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When you’ve lived your life being treated like a nuisance by the people who are supposed to love you above everything else, you tend to believe nobody cares.
The number that woman did on me throughout the years settles over me, and that pain in my chest intensifies. Her abuse through the years made all my compulsions so much worse, and there are no repercussions for it.
She lifts her hand to my cheek, wiping away a tear I didn’t even know fell.
“Please don’t,” I say, my voice full of emotion. “I don’t need you to pity me.”
She frowns, shaking her head. “These are things that someone else should’ve done for you years ago, Aiden. Your mother…” She grits her teeth and inhales sharply. “She’s a horrible person, and what she did is unforgiving.”
This woman, who I have only known for a short time, has been kinder to me than anyone else has my entire life, apart from one person.
Sure, Mike and my teammates have had my back, but it’s different. My friends know nothing of my past, and while Mike does, I pay him a significant amount of money to be on my side.
Yes, I pay Cassidy too, but it’s a short-term contract. Nothing that she’s offered to me today is expected, yet she’s willingly stepped in and formed a plan. One that has my long-term best interest in mind.
One that speaks directly to me and to people like me. She understands me down to my core, and I don’t understand how that’s possible. Not when the very person who gave me life has treated me like nothing more than a stranger they’ve been saddled with.
The years of neglect. The years of abuse. The years of being told I was damaged have done a number on me I didn’t even fathom until this moment. The small, beating organ behind my ribs shatters. I slink to the floor, head between my knees, working on my breathing.
At the end of the day, I have no one.
Not a single person in my corner for the long haul. Cassidy will leave me eventually. They all do.
I’m drowning in a sea of grief, caused from years of abandonment. The heavy burden of knowing I’m nothing more than a meal ticket to the woman who gave birth to me is crushing.
Cassidy falls to her knees in front of me, placing her hands on the sides of my cheeks, but I don’t dare lift my head.
“Aiden, look at me,” she commands. “I’m not them. I won’t hurt you.”
I lift my tear-stained eyes to meet her. I should be ashamed that she’s seeing me like this. But I’m not. Cassidy makes me feel safe. Something I can’t say about too many other people.
“Do not let her break you any further,” Cassidy says, holding my stare. “She doesn’t get to have this much of an impact on you.”
“You don’t understand—”
“I do.” She cuts in. “I understand more than you know.” Her head falls back on her shoulders as she looks at the ceiling. “God, I wish I didn’t, but I do. Fight through the pain, Aiden, because you are loved. No matter what you think. You. Are. Loved.”
My head shakes back and forth. “No, I’m not.”
She places her fingers under my chin, holding my head in place when I attempt to look away.
“Yes, you are. Aiden, your teammates love you. Your fans love you.” Her hands lift into the air as her head swivels around the room. “This entire town loves you.” Her face turns hard and somehow, I know whatever she’s about to say is about my mother. “You don’t need her approval, and you sure as hell don’t need her false love. You never have.”
I don’t even think. My body moves without permission as I lunge forward, pressing my lips to hers. Cassidy goes still for a moment, apparently shocked by my actions.
Me too, Cass. Me too.
It doesn’t take long before she melts into me, returning my kiss enthusiastically. Our tongues tangle in sync as if we’ve been doing this our whole lives. I explore every inch of her warm mouth in a dance that’s equal parts sensual and feverish. The need for more is so acute that I need to pull back before I take it too far. But it’s not me who pulls away. It’s Cassidy.
“I’m sorry, Cassidy.”
“Don’t apologize,” she says. “Please don’t apologize. I wanted it every bit as much as you seemed to need it.”
I blink, taken aback by how sincere she is.
She wants this.
I want this.
