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“It’s been a long time,” I state the obvious.
Lines form between his brows. “Why aren’t you at summer ball?”
Our gazes connect. I hadn’t expected him to be so . . . I don’t know, aware? But here’s my big brother still putting me in my place. I swallow hard.
“I messed up.”To put it lightly. I want to blame Cassie. If she hadn’t asked me to visit her that night or if she hadn’t begged me for sex . . . If, if, if. But the truth is I wanted her. I could’ve refused her if I didn’t want to risk it. Regardless of whether Coach caught us, the fault wasn’t hers. It was mine. She hadn’t forced me into anything. I took what I wanted willingly. No one is to blame but me. These revelations were all things I worked out while on my jog.
“Is it fixable?”
Steve doesn’t ask what I have done. He just jumps to the solution. I’ve missed that about him. Too bad he couldn’t fix his own situation.
“I don’t know. I’m still waiting to hear from the school. Once I talk to my coach, I’ll know more.” I drop my gaze to the table. “I, uh, slept with the coach’s daughter.”
Steve lets out a long exhale and shakes his head. “Of all the available girls, why her?”
“I love her.”
“Then that’s what you lead with.” He sits back in his chair and eyes me. “But what is the reason for coming? I doubt it’s to seek relationship advice.”
I let out a humorless laugh. “No.”
“Then what is it?”
“Was I the reason you stole those items?”
His eyes narrow. “Why would you think that?”
I don’t want to answer him. I don’t want to admit that he’s strong, and I’m still weak, letting Dad get under my skin. Steve saw me run to my room and cry too many times than I like to admit. After Mom left, the tears dried up, at least until I was alone in my room. “I need to apologize.”
“For what?”
“For failing.”
“Dalton, I only want to see you succeed. You know that, but there are other things to do if college isn’t your thing. You’re good in the garage.”
“Yeah, but if I get cut from the team, that means you being here was all for nothing.”
“What do you mean?” He narrows his eyes again. Earlier, I thought he was just trying to goad me, but I don’t miss the confusion written on his face this time.
“Dad said you were stealing to raise money to pay for my college.”
“Is he still on your case?”
“Things haven’t changed.” That’s mostly true. He hasn’t tried to hit me. I overshadow him. I’ve gained muscle while he drank his away.
“Listen. I made my choices. They had nothing to do with you.”
“But—”
“No.” He puts his hand up to stop me. “Being in here is all on me. I was in it for the thrill and the escape. You’re not the only one Dad mindfucked. Stealing had nothing to do with your college. That’s just his excuse to try and justify my wrong.”
“I miss you, Steve.” I hadn’t meant to say it. I didn’t want to say anything that would make him feel worse after our visit. But the words flew out of my mouth before I could stop them because, damn it, I do miss him. His words should be freeing, but they’re not. I still feel like shit.
“I miss you too, bro. More than you know.”
“Why does Dad hate me so much?” The lump in my throat sits there, garbling my speech. Steve’s mouth flattens to a frown as defeat coats his eyes. He looks conflicted. It’s as if he knows but doesn’t want to tell me. I stay still, barely breathing, while anticipating his answer.
“I’ve had a lot of time to think while being locked up, and I have a theory.” Steve pauses as I watch the war brew inside him on whether or not to tell me. He must see the desperation on my face because he closes his eyes momentarily before speaking. “I wonder if he thinks you’re not his.”
