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“I understand,” I say, reaching my hand out to grasp his like a lifeline. “You felt betrayed by the very person who was supposed to always have your back.”
“Now you know why we were so eager to push you away when you came to Caspian Springs,” Bastian says, his voice sounding raw. “You reminded us so much of her, you two have the same kindness and the same passion inside you. We didn’t want to get close, but you drew us in like moths to a flame.”
I feel my heart clench. “Was I just a substitute for Emily then?” I ask, insecurity rearing its ugly head.
“No,” Dominic says quickly, grabbing my free hand. “Never. You may be similar, but you guys are different too. In many ways, you’re stronger than Emily was. She didn’t have the same background as us growing up, or as you, so she didn’t understand what the world was like. She wanted to believe in an ideal that wasn’t always possible.”
“You’re stronger than she was,” Caleb tells me. “She struggled when things didn’t go her way, but you persevere and keep trying.”
“I appreciate you telling me all this,” I say with a sniffle. “It can’t have been easy. It must have been painful when Dr. Thornton told you what he’d done.”
“Felt like my heart had been ripped out,” Dominic admits. “That’s why we had such a hard time seeing you defend him. Our view of him was tainted that day. Even though he apologized, the fact that he did it was such a betrayal.”
“I don’t know how he can live with himself,” I murmur. “He seems like he regrets it though.”
“We just can’t go back to the relationship we once had,” Caleb says. “Some wounds can’t be healed.”
“Maybe in time,” I tell them. “But I get why you’re not ready to mend bridges with him just yet.”
They must have had so much mistrust in Rich after that, wondering if he led her on, or if he deliberately got her drunk and seduced her.
I just wish I knew why he lied about it. Why did he tell me they only kissed? I get that he wanted to save face, but if he’d been honest from the get-go, maybe I could have helped fixed their relationship.
It gnaws at me, so I tuck the information away for later, when I have the bandwidth to confront him. Right now, I just want to be here for the three of them.
They deserve to feel loved wholly and completely. They gave up their original dreams for Emily, and she betrayed them in the worst way possible. I don’t understand how she could take their love and throw it away like that.
“Let’s watch a movie tonight,” I offer. “Something action-y likeThe Fast and the Furious. Something to take our minds off things.”
“Yeah,” Bastian agrees. “That sounds like a good idea.” Though he never cried when discussing Emily, I can see the pain in his eyes, and in the way he holds himself. He’s fidgeting with the ring on his pinky, and he runs his hands through his hair repeatedly.
“Bastian was really torn up,” Caleb confesses as we begin the dinner dishes together. “He took it hardest because he’s the one who introduced us to Emily in the first place. He brought her around and he feels responsible for what she did.”
“But it wasn’t his fault,” I whisper back, drying the plate in my hands. “Emily was the one who chose to betray your relationship.”
“He’s always been like that though. You know the story about us sneaking out? The reason he was the only one who got grounded was because he took the fall and said it was his idea,” Caleb reveals. “Rich let me and Dom off with a warning.”
I lean into him and wrap my arms around his waist. “I can’t believe how much weight Bastian carries on his shoulders.”
“You’ve been good for him,” Caleb says. “You’ve helped him see he doesn’t have to carry so much around on his own.”
“I hope I can be good for all of you,” I say as we finish the washing up. “You and Dominic and Bastian all mean the world to me.”
“You mean the world to us too,” Caleb says, bending down to kiss me. “Now let’s go watch a movie about men stealing cars and driving them very fast.”
He takes my hand in his and leads me into the living room where the other two are already set up. Bastian pats his lap and I go sit on it, next to Caleb. Dominic takes the recliner nearby.
As we watch the film, my mind drifts back to wondering again why Dr. Thornton lied to me. I don’t know what his goal was with lying but I intend to find out.
He can’t treat my boys like this and act like it’s not a big deal, or act like they overreacted. It’s not right.
35
BASTIAN
Aweight feels like it’s been lifted off my chest now that we’ve finally shared the story with Sienna. I didn’t realize how much I’d carried around, holding so much back.
“Wait, did that guy steal that other guy’s car?” Sienna whispers, attempting to keep up with the plot of the film.
