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“Except for the article in October,” he shoots back. His mouth twists with unhappiness.
“One time. That was a mistake. It won’t happen again.” I’m shaking now. How can he profess to love me and think so poorly of me?
His jaw clenches and he doesn’t respond.
“You don’t believe me,” I say, with dawning realization. “You think I’m like her. When you sent those nude photos to me, what was your first thought? That I would sell them to Dylan?”
“Yes,” he says bleakly. “My first thought was that they would end up on the front page.”
“I was all in,” I choke out. “I was thinking about how much I missed you and I wanted you.” My voice is rising with my anger. “And you were thinking about whether or not I would betray you? I would never sell photos of you again, Jonah. I’d sooner publish them myself.”
He jolts like I’ve punched him. My words are stupid, said in anger, and meaningless. I should take them back, but anger and hurt twine through me in a potent mix that makes it tough to swallow my pride. Jonah shoves his hands through his hair, mussing the strands I know feel like silk against my thighs.
“At the time, I told myself I knew you wouldn’t publish them. I know you’re not her, Callie, I do.” He looks at me with pleading eyes. “But I don’t think I’ll ever forget how I felt when those videos were published. So yes, a tiny part of me regrets sending them,” he finishes quietly.
I choke out a breath. “How could you paint with such a broad brush? How?” My cheeks are wet with tears. I didn’t even realize I was crying. “You say you know I’m not like her, but you’re still acting like I am. It all makes sense now.” My voice is shaky. “Why you hated me so much. The way you tormented me. What was your plan, Jonah?”
“You knew I hired you for revenge. I told you.”
I did know, and yet, I thought he was beyond that. I thought he was all in. But love without trust is meaningless. I learned that lesson with Eric. My chest feels like it’s going to crack.
“I didn’t realize it was like this,” I burst out. I was all in when he was scheming. An innocent lamb led to the slaughter, except I’m not innocent and he fucking told me exactly what he planned to do. And like an idiot, I thought hatred could turn into real love. Men don’t change.
“Were you planning to use me? Was I supposed to go after Annalise too?”
“No, sweetheart.” He rises from the couch, and I step back warily. I don’t want him near me. Not when he doesn’t trust me.
He raises his hands placatingly. “I hired you initially with a stupid plan of using you to get back at Dylan. I thought maybe he’d hire you, and I could get you to give me information.”
My jaw drops. He’s so much more ruthless than I ever imagined.
“Callie. I’m over that. It was a stupid plan. I should never have used you. I love you. If you just stop the articles, I promise I’ll forget it ever happened.”
“So I’ll give up everything I’ve worked for and just be consumed by your life? I’ve been there before. I don’t want that again.” My heart is racing. I can’t go back to living in a man’s shadow. I won’t. Not even for Jonah.
He steps toward me, but I back up unsteadily. His eyes are wild. “Please, Callie.” He stops, clenching and unclenching his fists, like he wants to grab me, but he knows I’ll hate it.
“I can’t do this,” I choke out. “You want this on your terms. I’m not that girl anymore. I have to go.”
I give him one last look before I leave. He looks broken, stunned. But he doesn’t follow me as I walk down the hallway into the night, even though a little part of me wishes he would.
52
Jonah
I wake to my phone ringing. I feel like shit. Gritty eyes, cotton mouth, sweaty palms. Maybe I’m getting sick. Not fucking likely. I glance at Callie’s side of the bed as if she’ll be there.
“Mr. Crown? We’ve identified a cyber security threat. Are you near a computer?” My head of security’s voice is clipped. This is the tone Sean uses when something bad is happening. Fuck.
“What time is it?”
“Five a.m. Are you near a computer, sir? We need to know how to proceed.”
“Sure, yeah,” I mutter, pressing a palm to my eye. I stumble to my laptop, which sits on the couch. I reviewed documents and drank until I fell asleep. All to forget about Callie and the horrified look on her face. Thinking her name makes me feel like an elephant is sitting on my chest.
“We’re sending you a link, sir. Please pull it up.”
The light of my laptop hurts my eyes, but I dutifully click the link that Sean sends me. “What is this?”
