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It’s time for someone to know.
“Cassidy isn’t who I thought she was.”
His eyes widen, but he doesn’t interrupt. Dane has known me long enough to know I don’t share my life, my secrets, or my past with anyone. The fact that I’m talking to him now means that shit is really bad. That I’m at rock bottom and need help clawing my way back to the top.
“I didn’t grow up the way you think. I obviously explained most of this already when I told you about my mom. But what I didn’t tell you was that there was this girl…”
“Isn’t there always?” He huffs, taking a long pull from his whiskey.
If I didn’t have a mountain of problems, I’d dig into that a little more, but there will be time to uncover Dane’s secrets later.
“Not the way you’re thinking. She was younger. Much younger. I was younger,” I clarify. “This girl was like a little sister to me. She saw me. Understood me. Never judged me.”
I give him a small, sad smile as I lift my glass to my mouth and take another swig.
“Her name was Pippa. I called her Pip. She was this little thing, but she was strong. Fierce.” I sigh. “She was…she was like me.” Or maybe even better. Before she got caught in her lies.
“Like you how?” His eyes squint as they bore into the side of my head. I can see them out of the corner of my eye.
“Getting to that…”
“Sorry. I guess I’m just invested,” he blabbers. “Continue.”
“We were both alone. We had parents, but they weren’t around. We bonded. Became our own family of sorts.” I let out a breath. “We were there for each other.” I turn to look at him, thankful I chose such a dark place.
It allows me a modicum of safety. I don’t feel so vulnerable because a part of me is hidden in shadows. Just like he is.
“I know it sounds weird, but she was my best friend. A twelve-year-old, but she lived a life most couldn’t comprehend, and so had I. She’s the reason I’m a hockey player.”
He pulls his mouth off to the side, confusion evident. I can practically hear the questions rattling around in his head.
How could a girl be the reason you play?
“She loaned me the money to try out for juniors. My mom—well, she fucked things up for me, and Pip gave me a second chance…”
“Wow. A twelve-year-old girl gave you the money?” He whistles. “That’s…pretty cool, honestly.” He shakes his head. “Have I told you that I hate your fucking mom?”
I laugh because Dane looks like he would strangle her if she walked into the bar at this moment.
He’s a great friend. Someone I know I can trust with my secrets.
“What happened to her?” he asks, voice lowered as if it was the one question he was nervous to ask. “This Pip?”
“That’s something I’ve wondered for a long time,” I admit. “I never saw her again once I left. Or at least that’s what I thought until…”
“Oh boy…why do I get the feeling you’re about to drop a bomb?”
I take a deep breath. “She’s Cassidy. Cassidy is Pip.”
He whistles, nodding.
“It all makes sense now,” he says, and I narrow my eyes in on him. “This is why you jumped into a relationship in five minutes. I knew there was more to the story. You don’t go from swearing off relationships to in a serious relationship that quickly.”
Fuck.
More secrets. More lies.
How do I tell him this?
