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“That’s good. Okay, wish them well for me. I guess I’ll see you in a few days.”
“Sure.” I started to tell him that I would come by the house to get some clothes in the morning, but someone was calling him.
“I’ll be right there. I’ve gotta go, babe. Talk to you later.” I looked at the phone in my hand like it was a foreign object. I went back downstairs and pretended to eat the dinner mom put in front of me but put in the garbage disposal as soon as her back was turned.
I think that maybe, just maybe, if someone had told me at that point that I should maybe give it a try, that I would’ve fought my way back to happiness with the man I loved. Because beneath all the heartache and the pain, I was still in love with him.
But that all changed when I went home the next day for a change of clothes and found her there in my bed. I walked into the room, already expecting her because her car was in the driveway, but I was hoping against hope that she was in the nursery and there was a good excuse for her being there.
They were both asleep, wrapped around each other in my bed, and I think the last part of me that was human died. I didn’t turn on the light as I walked through the bedroom past the sleeping couple to the walk-in closet.
He must’ve heard me moving around in there because the next thing I knew he was standing in the doorway. “Hey, I didn’t know you were coming by here. What time is it?” I didn’t answer, just kept packing my bag with more clothes now than I’d intended.
“No worries, I’ll be out of your way soon.”
“I’m sorry, she had too much to drink last night, and I didn’t want her driving home with the baby.”
“What happened to the guestroom?”
“She wasn’t comfortable; look, nothing happened.”
“Okay.”
“That’s it? Just okay?”
“Uh-huh.”
“So you believe me?”
“Sure.”
“Dan, where are you? I’m cold.” She called from the bed, and he turned to go back to her before remembering which one of us he was married to.
“Go ahead.” I smiled for the first time in a long while, and it felt genuine. He saw it, too, and relaxed as he went back to the bed. I heard them whispering but couldn’t be bothered. While I was in there, I opened the safe and removed all of my important documents and half the cash that was in there.
I don’t know how I made it through the workday, but by the time I got back to my parents’ place that evening I had the number for a very reputable divorce attorney and a game plan in place.
I used the week at my parents to get everything I needed together for the divorce. Dan wasn’t even aware that I was gone because he was playing house with someone else in our home.
When he was served the following week, I had already moved out most of my clothes by going home on my lunch break and taking things away bit by bit. By the time he was served the only thing left there was the furniture.
The lawyer had assured me that there was no danger of him claiming abandonment, especially since there were no children in the marriage, and given the circumstances, no judge in his right mind would fault me for leaving.
I knew that Cecile would make trouble, so I called in some of my sick days which had accumulated over the years, which bought me roughly three weeks. My plan was to work from home after that time was up, so for now, I hunkered down at my parents’ house.
I knew Dan wouldn’t show up there for fear of what my Dad would do to him, but there was no guarantee that his mother wouldn’t. I was asking for half of everything for the house to be sold, even though the lawyer was pretty sure she could get him to give it up. I would never step foot in that place again.
He didn’t show up, but he called. “Amanda, what is this? I thought you said everything was fine. Is this because you saw her in our bed? I told you, nothing happened.”
“Okay.”
“Would you stop saying that? Why don’t you come by the house and we can talk about this. You don’t need to leave; there’s no reason for this after promising that you could handle it.”
“Well, I can’t. I can’t handle being pushed to the side while you and another woman take family pictures with your child.”
“Look, that wasn’t me, that was Mom, and I already asked her to cut it out. She just wants Junior to have good memories when he grows up.”
“And that’s what I want too. For your son to have great memories with his parents, of which I am not one.” I was too tired to delve into all the things I wanted to say to him. All the hurt that I had bottled up inside for the past few months. I just wanted to be done.
