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The problem is I’m a complete mess.
For one, my head isn’t in it.
I’ve spent the entire afternoon glancing at where Cassidy typically sits, missing her presence. The worst part is it hasn’t gone unnoticed by anyone. The jumbotron has caught me doing it often, according to Coach, who’s about ready to kick my ass.
I’m slammed into from behind, and nothing is called. My anger flares as I spin on the dickhead from the opposing team, skating after him without any thought to where the puck is.
I lower my shoulder and throw him into the boards, earning myself an immediate penalty.
“What the fuck?” I say, throwing my gloved hands up. “Were you fucking blind a moment ago?”
The ref ignores me, calling out my penalty.
I refrain from telling him to go to hell, knowing that will surely send Coach over the edge.
“Do I even want to know what’s happening out there?” Dane asks as I take a seat next to him in the penalty box. Apparently, both of us are feeling violent today.
“What are you talking about?”
He lifts a brow. “You’ve been skating around like a lost puppy. Constantly checking the stands. She’s not here, dude. Get your head in the game.”
I pull a face. “I’m not acting like a lost puppy.”
“Dude…you’re acting exactly like a puppy dog,” he says, curling his upper lip.
I’m not gonna sit here and continue to argue with him, especially because I know he’s not entirely wrong.
Over the course of time since Cassidy entered my life, I’ve become more and more dependent on her. But it’s not just that. Of course, her help with my rituals has been a game changer, but even if she didn’t do any of that, I would want her here.
I need her here.
The calm she brings.
And calm is one thing I’ve been low on in this lifetime. Constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop doesn’t allow for that.
“Where is she, anyway? Everything good with you two?” Dane asks, pulling me from my thoughts of Cassidy.
“Everything’s fine. She’s running errands for the gala.”
I’m not entirely lying. She is doing just that, but the whole part about her being my girlfriend makes me feel bad.
I allow very few people into my life, and Dane is one of them. Lying to him is one of the worst parts of my current position.
“Let me guess…you just sprang it on her this morning.”
I shake my head, pursing my lips. “Yesterday.”
He whistles. “You’re lucky she didn’t castrate you. Do you have any idea how much work goes into these things for a woman?”
“I didn’t peg you for a guy who cared about those sorts of things.”
“I’m not. But Molly likes to harp on me every time I spring these events on her at the last minute.”
Dane and Molly have a relationship that I’ve never experienced from family. They only have each other and they rely heavily on one another. She’s his constant, and he’s hers. If not for Molly, Dane would probably be off the team and a raging alcoholic. His words. Apparently, it runs in the family.
“I just told Molls about it too. She’s not currently happy with me. She said I should know better.” He shrugs. “She should know better. It’s not like this is her first rodeo with me.”
“No shit.” I chuckle. “I’m finding it is not easy to book someone for hair and makeup this last minute.”
