Page 29 of Cardinal Whispers


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“No,” I shake my head. “There was only one other time …” I trail off, a lump rising in my throat. Taking a deep breath, I continue “Someone from our past. They hurt us, but Bastian took it the hardest.”

“I’m sorry,” Sienna says, voice soft. “Being hurt like that sucks.”

“He probably sees some of her in you, when he looks at you. He's always been sensitive, feels things deeply. It makes it toughfor him to let people in, so sometimes he pushes them away before they get too close.'"

“Then why does he want to be involved with me at all?” Sienna questions, a note of frustration in her voice. “Why does he want to keep me here under lock and key if he’s so hell-bent on never getting close to another person.”

“That’s something you’d have to ask him,” I tell her as I dab more ointment on the bruises on her wrists. “He probably just wants to keep you safe.”

“I can take care of myself,” Sienna says, giving me a measured look. “I grew up in a place just like this. I might seem naive and innocent, but I’m not. It’s because of what happened to me that I try so hard to be kind and upbeat. I guess I just don’t understand Bastian. One minute he’s treating me like I’m nothing, the next he’s … like this.”

“I know. But he’s … complicated,” I tell her. “Turn around. I want to look at your ass.”

She stands up, wincing again as her feet make contact with the ground. Her ass is red, marked up from the flogger and his hands. It’s slowly turning to purple bruises and I start to gently rub ointment into the irritated skin.

“Complicated? He's downright confusing,” Sienna says, snorting. “One minute, he's rough with me, and then he's apologizing like he's two different people."

I shake my head. “That's just how he is. He doesn't know how to handle … well, any of this."

“But why keep me here if he's just going to hurt me?”

“I don’t think he sees it like that,” I tell her. “Bastian is an ass but he's trying to protect you, in his own messed-up way."

“Protect me?” Sienna scoffs. “By locking me up like some kind of prisoner?”

“You’re not a prisoner,” I say. She makes a noise. “I promise. You’re free to leave but there are dangers out there that youdon’t know about. Stuff that could get you seriously hurt around here. And Bastian’s been through so much, he’s just afraid of losing control.”

She rolls her eyes. “What about you and Dominic? Are you just following his lead?”

I hesitate, trying to find the words. “We have our reasons, Sienna. It's complicated."

“Complicated. Right. That seems to be the word of the day. I just wish I knew how to figure you guys out.”

I don’t have an answer for her, so I stay silent.

“You didn’t have to help me, you know,” Sienna breaks the silence. “I could have cleaned myself up.”

“It’s my job to look after you,” I say. “The Blades protect what’s ours.”

“What if that’s not what I want?” Sienna asks. “What if I want to take care of myself?”

I chuckle. “Now you’re just being stubborn, dumbass. You don’t always need to look after yourself.”

“No one ever looked after me before,” Sienna snaps. “And things were fine until you came along.”

“Then let us help you anyway. You don’t always have to be so strong.”

“I’m not that strong,” she mumbles.

“You’re stronger than you look,” I say. “Did you at least enjoy any of it?”

“Some of it, yeah,” Sienna admits. “It was kind of hot when he was ordering me around. I’ve never done anything like that before. It felt good to give up control like that.”

“We can try similar, but less intense stuff another time,” I offer. “Take it slow and do a lot of checking in. We can figure out what you like.”

“Maybe,” Sienna turns her head and gives me a tight-lipped smile.

“Not anytime soon,” I say, rushing to correct myself. “For tonight, you should take it easy.”

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