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“She’s who you are.”
“I’m trying to figure this shit out.” The weight of that simple statement had Carter laughing lightly before he murmured, “I’m fucked.”
“You gonna survive this?”
“I have no fucking clue.” His eyes shifted to the door. “But failing Kenni is not an option.”
He tossed back what was left of his drink and placed the glass on the table. “You gonna be around for a while?”
“Yeah, I’ll be around.” Carter nodded and made his way to the door. “Nobody can get up here. This place is Fort-fucking-Knox.”
“I’ll relax after tonight. Until then, this is what it is.”
There were two names left on his kill list. Jessup and Kessler. Kessler wouldn’t be an issue but Jessup was willing to put money on the line to ensure a victory over Carter. He had to go first. Since he was dumb enough to think Carter would back down, he would be dealt with tonight.
Once Jessup took his last breath, Carter could relax some. There was a possibility of more enemies, but none that were actually trying to harm people he cared about. For now, every precaution was necessary.
“Nah, not even then. Your life isn’t the same, Carter. The woman across the hall fucked all that up for you.”
Brooks was right, but Carter wasn’t complaining. McKenna was worth the adjustments he would have to make.
After he was on the elevator, Carter leaned against the back, staring at his reflection in the steel doors. He let his head fall back and closed his eyes.
I don’t know how the fuck I’m gonna make this work with you wanting to run and never look back, but you’re stuck with me, Kenni. No fucking outs.
He never wanted this because it never worked. His father thought he could exist in both spaces, but his life, the same one Carter chose, eventually caught up with him. Carter never knew why his father wanted out. He always assumed that it got to be too much but it could have been more.
They never discussed who he was outside of their home. Carter knew, but his father never shared that part of his life with him. Carter wasn’t sure if that was for his benefit or his father’s. He also had no fucking idea if he would learn from his father’s mistakes or follow the same path when it came to his own family.
What he did know was that he refused to allow history to repeat itself. No matter what his decision would be, McKenna would never be left to figure out how to exist in a world he dragged her into without him. The first step would be handled tonight.
Chapter
Five
McKenna spent her day exploring Carter’s apartment. She started in his room, peeking in drawers, then his closet. The next stop was the bathroom where she opened cabinets, looked under the sink, then did a deep dive in the guest bedrooms and bathrooms, searching for anything that hinted to a woman spending time there.
She didn’t have the right because the past three months of her life had been spent entertaining a man who clearly did nothing for her physically or emotionally. Even if she and Tevin hadn’t been physically intimate, she did suffer through his constant attempts to persuade her to share his bed.
When she insisted they needed to see how things worked before they crossed back into a sexual relationship he reluctantly agreed. McKenna knew things between them would never be the same but she owed it to herself to try. Carter had walked away, he wasn’t allowed to ruin her chances of being happy.
It didn’t take long for her to realize if happiness existed in her world, it wouldn’t be with Tevin. She danced around the idea for weeks until she could no longer pretend there was the possibility of a future with him. The plan was to end things after the benefit he invited her to because she didn’t want to bail last minute. She now realized the efforts to rebuild with Tevin had been futile. One night with Carter made those three months feel like a lifetime ago and he hadn’t even kissed her.
By late afternoon, McKenna was bored and hungry so she ended up making a turkey and grilled cheese sandwich which she paired with kettle chips and apple juice, rolling her eyes at the fully stocked fridge and pantry. It was odd imagining a man like Carter existing in his own world. A very lavish one that contradicted the man she spent three days with.
McKenna wasn’t naïve. The backpack full of money she refused to accept the morning Carter left her house was proof that his occupation paid well. But seeing and experiencing his life in real time felt foreign.
Not so foreign that she didn’t sigh in contentment after settling into one corner of his very expensive, buttery soft sofa, where she tucked her feet beneath her and powered on the TV. She had no clue how long Carter would be gone which meant she needed to find something to do with her time. Armed with her phone as a backup plan, McKenna believed the easiest option was to find something mindless to watch.
The idea worked until the device tucked beside her began to vibrate with a call. She frowned at the screen and exhaled a sigh, knowing that she should answer and at least check in.
“Hey, Drea.”
“Ken-Ken. What are you doing?”
McKenna tensed at the nickname and question. She and Drea were about the only two on staff that picked up and rotated shifts for each other. The other two admins were a lot older and not very flexible about not adhering to their schedules.
“I can’t, Drea.”
