AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“To get to school?”
“No. I’m going to see Cassie.”
“You just found out you’re still on the team. Why the hell would you risk losing your chance?”
“I told you before. I won’t live a life ofwhat ifs.”
Chapter Forty-One
CASSIE
I clutchthe bouquet of white lilies tighter as my gaze roams across the expanse of the cemetery. The morning fog lays thick and heavy, giving an eerier vibe than usual. I sigh deeply. Fighting the urge to retreat to my car, I trek across the drought-conditioned grass. Each crunching sound of my footsteps is a stark reminder that everything, including the flowers in my hand, dies. The visit is long overdue, but I couldn’t make myself come sooner. Being here makes Mom’s death real. Finalized. And that’s what I hate most—the finality of it all.
Pushing forward, I think about my grandma. Of how she’d wake at the crack of dawn, pull her too-long hair into a bun, and truck to Grandpa’s gravesite every day with his favorite donut. She’d place it on the headstone when she left. I always wondered who or what ate the snack because, according to Grandma, it never survived the night. Dalton said visiting loved ones can be therapeutic, but I have a hard time believing him. How can visiting a final resting place be reassuring? It’s too heart-wrenching for that.
So, despite my reservations, I took a page out of my grandma’s handbook, got ready, and drove my little fanny here.
I approach the black granite slab. It’s a slanted stone. Dad passed on the upright one, stating it was too flashy. “We don’t need anything elaborate,” he had said. Then, he quoted 1 Timothy 6:6-7: Godliness with contentment is great gain, for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world. After he finished, I wanted to roll my eyes. I was so sick and tired of him continually beingoninstead of just being. He was always a preacher first butwhat I needed was a dad.
I stare at our namesake etched across the top center. A sprig of roses is engraved above each upper corner. Dad had wanted gaudy angles, but I talked him into the roses. I had argued that the large cross with supersized prayer hands in the center bottom should be the focal point. After all, the cross symbolized their religion—a statement he wanted to be passed on even in death. He agreed. But truthfully, my reasoning was selfish. I couldn’t stomach a headstone littered with religious symbols. Where were the angels when I asked for a miracle? Where was God?
I crouch down beside the stone and replace the dead flowers with fresh ones. A humorless laugh escapes. It’s just another reminder of how all things die. I sit there and absorb the peaceful surroundings. The dawn’s chorus chirps in the distance, bringing a sad smile to my lips. I immediately think of Dalton. If he were a bird, his chirp would be the loudest and strongest, protecting his territory.
“I miss you, Mom.” I look to the heavens, tears stinging my eyes. “I’m so mad at God for taking you away. Why do we pray for healing when it doesn’t work? I feel so lost.” I draw in my legs and wrap my arms around them, adding, “About everything.”
A single tear slides down my cheek. What I wouldn’t do to have this conversation in real-time. To have her with me again.
“I could really use your advice. I messed up. Remember the boy I met that summer when I stayed at Aunt Jan’s? The one I got in trouble over?” I pause as if letting her recollect who I’m talking about. “You had told me I had a different path to follow. That if we were truly part of God’s plan, we’d be together again.”Kismet.“I know that was your gentle way of telling me to get over him, but guess what? He did come back, and we did get back together. Until I ruined everything.”
Dalton hasn’t called. Can’t say that I blame him. I took his dream and smashed it like a cheap flower vase no one cared about. But I never expected to be shut out. Maybe it’s his way of making sure I stay on the right path according to my dad, but Dad doesn’t have all the answers—only God.
The realization hits. Was it God’s will that brought Dalton back into my life? Had he not abandoned me after all? A few days ago, Dad questioned if I had lost my faith. I still see the hurt in his eyes when I told him the truth. Instead of repeating another Bible verse as I expected, he nodded and reached out to pull me into a hug. “Oh, Cassie,” was all he said. I guess that was his way of being a dad for once.
But what if God did send Dalton my way. That would mean I’m not a lost cause. I feel as if it’s my duty to help people. But maybe that person that needs help right now is me. I need to get over my pity party and fight for what I want. It’s way past time.
I push off the ground, eying the headstone. “Thanks, Mom. I know what I need to do now.”
Hope swells in my belly for the first time since forever. I guess Dalton was right. Visiting a loved one who’s passed can be therapeutic.
I head back to my car, my thoughts consumed with Dalton. He makes me a better person. He challenges me. I would have never had the courage to confront Dad. Heck, I’d probably be engaged to the wolf in sheep’s clothing if it wasn’t for Dalton.
I’m so engrossed in everything Dalton I don’t notice the person standing by the car until I’m upon them.
“Bobby?”
Chapter Forty-Two
CASSIE
Bobby standsbeside my car with his arms crossed over his chest. He watches every movement of mine, but there’s a distance to his stare. It’s as if he’s dejected. A pang hits my chest, but I don’t want to feel sorry for him. He brought this on himself. By his actions of late, how would I know if he’s genuine or vying for my sympathy? Nope, I won’t fall for it, nor will I cower to him.
“What are you doing here?” I ask when I approach him.
“Your dad told me where you were.”
“It’s a bit intrusive to show up, don’t you think?”
He frowns. “I waited by the car.”
