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“Don’t say my name. Was it about the girl? Did you get spooked and run? Did you run because she wasn’t mine?”
My jaw hit the floor and put my hands on my womb, like I was trying to protect it from his vile accusation. He had every right to believe it. I did run and hide as far as I could.
“No, I…I…Remy is…I didn’t know I was pregnant until after I left.”
“And you didn’t come back.” He took a few deep breaths, but I couldn’t read one thing on his face. “You kept my daughter away from me for five years. You didn’t answer, Salva. Why did you leave me when all I was doing was counting the days until I’d make you my fucking wife?”
A fragment of a past life flashed before my eyes. It was us, together, in our kitchen. Roman was in sweatpants and I was wearing just underwear. It was the day after he proposed. We made love for hours that night and he started calling me Mrs. Stefani. I had to blink three times to push back the memories.
“You know why.” I forced myself to give him somewhat of an answer. The emotion was making my body react and a familiar and threatening sharp pain started growing in my chest.
“I don’t know shit, Salvatrice. You never had the decency to look into my eyes and tell me you’re bailing. I was ready to give you the world.”
“What world, Roman?” I snapped and walked around the counter. The anger anguished my fear. “The dirty, filthy, blood-drenched world that you came from?”
He didn’t even flinch.
“Ah, so you’re finally starting to talk. Go on.”
“You know why I left. You lied to me. You lied even when you knew it was people like you who destroyed my life!”
“Say it.” He talked through his teeth.
“You were in the Mob, Roman.” It hurt me to my core to say it out loud.
His face darkened with anger, regret, and visible pain. Yeah, I was feeling just as shitty.
“I’m not in the Mob, Salvatrice. I am the Mob. I’m the right hand to the boss, always was.” He was confirming my fears. I had been in bed with the Devil. More so, I gave birth to his child. Roman turned around, frustrated, found the first table, and smashed his fist into it, making me jump in place. “Was I ever bad to you? Did I ever hurt you? Did something to scare you? No! The answer is fucking no, Salva! You were my everything and you turned your back on me for something you thought you knew.”
“Your father came to me, he said…” I tried to explain myself, but it only pushed him further in that hole he was sliding.
“I don’t give fuck if God came down from the sky and told you to run and never look back. You should have talked to me, confronted me. I deserved something, Salvatrice. If you would have asked me, I would have told you everything, every bad thing I’ve ever done from the moment I was born.”
“Then why didn’t you? You kept me a secret to hide away what your family was doing.”
“Because I was trying to protect you from it! Because the moment you said you’ll marry me, I started cutting my ties with my family. I was ready to leave everything behind for you, but all you were able to give back to me was a coward’s escape.” He’d lied to me for two years, right to my face, while we were sharing a house. I had no reason to feel bad, but still, every word he said felt like a stone that was thrown my way. “I deserved a fraction of what I felt for you back, but instead you hid my daughter from me? I looked for you every day. For six years, I saw you in everything I did. I heard your voice before going to sleep, I clenched every shred of memory that you left behind. My parents are dead, my brothers…they went on to get married and have kids, people moved on, but not me. I was stuck in that ill-fated day you left me for six years.”
I felt sick and ready to puke on the floor I worked so hard to clean the other night. He was saying all the right things and my fears, my frustrations –they were all attacking me from every angle.
When his father came to me and told me I was too weak for his son, that I wasn’t mob wife material, I was so hurt and furious. I can vividly remember every jolt of pain that crossed my heart. All I wanted was to get away from him, so I packed what fit in one suitcase and never looked back. I hated the underworld and all the monsters that were governing the streets of New York City and all that time I thought Roman was the one who would protect me, when in reality he was one of them. Was he telling the truth now? He was getting out for me?
“Roman, I…I’m sorry, but think about me, about how I felt. I thought I’d spend the rest of my life with you and then I found out you were part of something that was haunting my nightmares.”
That stopped him from yelling at me again. I poured my heart out to him. No one in this world knew me like Roman Stefani did. He knew my hardship. A lot of blame was lurking between us, and I felt like shit for taking his child away; I did, but make no mistake—that blame was to be shared. I had given him everything I had, from love and adoration, and dreams, to all my fears, and he threw a lot of bullshit in my face.
“Give me one reason I shouldn’t take you to court right now for full custody and have you charged with international kidnapping and child labor.”
Huh, so he got his fancy law degree after all. I wasn’t surprised in the slightest. Roman was a brilliant man and he was such a lawyer. His mind was exquisite – too bad he planned to use it to defend murders and people who hurt others.
“What in the name of God are you talking about?”
“Romina.” He simply said.
“Romina is fine. She’s my entire universe. I get that you are shocked and mad. Trust me, Roman, I’m not in the best shape myself since you walked through the door. If your plan to hurt me back is to come for my daughter, I promise you it’s going to be one hell of a fight. I don’t think it counts as kidnapping when she was in my body, for fuck’s sake!” It was my time to be angry. No one, not even him, was allowed to threaten my baby.
“You had her working in the street!”
“She is not…Remy wants to take ballet. I promised I’ll get her lessons next fall when I’m covered with my payments for the bakery, but she’s impatient, and determined, and so damn stubborn for five years old.” She took the best from her father. “She wanted to help raise money.”
