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Her eyes were silently begging for me to stop, but it was hopeless. My mouth had divorced my brain somewhere halfway through my rant.
“If you wouldn’t have been so stubborn about running away from your guards, you wouldn’t have been on my hands now, but it’s my fucking fault. I crossed a line for a pair of sexy legs.”
My gut twisted with disgust at myself the moment I vomited my words. I felt like I’d been stabbed in the heart when she looked up to me with her ethereal face struck by pain, but before I got to say anything and try to control the damage I’d caused, Cat bolted out of the car and started running barefoot. When I registered what was happening and leapt out of the car to chase after her, Catherinelle had already disappeared under a scaffolding, and I had to lower my head to fit under it.
People were looking at her: a cute young girl in a mini skirt, running barefoot on a December day, chased by a fucking maniac-looking bulldog, but I mentally dared anyone to try and stop me from getting to her.
“Catherinelle, stop!” She didn’t look back, and when I thought I could finally reach her, she turned a corner and ran into a park. Fucking crazy woman, she was going to catch pneumonia and die if I didn’t bring her back to the car soon. “Catherinelle!”
My voice boomed through the trees, and the worst possible thing happened: she got startled and fell to her knees. When I saw her petite body sinking to the ground, my heart fucking stopped. I was in charge of keeping her safe, and I kept pushing her into harm’s way.
“Cat, damn it.” I went to pick her up from the pavement and walked with her to a bench nearby. Luckily, the cold outside kept the park empty. “Are you ok? Did you hurt yourself?”
“No, I’m not ok!” she snapped like a cobra. “I don’t want to see you right now.”
She tried to fight me and set herself free, but I pinned her stubborn ass down.
“Catherinelle, stop. You’re acting spoiled.”
Slap!
My head was yanked to the side, and I froze. The force of her palm landing on my cheek shocked me so much, I thought time had fucking stopped. She smacked me. She smacked me like I was her fucking insubordinate lackey. The beast inside roared in my chest, ready to rebel against her, but I stopped, forcing to stay still, looking straight to the ground under my feet.
“Don’t. Ever. Do. That. Again.” Every word, I whispered through my teeth.
I was used to being hit; it had happened all my life, and all my instincts were screaming to fight back. I would never hurt her willingly; that was not an option. I would rather choose death, but I was an animal, and just like a dog that bites its owner, I was afraid of my own reactions.
“Or what?” she challenged with a brazen tone. “What are you going to do, Mustafa? Hit me back?”
That was my darkest fear. Could I really have done that? The brute and the man were struggling inside me to give her the right answer.
“Never. I would cut my hands before letting that happened.”
Slap!
“Damn it, Catherinelle.” I caught her wrists and held them behind her back. “Stop pushing me.”
“Why would I do that? You treat me like a child. I’m going to act like one.”
“Cat, listen…”
“No, your time for talking is done. You said plenty.”
Because I held her hands very tightly, she had no other option than to let a tear fall down her cheek. The wet trail hurt me as though that little water drop had split her silken skin open. Knowing that I pushed her to that sadness was gutting me, but the evil voice in my head was whispering that it was only a matter of time. I was bound by destiny to bring misery to the lives of those around me. I was the Monster after all, and Catherinelle was no exception.
“Don’t cry, baby girl.”
“I want to go home.”
“I will take you home in a minute. Just calm down first.”
She must have gone through an anger frenzy to run without her shoes on the frozen streets.
“You finally did it, Hugo. You got your point across.” Two other tears followed, gathering on her chin. In seventeen years, I’d never seen her eyes so cloudy. “When we get home, I’ll stay out of your way. Vito can drive me around.”
Finally! I was free of this duty…right? When Gino made me a glorified babysitter, I felt the taste of bile in my mouth, like all the good work I had done for him didn’t matter, and I was underboss just in name. On top of that, I had to spend a lot of time with a sexy she-devil that was forbidden like God’s apple. It was fucking torture, and now she was freeing me. I should have been ecstatic to walk away and bury the nights I had spent between her legs, hoping Cat would take that secret to the grave, but fuck if I was. It drove me crazy to think about trusting Vito around her; the motherfucker was too thirsty and too much of a softy to protect her.
“Would you let me apologize first?” I asked, keeping my voice steady.
