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“Real,” I finish for her, a smile playing at the corners of my lips. “I can’t promise you a smooth ride, but I can promise you I’ll fight for us. That I’ll be here for you.”
Her eyes search mine, filled with a mix of fear and hope. “And what about when this charade ends? What happens then?”
I brush my thumb gently along her cheekbone, my touch gentle but sure. I don’t have the answer to that since I don’t know my future. I only know I want to live in the present with her in it. “Let’s stop worrying about the end right now,” I say softly. “Let’s focus on the present. On this connection we have, on making each other happy.”
Amanda’s lips curve into a hesitant smile, her fingers intertwining with mine. “Okay,” she whispers, a faint blush coating her cheeks. “Then take me back to my place where we can have more privacy.”
“Are you sure?” My heart beats drums in my chest, hoping she agrees because I want this more than anything.
She nods. “Never been surer.”
Best three words I’ve ever heard.
CHAPTERTWENTY-ONE
AMANDA
The lock clicks,and the door to my apartment swings open with a faint creak, letting in the night’s hum. I’m hyper-aware of Blake’s presence close behind me, his breath warm against the nape of my neck, causing my skin to tingle with anticipation despite my clammy palms.
He kicks the door closed behind us, his hand still holding mine. Pulling me flush against his body, his free hand travels up my back and caresses my spine before cupping my head and tilting it back just enough to capture my lips in a deep, hungry kiss. I gasp as he pins me against the door. Our moans fill the small space as he teases my bottom lip with his tongue until I open for him.
“Fuck, you don’t know how long I’ve been wanting to do this,” he says between kisses. His hands roam freely over my body, tracing the curves beneath my shirt and exploring the outline of my hips and ass. He palms my sex over my jeans and squeezes gently. I nod at his eyebrow arched in question, my breaths coming out in quick pants.
“Amanda,” he murmurs against my skin, his breath hot against my collarbone. “I want you. I want your cunt spread over my face while sitting on top of me so I can devour that pretty pink pussy of yours.”
Oh, God. That mouth.But as dirty as it is, I like it, as evident from how my body responds. No sooner than the visualization appears, so do the negative thoughts.
I bite my lip and hesitate, Juliette and her friends’ words weighing me down. Like sharp blades, those stupid voices cut through the moment, taunting and teasing. “Good luck holding her up.” And the other insult, “Death by thighs.” It’s all just a cruel joke for them.
“Hey, you okay?” Blake asks, his voice rough with concern.
I nod, forcing a smile. “Yeah, I just … I don’t know if I want that.” That’s a lie. I very much want it. I want it so much I’m dripping with need. But I can’t do what he wants.
He pulls back, the intensity in his gaze making my knees weak. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” I’m quick to respond, hoping he won’t press.
“If you changed your mind, we?—”
“No, it’s not that. It’s…” Damn it. I close my eyes, unable to reel in my emotions. My breath stutters. How can I tell him I want this too—his attention, his touch, everything about him, and not mention my insecurities?
I look back at him, and something shifts in his eyes, his expression. He cups my face with one hand and traces a thumb over my cheekbone. “Tell me what’s going on in that pretty head of yours.”
“I…”Don’t want to hurt you. Don’t want to smother you. Don’t want you to see my body.I say none of that while my emotions war with my physical needs.
“Princess, I can’t read your mind. Speak to me.”
“I don’t want to hurt you.” The words rush out before I can reel them in.
“Hurt me? How the fuck can you hurt?—”
“I’m larger than what you’re used to.”
A flash of anger darkens his eyes. “Let’s get this straight right now. You could never hurt me. What asinine jerk gave you that idea?”
I nervously run my tongue over my lips but remain tightlipped.
“You didn’t come up with that on your own. Who said something to you?”
