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A hand fell on my shoulder, revealing the secondhand man to my father. Getting up, I knew to follow him into the corruption of the families, and it was him who helped me get through it. My father raised a toast in my honor with the other members of the inner circle, but he didn’t introduce me as his son. Instead, I became Mario’s prodigy. Still, I took the drink and raised it to feel a sense of belonging.
I never found it. Not within the families. Once Tony took over his father’s dealings, the secret about my identity never came to light. He had grown up with me in his home, seeing me with the guards and being the force that protected him. Under his power reflected the first moment I felt wanted because he threw his arms around me and held me as tight as he could. He understood my mistreatment and hardness, but he didn’t know I stood as his half-brother.
Holding the glass before me, I only saw the hate I had for the man who created us both. In all honesty, he had been the domino to trigger my spiral into alcoholism. He always drank with me after the bloodbaths I created and handed me the bottle when he left the room. This had been how to keep a man poisoned within an empire, and he knew that.
Throwing the glass now, it shattered against the wall across from me as I bellowed with the force of my throw. After hearing the glass break, I patted for breath. My anger unleashed, collaring my throat to remember the noose my father placed me in. I grew up in this home, but it wasn’t as a loved son. Living in the spare quarters, Mario raised and trained me to be the killing machine he needed.
And now? Nothing remained of the innocence I had before this life.
“I always told Dominic my doubts about you being his, but I guess you’ve just proven me wrong.” Giorgia entered the room with her glass of wine empty. Being Dominic’s wife, she pretended I didn’t exist, or she hoped I’d drop dead. Even now, she walked around the island like she couldn’t be on the same side as me, closest to the wine cooler. Clicking her heels through the shards of glass, she acted like my anger became the biggest problem in this house.
“I’m sorry to disappoint,” I grumbled. Heading to my mess, cleaning it up would be my priority.
“There’s maids for that,” she tsked me from the cooler for her own numbing drinks.
“There’s maids for you, ma’am. I’m sorry for disrespecting this home.”
“Whether I like it or not, you’re a guest here, so they’re meant to clean up after you too.” Ah, her favorite use of words, reminding me of her hate. I opened the utility closet up to begin my chore. As I crouched to gather my mess, she sipped her wine and watched in disdain.
“I’m not their sin, you know.”
“Excuse me?” She acted baffled.
Looking up from the floor, I let her see how tonight ruined me. “I didn’t ask to be created in their affair, and I sure as hell didn’t expect my sperm donor to be a head of the crime families when I sought him out. You act like you do me favors by letting me stay, but you forget the blood on my hands that let me have the rent to afford a room in your home.”
Throwing away the glass after sweeping it up in a dustpan, I set the broom back and left her in her shock of the situation. Maybe it would do her well to remember why she got to sleep peacefully. It’d be the same reason Millie would sleep easier too.
“Darkness never leaves innocence untainted, Mr. Malone.” After she said it, I gave her my attention. Her head nodded to the area I left the others in peace in. “You all might be attracted to the good in her, but you’re just going to ruin her like my husband ruined you. Lights don’t last when only darkness is known. You might not like it, but the only way to save her is to let her go.”
And with that, she took the exit first from the room, leaving me to reel in her words. I knew my ship was set to sink, but would I make hers sink with mine by wanting to keep her? Would I do to Millie what had been done to me without knowing it? I tried to keep her light alive, but mine could never be lit long enough to replenish myself let alone someone else.
fifty-six
Draven
Never leaving her side, I camped out right beside her after moving her to my room. She needed company right now, even if her heart told her isolation would give her more peace. Learning through my mother when her world could no longer keep out the darkness, silent company became enough to have a while longer with her. Those days were gloomy as she died endlessly in her room, but I never left her side when she needed me to stay.
"I'm sorry I'm such a mess," Sunshine sniffled, rubbing her face just a little more against my shirt. Her snot and tears had already streaked it, causing me to feel the warmth of them before turning cold when she moved positions. Her hands fisted into the silk fabric, refusing me to move away even if I wanted to. Tony would've been with us had he not needed to figure out his father's plans by sending him to this party in two days. He planned to handle business and would join us once again when he had more details.
"A loss, no matter how small, or how long you knew them, is a heavy burden. Never apologize for having a heart big enough to care," I murmured into her hairline, kissing her forehead.
"Did it hurt you?" she asked something that felt tricky to answer.
Clenching my jaw, I felt the pang inside my chest that didn't necessarily come from the kitten dying. "I hurt because you are, Sunshine."
"But not for the kitten?"
"No," I answered honestly. She pulled her face back to blink up at me with her big, brown eyes. Moving some hair away from her face, I gently stroked to feel the warmth radiating just below her skin. "My life of cruelty taught me at a young age how natural death can be. Whether it's natural causes or not. If we hold onto each one, we'd unravel before our own lives began."
"How did you survive?" Her eyes pleaded for me to give her a proper reasoning, but I didn't know if I had one.
"Remember how I mentioned my mother teaching me to read because she loved it?" I waited for her to nod. "She also taught me that those stories could be escapes. That if my day had been too hard to remember reality, I needed to go read a false one for a while. It helped my mind begin to compartmentalize the events that would've ruined me. From being beaten to having to be the executioner. I know you'd rather think I've only killed Alexander, but I haven't, Sunshine. There's a lake in the afterlife filled with the blood I've spilled that promises my drowning in my deadly demise."
She let her gaze fall as her eyebrows pulled together. "I think part of me always knew your words are true, but I've never let myself think about it to keep it at a distance."
"It's not an easy thought to gain knowledge of, but I won't ever lie to you." Swallowing hard, I recalled how my father treated my mother. "I'll always try to keep you away from the darkness of my work because my father did the opposite to my mother. He broke her on purpose by forcing her to witness his power. That's why Sofia and I were no longer enough for her to stay for. No escape could undo the corruption he did on purpose."
"Is that why she took her own life?" she whispered, afraid she might upset me by knowing the truth.
