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“I worry about you.”
I can’t help but scoff. “You gave Kace what I assume was some kind of forged medical document just to discredit me and shatter my credibility, and now you have the audacity to claim you worry about me?”
“I did what I had to do to keep you away from those creeps,” Derrick replies. “You had no idea what you were getting yourself into, Amaya. You’re a good woman with a wonderful heart. You deserve better. I saw the way you were all looking at each other. I heard about the rumors, too. You’d be surprised by how much information a woman like Ramada can pick up on in those ritzy circles.”
“Derrick, I don’t know what you’re talking about, and I honestly don’t care. Are you done? Can I go on my lunch break now, or do you have another bridge to sell me?”
He tries to get close but I take a step back. “Amaya, I swear I was only looking out for you. Those guys are weirdos, they screw the same woman. That’s sick and demeaning, I didn’t want you hanging out with them. Trust me, I did you a favor.”
It suddenly hits me.
I see it in his eyes. It’s written all over his face. He knows or at least suspects something about my relationship with Kace, Finn, and Elias. Dread sneaks up my spine and drops my body temperature to somewhere around freezing levels when I realize he could be the one behind the photos. But to what end? Blackmail? Or just something to hold over my head? If I bring it up, however, and Derrick had nothing to do with it, I risk a different kind of exposure.
“You only do yourself favors, Derrick. Time and time again, you have proven precisely that.”
“I love you, Amaya.”
“Piss off.”
“I do. Maybe someday you’ll understand. Everything I ever did, I did for you. For you and for Mikey. I miss you both so much, it hurts.”
And now I’m laughing. Wholeheartedly. Doubling over. Is he drinking his own Kool-Aid or does he actually think I’m going to fall for this nonsense? The harder I laugh, the more confused Derrick seems, so I take a deep breath and gather myself, if only to see where he’s going with this. There’s a punchline coming, I can almost smell it. It’s not in Derrick’s nature to grovel. This whole conversation is supposed to lead somewhere, and I think he’s trying to test my boundaries, my defenses. He must think I’m stupid.
God, I can’t believe I actually gave this man five years of my life. It’s crazy what love does to those of us who don’t know how to love ourselves before we love anybody else.
“Derrick, I’ll be honest. I’d rather chew my own feet off than ever be with you again,” I say. “You hurt me in ways I didn’t think were possible, and it took me a while to figure you out. I cannot unsee the real you. No matter how hard you try or what you say, I will never believe you. I will never fall for your tricks. And you will never be a part of my life or Mikey’s. Now, I’m serious. I will file a restraining order against you if you continue harassing me.”
“Amaya…”
“Oh, great, here comes more lies,” I mutter and roll my eyes in genuine disgust.
“You’ll come back to me,” he says, his tone shifting into something malicious and downright destructive. “Sooner or later, your life will be so miserable, you will have no choice but to come back to me. I will destroy you. I will put you down, over and over, until you remember who you are and what I’m capable of. And when no one else dares come within ten feet of you, you will understand that I’m the only person who will ever want you. And then, you’ll come back.”
I stare at him with a mixture of nausea and disbelief. I’m not sure if it’s pregnancy-related nausea or it’s merely Derrick’s presence, but I fear I might puke in the next minute if I don’t get this monster out of my sight.
“I would rather die than ever come to you for anything, you piece of trash. Your whole life, you’ve been nothing but a parasite, a small and vain man, a total loser,” I calmly reply. “And you clearly can’t handle rejection, either. But listen to me, Derrick, because you don’t scare me anymore. Even if my life is in shambles, even if I can no longer pick myself off the ground, even if I lose everything and everyone I love the most, I will never give you the power you once had over me. I would rather die. Now, get the fuck out of here.”
I’m the one to walk away. I burst through the staff room door and stop by the kitchenette sink, taking deep breaths as I carefully listen to the sound of Derrick’s footsteps receding. The front doors opening and closing. And the receptionist finally calling out.
“He’s gone, Amaya.”
Good. But I can’t breathe properly. Heat oozes through every pore, my skin crawling and stretching at the same time. A ball of bitterness unravels in the back of my throat, and my knees grow weaker and weaker with each passing moment.
The world begins to fade around me. Colors dissolve into something white and all-encompassing, and I fear it will swallow me whole unless I find a way to keep my head above the surface. I’m losing control along with my senses. The ground disappears from under my feet, and my vision is shifting.
Shapes melting and rotating.
I hit the ground—hard. Glass breaking. My shoulder hurts.
The door opens.
“Oh my God, Amaya!”
My mind is blank as the whiteness around me darkens into pitch black, hugging me like a weighted blanket and wiping me out.
26
Elias
