, I picked up my phone and called my dad. He didn't answer from being at work, but I left him a message that I was fine and slept like the dead. He'd understand that being on vacation meant resting. Though, I knew he'd have a dozen other things I'd have to answer.
Leaving the room, I found a guard at the end of the hall. He tipped his chin to me, making me feel like I might be in a prison myself. Though, I also found more posted throughout the house that had me wondering if they were more for protection than babysitting.
Once I made it to the dining hall that Kasey showed me during her tour, I gazed upon all the faces sitting around the elaborate wooden slab between them. Like a king, the table had been crafted by the finest woodworker because the edges had been so meticulously detailed that I knew it had been done by hand. Walking to my seat, I found one by Kasey that put me right across from Draven and Antonio who both sat at the head of the table. Gladly taking it by my friend and on the opposite side as them, I knew she did it on purpose.
A few other seats were around the table. All were taken besides one next to Draven. His eyes kept drifting to it like he could magically make someone appear, and I remembered his sister. With everything she went through, I doubted she liked to show her face around many who might see beyond the cracks. My eyes had slithered into too many over the years from my line of work.
Souring, my appetite shrank even though I had been nearly ravenous earlier. It made me want to go find her, but I knew better. Privacy was something she had encroached by her attacker, so I'd give her that space with me in her home. Taking in the other people, I noticed Costas sitting with what had to be a few other guards on their side of the table.
Tony smiled at me, making sure I saw how he eyed me in the dress. Giving me an appreciative wink, he didn't draw attention to it, but he nudged Draven to spare a glance my way, drawing his attention away from the seat his sister hadn't taken. His expression of doom and gloom shifted the moment he stared at me. Widening, his eyes made me feel like the world melted away around us. It even brought out a flush on my chest because it had been a long time since I experienced it.
Tim never tried to give me such appreciation, so it felt unfamiliar. An awkward sensation swept through me, but I also learned I liked it in the same wave. It felt like butterflies. Like Kasey made me realize earlier, the men here made me feel... wanted? Desired? Part of me tried to remind myself good things like this came with a price. One time, I had a coworker who had an affair with a married man because he paid her more attention. Both forgot about their partners. Which was why I tried not to with Tim.
In hindsight, I could see my wrong in trying to salvage it. Nothing was worse than forcing yourself to stay for the sake of another's emotions. I had from feeling sorry for Tim's circumstances. Backing away from it all, I could see how low I'd let myself fall. No one but me did that. With it only being a few days, I didn't know if it would be fair to jump into something new. In the same sense, why not?
Since parting from Tim, I didn't miss him. I missed the potential I saw in him, but Draven and Antonio were already being the men I needed without trying to fix them. Though, how did one woman date two men? And with that thought, apprehension swept through me. Even with this being unconventional, nothing topped two bisexual males who were dating asking me to join. Would that make us a throuple?
Reaching for my water, I had to get out of my head. Holy Hannah, this would be all new territory. Kasey seemed completely comfortable, but I knew she dealt with men like them all the time at the club. She had grown used to the profanities in this lifestyle. Her mind had been warped from her mother long before she took to the pole for work. Her home life had been a hell no one could ever understand. She was partly the reason I went into social work. Not that I'd ever tell her that.
"Everyone, this is Emilia Carmichael. She will be a guest for the duration of her stay, no matter how short. Pay her the respect of being our honored guest with her friend Kasey." Tony raised a glass for the others to acknowledge his words. They joined in while saying different varieties of hello.
Waving, I felt too awkward to say words. Luckily, food was brought out before I had to. The servants placed food right in front of me that would feed an army. My stomach growled from the smell alone, but I knew I wouldn't be able to eat it all. Kasey elbowed me as I drank it all in. "Wait ‘til you taste this shit. It's even better than the smell."
