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“Sure, I know a great place in Union Square.”
“Uh, fancy.”
“I can pick you up in thirty minutes.”
“Deal. See you soon, Nucci.”
I re-routed to Brighton Beach, my hands grasping the wheel until the leather started making cracking sounds. What the fuck did weird atmosphere mean? I texted Ludmila, but she failed to respond which only troubled me further. Yeah, sure she was fine. Katja would have mentioned if things were different.
I pulled up in front of the house, and Katja was already out, so I didn’t have any time to look around and try to understand what the hell was going on. I would have to either get my info from Katja or wait for Ludmila to text me back.
Shit. I hated to sit and wait.
Chapter 11
I couldn’t wait for this day to just end. Alexei had been in the house all day, which was usual, and it wasn’t preferable. Something was not going his way, but I had no idea what it was and honestly no desire to find out. But Alexei was like a pressure cooker ready to explode. I knew for a fact he would blow soon and there was nowhere to hide. That was what terrified me.
I had to go downstairs to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water and a few apples because I was set on not coming back downstairs until tomorrow, hoping that Alexei would get into his stash of vodka and forget about whatever was working his nerves. When I walked back upstairs, I saw Katja’s bedroom door was opened and stopped to see what she was doing. I was happy she was back home. Things were better when she was in the house – not good, but better. I had significantly less bruises in visible places since she moved in.
“Hey.” I said, watching her brushing her hair. She had a nice dress on, a cute orange number with matching flats. “You’re dressed up.”
“Hey, Ludmi. Yeah, I’m going out for a while.”
“Oh, aren’t you tired after your flight?”
“A little, but I wanna get out of here. I can’t be around Papa right now. I don’t like the look on his face.” Yeah, that sick look that was always a bad omen. Lucky for Katja, she had the option to walk away from it.
“What plans do you have?”
“Enzo’s taking me out for sushi.”
I turned into stone right there in the doorframe. My Enzo? It was dangerous to think like that, maybe stupid too, but how could I not? He was my little corner of heaven. I knew Katja was building a friendship with him, but tonight she didn’t look like she was going out with a friend. Tonight, she had makeup on, and that cute dress, just like she was getting ready for a date.
“Enzo Nucci?”
“Do you know any other?” No, just the one, but I knew him too well. Better than I wanted Katja to ever come close to. I was sick with jealousy just thinking about it.
“Katja are you and Enzo…” I let the sentence dangle because I didn’t have the energy to finish it. This was how he was feeling when he was thinking about my marriage? The bitter tasted gathering on my tongue was horrific.
“I…no.” But she hesitated. She never hesitated when I’d asked her before. “I don’t need a man, Ludmi.”
“You might not need one, but do you want him?” I didn’t need Enzo Nucci in my life either, but I wanted him with every cell in my body. I wanted him like a woman wanted a man – with desperation and absolution.
“Oh, Ludmila, you want to know if I banged him?” She laughed with the serenity of a young girl who had the freedom to go and chase whoever she wanted. God, how I envied her in that moment. “No, he’s a friend. A good-looking friend, though. Hey, if I ever have spicy gossip about Enzo Nucci, I’ll tell you so you can live vicariously through me.” Oh, if she only knew. The handful of times I’d been in close proximity with Enzo could fuel her wet dreams for months.
A flash of our last encounter crossed my mind. I knew I couldn’t stay with him long, but I was violently desperate to see him. When I spotted his car, I didn’t bother with the passenger door, but instead climbed right on his lap. We clawed at each other, sweaty and smelling like sex, finishing together in a kaleidoscope of pleasure. It was unfair, but I couldn’t imagine him doing that with someone else, let alone Katja. That would push me into the depths of the darkness that was already trying to swallow me.
I let Katja alone and ran to my bedroom, grabbing the phone from my bag and locking myself in the bathroom. A message for him, asking me if I was ok was already waiting.
Me: I’m fine. Don’t worry about me, Enzo.
Him: I just wanted to check on you, doll.
Him: I have to go now. Text me if you need me.
After his text, I heard a car idling in the driveway, and I knew it was him. He couldn’t talk anymore because he was with Katja, and Katja finding out would be a disaster. He was just doing this to protect me and do what I’d asked him to do – keep our secret. But my mind and my heart were not communicating anymore, and my fingers were typing on the screen without my consent.
Me: Don’t sleep with Katja. My heart couldn’t take it.
