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“Thank you for taking care of him,” I said before I left the room.
“It will be about an hour or more. Try to get some food or coffee, hon.” The nurse gave me a kind smile.
I nodded, then stepped into the hall, my heels echoing off the walls as I headed back to the waiting room.
“How is he?” Mom asked, rushing over to us. Her eyes, usually so full of life, were rimmed with red and shadowed with fatigue. They darted around restlessly, scanning Cami and me for any signs of hope, or perhaps bracing for the bad news.
“Sleeping.” I threw my arms around her, hugging her tightly. “He went in for tests a few hours ago, and he’s been sleeping since then. I’ve checked on him several times but wanted to be here when you arrived. Thanks for texting and letting me know when you landed.”
“Of course.” She turned and hugged Cami. “Thank you for being here.”
“Always. I love you guys.”
Mom’s hand trembled as she smoothed her hair. She’d been dying it her original color since she was forty, and the beginnings of grey wisps peeked through the jet-black strands. I got my green eyes from Dad and my hair from Mom.
I was lucky. My parents were both loving, compassionate, and intelligent people.
“Let me take you to his room, Mom. He’ll be happy to see you when he wakes up.”
“That would be good. I want to be in the room waiting for the doctor when the results come back.” Mom hugged Cami again. “I’ll see you in a while.”
Slipping my arm around Mom, I steered us toward Dad’s room. When we arrived, the door was wide open, and the doctor stood beside his bed. He glanced up as we joined them.
“Hi, baby.” Mom kissed Dad’s cheek, and his face lit up.
“You must be Mrs. McCloud. I’m Dr. Coppinger. I was just about to give your husband his test results.”
“We’re just in time, then,” I said from behind Mom.
Dr. Coppinger folded his hands in front of him, expression full of compassion.
Shit. This wasn’t good. I gripped the back of the chair and attempted to steady myself for the blow.
“I understand that you’re in a trial treatment for your cancer, Mr. McCloud.”
“Yes. Please call me Alexander.”
“Got it. Alexander.” A kind smile eased across his face. “In these situations, there are always greater downsides than a tried-and-true treatment. I’m afraid that the trial will have to come to an end. If we continue, you risk heart damage. I know this is incredibly difficult to hear, and I’m so sorry.”
I shook my head, refusing the doctor’s words. My jaw clenched as I struggled to formulate my thoughts. “If he’s not on it, his cancer will kill him.”
“I understand, but there’s nothing else we can do. If you have a nurse, then I can send your father home and keep him comfortable for as long as needed.”
“You mean until he dies?” My pitch rose with my question while Mom’s muffled cries filled the room.
“Spend time with him and try to make some lasting memories. It will help the difficult process. I can also offer a counselor to help process the grief.”
My hands clenched and unclenched, anger roaring to life inside the pit of my belly. We’d worked so hard to get him in the trial. I’d talked to a multitude of doctors to get Dad the best care. How could our last hope be gone in a fleeting second?
“Shouldn’t the decision be his choice? Have you even looked at other options, or are you just giving up on my dad?” I gritted my teeth, tears spilling down my cheeks as the grief twisted my me into knots.
“Honey, we can look into this some more. Find another way,” Mom said, consoling the both of us.
“I reviewed his charts after the tests results came back. There aren’t any additional trials he would qualify for. I understand your pain, but I’ve truly done everything I can. So have the other medical professionals who have worked with him. I’ll be around tomorrow if you have questions.”
He nodded and left the room, leaving me with the earth-shattering truth that my dad was on limited time.
My cell chimed in my clutch, and I retrieved it.
