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“Exactly.”
“Then you’ve got yourself a deal, Kiddo. Now let me see this man who you think is the best thing since sliced bread,” says the voice, and I hear their footsteps coming toward the bedroom.
The drapes are drawn and I’m lying in near darkness until the door creaks open slowly and the light pours in behind Bethany, making her glow like an angel.
She walks into the bedroom and then steps aside to reveal a tiny woman with enormous thick-rimmed glasses holding a fat ginger cat.
“Holy shit! Now that’s what I call a man,” says the woman, her fuchsia-pink lips falling open at the sight of me.
“Greetings, Nancy,” I groan, raising my hand feebly to acknowledge her as another feverish shiver wracks my body.
“Not a bad thing to see as my last sight on earth,” says Nancy, walking toward the bed to give me a closer inspection.
“He’s a pretty one, I’ll give you that,” says Nancy, humming with appreciation before turning back to Bethany. “Now, let’s get this over and done with. Loverboy looks like he’ll be gone any second, and I don’t want to miss my shot at eternal solitude.”
“You will let us call you from the lamp sometimes, won’t you?” asks Bethany, and the emotion in her voice breaks me.
She explained all about Nancy, and I know how much she means to her, so the idea of her losing her completely to save me is twisting my guts.
“I wouldn’t want you to miss out on the pleasure of my company entirely,” says Nancy dryly. “You can summon me on the third Sunday of every month, and every year on St Patrick’s Day. How does that sound to you, Kiddo?”
“It sounds perfect,” beams Bethany. “But why St Patrick’s Day? I didn’t know you were Irish.”
“I’m not, but what can I say? I like the color green,” says Nancy, shrugging her cat into one arm so it drapes over her shoulder and grabbing the lamp with her other hand.
“So come on Blue-Balls,” she says, addressing me for the first time. “What have we got to do so you and Bethany can go skipping off into the sunset?”
“We must both touch the lamp,” I explain, each word feeling like a battle. “Then Bethany must rub it.”
“Sounds pretty perverse if you ask me,” says Nancy, pressing her lips together tightly as she holds the lamp out toward me.
I rest my hand against it, and it immediately glows bright gold, as a glittering aura swirls around it.
“Here goes,” says Bethany, biting her lip as she slowly starts to rub.
The furniture in the room begins shaking like we’re in the epicenter of a high-magnitude earthquake, and the ceiling light crackles while flashing on and off.
The lamp warms, then suddenly a glaring beam of white light flares out of it, filling the room with blinding brightness while a rushing sound whirls deafeningly around our ears.
The light slowly dims, and the room falls into silence until Nancy’s voice splits through the air.
“Well, would you look at that?” says Nancy, staring down at her new green torso that fades into a bright pink belt with a trailing mist where her legs used to be.
Mr. Binx, who is also green and pink, looks more than a little confused as he leaps from her arms and floats into the air.
His bewilderment soon turns into delight when he spots the plume of smoke coming out from his middle, and he spins around in mid-air, trying to catch it.
“Has it worked? Are you better now?” asks Bethany, dropping to her knees next to the bed and pressing her hand against my forehead.
“It’s worked,” I growl, reaching to touch her face, then jolting with surprise when I notice I’m no longer blue, but a deep golden brown.
I look down at my body, then lift the covers to check what else has changed.
“Is it still…you know?” asks Bethany, arching an inquisitive eyebrow.
“Still pierced,” I grin, before turning to look up at Nancy.
“Nancy, I thank you from the bottom of my heart,” I say, pressing my hand over my chest to feel its beat. “I owe you my life. I am eternally at your service, and should you ever need for anything, I would give - “
