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I almost laughed at the ridicule of the situation, but her eyes were dead serious. Rita was scared and rightfully so. I took this woman away, from her city, from her house...I was just a stranger.
"I could never hurt you." Not consciously, but I knew I was hurting her right now.
Trying to make her feel safe, I put my hands up and gave her a begging look. I just needed her to listen.
"You're fucking insane. And who's fucking child is that? Did you kidnap her from the hospital?"
"Chelsea is my daughter." See, this was good. Even if she was screaming, questions meant she was looking for answers, and this gave me an opening to plead my case. "I was married before and recently divorced. Chelsea is the result of that relationship. Listen..."
"Listen? Are you fucking deaf? Do you hear the fucking words you're saying? You! You told me we were married, that I have a fucking kid!"
I had. In a desperate attempt to grab onto something good, I fucked everything up, and now I didn’t know what to do. She was not giving me a chance to explain, and all I could do was helplessly watch my life going sideways. Again.
"I...you assumed we were married when you woke up."
All the confusion and hostility that was boiling in her turned to pure, volatile anger.
"You never corrected me, James! Don't try to put the blame on me for this fucked up situation when it's you who created it. You took me to this city, put a child in my arms, and...oh, querido Dios. All these people are lying for you. What kind of fucked up group are you?"
Fuck, fuck! FUCK! I needed to keep this under control because God knew I loved this woman, but she was a fireball on good days, and I couldn’t have her ruining London's wedding.
"Rita, don't do this. They are good people and genuinely care about you. If you were given any misinformation, it's because I've asked them to. Rita, I love you. I fell in love with you, with your chaotic beauty and light, with how good you are with my daughter. You have to believe me."
Her mouth opened, but no words escaped, and I didn’t know if this was a good sign or not. All I knew was that I meant every single fucking word.
"I don't know you, and I don't know that child. She's not mine!" Her rejection of Chelsea sent daggers straight into my chest. She was lying to herself right now because I'd seen the care and love she held for Chelsea.
I had one card left...one.
"When I took you to that doctor, he let me look at your scans, Rita." I couldn’t even look at her while speaking. "Your skull has been fractured more than once, probably with some hard objects. I saw the way you reacted when I raised my voice at you. I...I know you weren't happy. You weren't safe."
I watched a dozen emotions wash over her face like waves on a lonely shore. From shock, to anger and finally, it settled on raw fear. This only made me more determined to keep her close because I'd cut my arms off before letting anyone touch her.
"How low are you willing to go, James Sullivan?" I would sink down into hell if it gave me just one chance to keep her close to me. Looking horrified and distressed, she put a hand to her neck and looked desperately around. "He's going to kill me. He's going to find me and kill me for this."
A flood of frozen blood took over me. Murderous. Lethal. I never would have believed I was capable of deadly violence, but she was on the verge of crying, and I was ready to destroy whoever he was.
"You don't ever have to be afraid ever again, Rita. You're safer here with me, and yes, what I did is, is...I don't have a word for it, but I will not apologize for taking you out of that life."
Slap!
Her palm landed on my right cheek and turned my view to the mirrors.
"Rita..."
Slap! Another shot.
"You have no idea what I've been through. You've seen a picture, a fucking picture, but I was there for every hit. But you know what? Nothing," she paused and took a deep breath, "no beating has hurt me more than what you did. You gave me the illusion of a life I knew I didn’t deserve; you took my life away! You made me a mother only for that to be ripped away from me now!"
"You don't have to give up on..."
"MY HEART BROKE A MILLION TIMES every night. I went to sleep and didn't remember my daughter! If you think any harm can be worse than that then you are un hijo de puta delirante!"
Her tears started flowing down her red cheeks, and mindlessly, I launched forward, taking her in my arms.
"Baby, don't. Oh, my love, I never want to see you sad or afraid again. I will not allow it."
She was not struggling, but she was keeping her distance, staying motionless in my arms.
