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Holy shit. I’m drunker than I thought.
CHAPTER TWO
Zeno
I’m usually indifferent to the humans that summon me from the lamp, but the first thing I notice about this one is that she’s beautiful. Spectacularly so.
Long brown hair tumbles down past her shoulders with the occasional decorative green leaf weaved into it. Her eyes are ocean blue and framed by dark lashes, and her lips are plump with a perfect bow shape at the top. She looks like an angel.
“What the hell? Did I press a button or something?” she mutters to herself, ignoring me entirely as she picks the lamp up from the floor and turns it over in her hands.
“I am the genie of the lamp,” I announce in a booming voice to introduce myself.
“And I will grant you three wishes,” I say, extending my arm with a flourish that has delighted all of my previous owners.
This new one simply snorts out a laugh and says, “Toys these days are so cool.”
“I am not a toy. I am a genie, here to grant wishes,” I repeat, folding my arms across my chest and cocking an eyebrow at this puzzling beauty.
“How are you talking to me? Is this AI or something?” she says, screwing up her face and looking at me with confusion.
“I am not familiar with this AI of which you speak. I am talking to you because I am a genie and I -”
“Yeah yeah, grant wishes. I heard you the first time. But that can’t be real. Ugh. I’m never drinking with Nancy again,” she groans, pressing her palm against her forehead.
“Let me prove to you that I am real, and you are my new owner. Make a wish,” I say, but she simply grimaces like she might be sick.
“Don’t call me your owner, it’s weird. My name’s Bethany. What’s yours?” she says, and the sound of her name sends a crackle of excitement through me that makes my blue skin shimmer.
“Okay, Bethany,” I say, rolling her delightful name around on my tongue. “My name is Genie.”
“You are not called Genie,” she scoffs, rolling her eyes. “That would be like my name being Woman. What’s your real name?”
I’m momentarily stunned as I try to think back. I’ve existed for seventy-two thousand years, and this is the first time in my existence that somebody has asked for my real name.
“Zeno,” I say slowly, the word feeling unfamiliar on my lips, like the faded memory of a dream.
“Cool name,” she shrugs, peeling a slice of bright yellow cheese from a plastic package and shoving it into her pretty mouth.
“Okay, Zeno. So tell me about these wishes,” she says in a muffled voice between chews. “Can I really wish for anything?”
“Almost anything. There are rules. You may not wish death upon anyone, and you may not wish for more wishes.”
“Such a cliche, now I know you’re a toy,” she snorts with another roll of her enchanting blue eyes.
“Fine. Let’s play your game and see if you’re telling the truth because this cheese just isn’t hitting the spot,” she says, dumping the packaging back on the counter. “I wish for a burger. A big juicy one with cheese, pickles, and mustard.”
“Bethany, you can wish for anything in the world. Change this meager wish for something bigger before it is too late,” I say, flexing my muscles as I try to contain the magic building inside of me.
“In that case, I don’t just wish for one burger. I wish for a shit-ton of burgers,” she giggles. “As many burgers as I want for the rest of my life.”
“Bethany, no,” I groan, trying to force the magic down, but it’s too late. It ruptures out of me, a blue bolt of magical lightning shooting out of my fingers, and then her cabinet door bursts open, and a continual stream of burgers shoots out of it.
They land on the floor in a series of soft thumps, and as I watch the pile grow, the only relief I can take is that they are each wrapped in wax paper.
Bethany gasps, and her hands fly up to cover her open mouth as she stands frozen on the spot.
I burn with shame for letting her waste her first wish, certain that this magnificent beauty will now hate me.
