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"Usually?" Millie caught the word that needed attention.
"A lot has happened, so my desire has been lacking."
"Trauma has a funny way of removing joy from the things we once sought to silence our pains," Millie agreed. My heart stopped, wondering what her life had done to cause it before remembering loss could do plenty of its own damage.
"Tell me about it." Her Spanish accent was stronger, focusing less on her English pronunciations.
"I know I'm not someone you know well, but sometimes, a stranger's ear can be the best medicine."
A subtle movement told me Sofia shook her head in response. "I'd rather not speak about it. Everyone always asks me or bangs on my door to get me to come out of my room and act normal, but I don't know how. I don't know how to be anything other than this sadness."
"I'm not asking you to be anything but what you are right now, Sofia. It's okay to be sad. It's okay to walk the halls of your home in sadness."
"No," Sofia breathed like she tried not to cry. "Draven can't see me like this. It'll only cause him to worry and do something else that's reckless."
"Draven will understand your pain, Sofia. Even if you can't use words to express it, his plot for revenge came from a place of love."
"But it left me without him!" Sofia yelled. "He chose to go to jail instead of being here for me!"
Now her breakdown left an unsettling feeling among us standing near the door. Tony and I shared a look as Draven let his mourning gaze fall to the floor. Millie cleared her throat, not wanting to provoke Sofia into a large hysteric. "I can't excuse his absence, but I can help you, if you'd like. It would also be a way for you to express yourself without having to tell me."
"How?" Sofia's quivering voice told us she'd been crying.
"You mentioned you play the piano. Why don't you play me a song that resonates how you're feeling? You never have to speak, just play." Millie tapped the bench she resided on.
Holding our breath, we wondered if it could be that easy to get through to her, but Millie had been right about the stranger aspect. It was easier to tell a non-loved one our woes in order to keep the burden off them. It made me wonder if Sofia would play because she knew Millie came here for her brother. Would the idea of her being a future sister-in-law drive them apart for this? Then the magic happened, Sofia sat down beside Millie.
I could barely see through the small slit we had, but the three of us paid close attention to it. Sofia shook out her hands before placing her fingers over the keys. Let me Hurt by Emily Rowed began to play. I only knew the song from hearing it play in her room before I left for America. The song portrayed a woman asking to allow her to suffer, to grieve.
Soon, without realizing it, Sofia began to sing the lyrics. Her voice didn't raise too much, but her emotions bled through her posture and raspy tone. The emotion of the music made my own heart beat in agony, hearing her tortured bits play through her unveiled soul. Sofia's musical talent never ceased to amaze me. Her fingers rushed over the keys, creating a harmony no one would ever understand. She fed her suffering into each note, becoming a true artist.
Holding it together, I tried not to let it consume me as we listened. Draven lost it, seeking Tony to hold him as he fell apart. The hour in the home was late, so no one else would see his heart bleeding on his sleeve for his sister. Trusting Tony and I with his pain, he allowed us to see it. The moment he felt more understanding of his sister's grief. She couldn't stop the hurting, so she was asking for Millie to let her just hurt. She was asking everyone to let her not be happy while she figured out what she needed. On the last note, we heard Sofia begin to cry a little harder, falling into Millie's side beside her.
The power of the lyrics stayed even after she poured her soul out for Millie. In the arms of a stranger, Sofia found her refuge. She found it in the one person who'd been trained to help, and that was the only blimp of happiness I felt for this horrid moment. Tony had to keep Draven upright as her older brother felt the pulse of every aching beat Sofia displayed.
After letting Sofia cry, Millie had to wipe her own eyes, being an empath to those around her. "You know, I haven't been through what you have, but my best friend has. If you ever need someone to know what it felt like to be robbed of something that should've been yours to give, Kasey is here with me."
"Is she the loud woman I keep hearing?" Sofia sniffled.
Millie laughed. "Yes. The woman who is unapologetically herself after all the hardships she was forced to face at your age."
"So she was..." Sofia couldn't say the word. The one thing that would damn our souls into never returning because she didn't deserve it.
"There's power in saying what happened to you, Sofia. There's power in taking it back from that asshole. There's power in saying your truth for every other girl who might need your help down the road. Even if you need to say it quietly, tell me what he did to you. Let the bitterness take over your tongue so you can spit out its vile nature after you do so. Cleanse your soul of it instead of letting it burden you."
"He raped me!" Sofia's outburst and scream had Draven dropping to his knees. My friend's eyes were raw and angry, allowing his ears to fill with the words straight from his sister's mouth as she clung to the one woman he felt he could trust with it. Tony held him in the fall, cradling his lover with affectionate kisses as he held onto him tighter. Not a single one of us had clean eyes. How could we after this moment.
Sofia nuzzled into Millie's side, sobbing about her truth she finally spoke out loud. Even though we had a therapist come once a week, her reports said Sofia refused to speak. Now we knew she'd been talking to the wrong person. Like the rest of us, Millie burrowed herself into her instantly, forming a bond that was unspeakable.
That's when Millie's hand moved to the piano, playing only the top hand of a song. The first few notes made me recall the older song. F*ckin Perfect by P!nk. The song challenged the listener to hear their worth within the lyrics being sang by someone so passionate to create a song to help. Millie kept her voice quiet, singing into Sofia's ear, weeping with every powerful word.
She didn't play the full version, but the shorter one was all she needed to say. Snuggling Sofia more, Millie looked upward like the god most believed in could harken an angel for more comfort. "I learned to play this song when Kasey began wearing baggy clothes to school. She wouldn't speak, and she kept having these outbursts. At first, I didn't understand her anger, not until my dad explained it to me and what she needed. That's when she began staying at my house more and more. I played this for her every day to let her know nothing could change her worth."
"But she seems so strong. I hear her yelling at Draven and Tony all day long like she's the boss." Sofia sat up a little as I watched her back.
"Time, Sofia. It took Kasey a great deal of time to learn to embrace her suffering and turn it into her superpower. Until you feel ready, we can keep doing these music sessions if you want? It'll help you learn to express your emotions, and it'll help remind you why you loved music to begin with. Your bond to it says to use it, to fight your fight with it."
"Thank you, Millie." Sofia didn't move from the woman's side. As for the three of us, we knew our time of listening came to a close. As the guard of the home, I now knew the secret enemy I needed to help ward out. Maybe I could ask Millie for more help on the matter. She might have ways I could protect our home better, so I could help Sofia’s healing.
