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Bobby gives me a placating look, and I want to scream.
“You still know the rules.”
“Yes.” That’s why Nicole dubbed him CC. I take a deep breath and try to switch topics. “You were going to tell me about Peru.”
That prompts him to talk about his trip. When he details the sermons he delivered, I zone out. I can’t help it. My mind reverts to Dalton, who has no qualms about being alone with me. And it may be apparent that he’s mad at me, but I can tell he still wants me.
And I like that. A lot.
Because the longer I stare at Bobby sitting a foot away from me, the more I can’t help but think about Dalton’s hands on me. That thought morphs to our first kiss. The first time he went down on me. And the way he caressed me after we had sex.
My mind doesn’t think about my boyfriend and theno premarital sexrule he follows to aT. Goodness, he still thinks I’m a virgin. We haven’t even reached first base. He wants us to save ourselves for marriage. I haven’t told him that ship sailed a few summers ago.
Nicole thinks I’m crazy for not demanding more or not dumping him to find someone else, but not having sex hasn’t been challenging. Like at all. Shouldn’t it have been?
It’s been drilled into my head that my body is for my husband. Taking things into your own hands is selfish and takes away from your partner. But how selfish can it be when your partner doesn’t wish to satisfy you? And if being satisfied equals selfishness, then I’m one selfish woman. These past few years, I’ve taken control of my own satisfaction. The problem is it wasn’t Bobby infiltrating my thoughts. It was always the six-foot-two demigod that recently ran out of the house.
“So that pretty much sums it up. I think you’ll love it there. It’s so fulfilling.”
I nod in response, realizing I didn’t listen to a word he said. “Um, yeah, sure.”
“What’s with you?” His eyebrows scrunch together as concern coats his eyes. “Is it that guy? Does he scare you?”
“Scare me?”
“His tattoos are rather intimidating. Plus, the constant scowl doesn’t help. I can stay until your dad comes home if that makes you more comfortable. Your dad will understand.”
“No, Dalton’s harmless.”
“I’m serious. If you’re not comfortable staying here, I can move you in for the summer. My parents don’t use their spare bedroom. I’m sure your dad may be a hard sell, but it’s better than—”
“No! Goodness, no.” My hand squeezes my neck. I finally got to stay home for the summer. I’ll be darned if I’m giving up my privileges.
“Seriously, it wouldn’t be a problem,” he says, ignoring my responses.
“Bobby—”
“Let me call Mom and tell her to get the room ready.” He whips his phone out to dial, but I place my hand on his arm.
“Please stop. Dalton’s fine.”
Bobby looks exasperated. Those light brown eyes I haven’t seen in months stare back at me. Guilt settles in again. But this time, it is from my lack of feeling swoon-worthy. I wish I felt half of the excitement I felt when Dalton opened his door in nothing but those running shorts. It would make things so much easier. But the hard-core truth stares me in the face. No matter how hard I try, I’m not in love with Bobby.
But how can I let him down? I owe Bobby so much.
Maybe I feel conflicted because having Dalton back in my life is rekindling feelings that need to stay in the past. There isn’t a future for me with Dalton, no matter how I wish things could be different. I won’t be the one to destroy Dalton’s dream. He doesn’t have an alternative. Hehasto get drafted. I don’t want him to end up back home in North Carolina with his dad.
Regardless, the breakup with Bobby is inevitable. It’s not fair to him either.
“I don’t trust him. You know the type of guys your dad gets,” Bobby says, pulling me back into the conversation.
“I’m sorry if I’m coming across as ungrateful, but this is the first summer I’ve stayed home in years. Can’t you understand why I wouldn’t want to leave?”
“But if you feel uncomfortable.”
“I never said I was uncomfortable. You just assumed. Look, I need to talk to you about our relationship.”
“You’re right. Please forgive me. I don’t want to spend our reunion fighting.”
