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“I could use one about now. It’s been a long few days.”
I make a left and head toward Matteo’s.
Long few days is right.
But regardless of that, I still feel calmer than I have in years, and I know I have one person to thank for that. Two if you include Mike for bringing Cassidy into my life.
I don’t know what it is about her, but just her presence alone works better than a Xanax.
14
CASSIDY
Butterflies swarm my belly, making it hard to walk, but despite my apprehension, I square my shoulders and allow Aiden to guide me into the bar.
The air inside the large space appears hazy as my vision adjusts to the dim lights. The sound of laughter and the clinking of glasses echoes around me.
Despite the fact that I’ve met the guys already, I feel like the walls are closing in. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. I’m still shook from that run-in with that reporter. I imagine that guy was low-key in the grand scheme of professional sports, but it still rattled me. I can’t imagine how people dating football stars deal with it because if one local overzealous guy has me rattled, I’d never be able to handle a full swarm of paparazzi.
There is no preparing for that.
He places his hand on my lower back, leaning into my ear, and a shiver races up my spine.
“You okay?”
I nod, not sure my voice would work if I tried to speak.
This feels real. Too real.
Everything from the last few days is hitting me like a ton of bricks. It was nerve-wracking to go out with him in Birmingham, but at least I felt comfortable since I lived there. Now, in this new city, I feel like I’ve been thrown into the ocean without a life vest.
When I said yes to this crazy idea, I never considered what it would do to my psyche.
Being in his space.
Breathing the same air as him again.
I’m not prepared.
Not at all.
Being this close to him…
It brings everything back.
Today alone, the memories have been overwhelming. They’ve pounded at my brain, threatening to destroy the life I’ve made for myself.
I’ve moved on from my past. Made a life—even if it’s not much, it’s mine.
Can I really risk going back there?
I take a deep breath and look at the room around me.
Something I can see: The bar.
Something I can smell: The unmistakable fragrance of body odor.
Something I can taste: Nope. Nothing. But it doesn’t matter, the trick worked.
