Page 53 of Replacing My Ex


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My heart almost stopped until I reminded myself that I had been raising my little sister for the past six years, and she was fine. But that’s the problem; she’s a pain in the ass to raise.

I’d already passed out once and didn’t want to make an ass of myself again, so I acted like I wasn’t scared out of my damn mind. It wasn’t just my baby girl that made me nervous, though, in all fairness. I find that practice and theory are two different ball games.

I thought I was prepared, but nothing prepared me for the wave of emotion I felt. Fear, excitement, joy. It was all wrapped up in one. I looked at my sons, one in his mother’s arms and one in mine, then turned my attention to my daughter.

I don’t want to be one of those dads, but yeah, just like her mother, I’d do twenty to life for her. It’s weird; she looks exactly like her brothers, but just knowing she’s a girl makes me feel different.

Like I needed to hold her more carefully and not put too much pressure on the arm I was holding her in. They were small, all three of them, but from the chatter in the room coming from the nurses, they were all healthy.

Like they would fucking know. “Where’s that quack?”

“Thunder, behave; Dr. Jolie explained that your daughter was hiding behind her brothers, and that’s why she didn’t know there were three instead of two.”

“Uh-huh! Pull the other one. You two did this shit on purpose.” She thinks I can’t see her trying not to laugh in my face.

“No, we didn’t; remember, if you’d let me get the ultrasound, this wouldn’t have happened.”

“Oh, so now it’s my fault?”

“What would you have done if you had known?”

“I would’ve been prepared, at least.”

The idiot doctor came swanning in, but I noticed she stayed her ass far away from me.

“Doc, I’m gonna report you to somebody.”

“Why? What have I done?” Another one who was hiding her laughter.

“What is this? You missed a whole other person.”

“But isn’t it a nice surprise?” Surprise my ass.

“Oh shit. We only have two of everything.” Panic mode activated.

“I know, don’t panic. I’ve already asked Mom to call the store in the morning to order another crib, and Joy and Angel will pick up some things until we’re ready to go shopping. It’ll be fine.”

Why does it seem like she’s the one who’s been calming me down this whole time instead of me her? And why the hell is she so calm? I gave her a look, then looked at the Doc squinty-eyed because I wasn’t sure they hadn’t pulled one off on me.

Because of the new hospital regulations, only one person was allowed in at a time, so for each one that came in, I gave a new order. From the smirks and bullshit, I knew they’d heard about me passing out cold.

I almost lost my shit when the idiot doctor claimed my wife could leave the next day, but because she’d had multiples, whatever the fuck that meant, the babies should stay at least one more day just to make sure all was fine.

“I thought you said they were fine.”

“They are; everything checks out. But with multiples, we like to be sure.”

“Then we’re all staying.” I don’t trust these fucks not to sell my kids on the black market.

“You still don’t trust me?”

“Right in one. For all I know, you purposely hid the kid. Who knows what the hell you were planning to do.”

“I don’t see why it should matter. Didn’t you say you didn’t want any girls?”

I tried to cover my daughter’s ears, but her brother had my other arm occupied. “Don’t say that in front of her. What is wrong with you?” Both she and my wife started laughing like I was their comedy hour.

That night I insisted that the babies stay in the room with us when given the option and didn’t sleep a wink as I stayed up watching over the four of them. It was sometime later in the middle of the night when my little girl woke up hungry, and I held both her and her mom in my arms as she nursed that the fear disappeared.

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