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“It’s not your fault, baby.”
Wasn’t it? I was the one who drove Popov to a state where she had no choice but to kill him to escape his fists.
“Thank you anyways. Mother, I hope you’ll give Ludmila a fair chance. I need you to like her, Mom, because that woman is not going anywhere.”
“Why would you think I wouldn’t?”
“Because you are my mother and the woman who cheated on her husband with me showed up in the middle of our dinner covered in blood?”
“Right.” She couldn’t help herself and pulled me closer to kiss my cheek. “I don’t like she dragged you into her fucked up marriage, but if you love her and she loves you, there’s nothing else to discuss. Your father dragged me into his life and it turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me.”
“Yeah. Are you two waiting for Dad and Hugo here?”
“No, honey. Cat can drive me back. We were just waiting for you.”
“Ok. Tell my boys to follow behind you until you get home.”
Cat said something about how she was capable of finding her way home without a tail, but I was already halfway to my bedroom. Ludmila needed me, and I could feel that in the depths of my being – it was like a distant, but constant, call.
I opened the door and saw the shape of Ludmila’s body covered by a sheet. She had her back turned and was curled in a ball. For a second, she was so still, I believed she was asleep, but then her shoulders shook. My Russian queen was crying.
“Baby doll,” I whispered before crawling into bed with her, moving slow so I wouldn’t scare her. “Don’t cry. He’s not worthy of your tears.”
Her hand reached and grabbed mine.
“I killed a man, Enzo. I took that knife and ended his life and teper' ya ne znayu…” her languages started to mash together.
“Shh! You did nothing wrong. You were defending yourself, baby.”
“I could go to jail.”
“You won’t. They will never find Alexei’s body and Katja is not interested in pressuring the authorities to look for him. I cleaned up the place, your clothes and car are gone. Hugo will melt the knife. It’s done and if someone ever comes sniffing around, they’ll have to get through me first.” I didn’t tell her, but I put my name on Alexei’s murder. I’d never let them get to her.
“Enzo, I…could you ever look at me the same?”
“What? Ludmila, turn around and look at me.” It took her a few moments, but she did as I’ve said. “Do I look at you any differently than I did yesterday?”
“I killed a man! I am a killer!”
“And I’m one too.” I pressed my lips to her forehead. When she was so close, I could smell that sweet and spicy Ludmila aroma that made my heart beat faster. “I’m so sorry, baby doll. Could you ever forgive me?”
“You?”
“I pushed Popov yesterday. I threw our love in his face and got cocky thinking he’d just accept it and let you come to me. I pushed him, and that made you a target, Ludmila. You have to live with his blood on your hands, and even if he’s no loss to the world, it’s my fault you had to do what you did. Can you look at me the same?”
“I love you, Enzo, just like I did yesterday. Alexei attacked me. He wanted to kill me, but I killed him first. That’s all that happened. You had no part in it because if it wouldn’t have happened today, Alexei would have eventually killed me. Can’t you see? If I wouldn’t have met you I would have just…let him.”
The thought of her spending any more time with that man was too disturbing. I couldn’t fucking handle it.
“Let’s not talk about it anymore.”
“But you need to know, Enzo. You helped me find myself again. Because of you I had the strength to break my golden cage, do you understand that? I’m not dead now because of you. Because you gave me a reason to fight – our love was a reason to fight.” She melted my fucking heart. “I didn’t want to kill him. Alexei was an animal, and I hated that I was the one to put him down, but if you hadn’t shown me there’s still something there to fight for, I would have died in his hands. Now all I have to do is pray.”
“For forgiveness?”
“For my family. I have to pray that I can get to them before Alexei’s friends figure out something has happened to him. If they find that I had something to do with it, my family is dead.” She buried her face in my chest and sobbed.
“Ludmila…”
