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But what she doesn’t realize is that her walls won’t keep me out for long. I want to break her down piece by piece before I put her back together again. I want her fractured soul and her broken heart, and I want her to give them to me of her own free will. Then I can watch her rise like the goddamn warrior she is and stand by her side until the end of my fucking days. But all she understands is cruelty and pain. They’re the only things she’ll accept from me, so what choice do I have but to give her what she craves? Because if she’s the spirit of violent death, I will spend the rest of my fucking life dying for her.
Chapter
Thirty-Nine
KERES
Holding onto Ace’s waist as he drives us away from the pale blue house in Jackson, I feel a familiar, if annoying, comfort in the warmth of his solid body against mine.
I still feel numb after learning about and seeing my mom’s grave. I have so many questions, so many emotions to process, but I can’t afford to give any of that space in my brain right now. I have to focus on finding Theo, then maybe I can take time to process everything else. Right now it feels like Pandora’s box, and I know that once I open the lid I’m likely to unleash my own personal hell and I might never escape it.
Ace taps my thigh to signal he’s about to speed up, and I grip him tighter. We reach the freeway, and he kicks the bike up a few gears until we’re racing down the open road at full throttle. I lean into him and focus on the sensation of wind whipping my clothes against my body, relishing the thrill of adrenaline as he takes the bike to its top speed. I try to forget that I just showed Ace and Romeo the ugliest, most secret pieces of myself.
They’ll never look at me the same again now that they know I’m damaged. Broken. No longer a woman, only a victim. And I hate that more than I should. Why do I care what they think of me? In a few days this will all be over, and we’ll never see each other again. That thought slices a fresh welt across my heart. I try in vain to convince myself that this new grief has nothing to do with how much I care for them and everything to do with how vulnerable I feel right now.
Romeo checked us into a motel and went to get dinner, leaving Ace and me alone in the room. A room with only one bed. I’ve given up complaining about the fact that there only ever seem to be rooms with one bed available and accept that it’s one of the ways they can continue to annoy me.
Sitting on the lone bed, I flex my hand and wince at the burning pain that lances up my forearm. With a sigh, Ace plops down beside me and grabs my arm, his fingers gripping my skin above my bandage. I try to yank free, but he holds me tighter. “Just let me take a look, will you?”
He tugs me closer until my knee is resting on his thigh. The close proximity of his body makes heat pool in my core. I swallow hard. “Fine.”
Carefully, he unwraps the bandage around my wrist and inspects the wound before running the pad of his index finger over my stitches. Warmth snakes beneath my skin where his touch lingers. “It looks okay.”
“I know,” I huff.
He lifts his head, and his dark eyes meet mine. “I only want to make sure it’s not infected, Trouble. Don’t want your arm turning green and falling off before we find Theo, now do we?” He glides two fingers up my forearm, making goosebumps prickle out all over my skin. His lips twitch in a smirk. “Doesn’t mean I care.”
“I already know how much you don’t care,” I blurt and feel annoyed with myself for showing any emotion.
He gives me a snarky laugh in return and starts wrapping a fresh bandage around my wrist.
“What?” I snap.
He doesn’t meet my eyes again while he finishes wrapping the fresh bandage. “Nothing.”
I wrench my wrist from his grip. “What, Ace?”
He inhales a deep breath through his nose that seems to vibrate through his entire body. When he lifts his head, the fiery look in his eyes makes my toes curl in my shoes, and not in an unpleasant way. “You think you have this perfect mask in place, Keres. That nobody sees the real you, but I see you.” His eyes narrow. “I see what you are. What you want. What you need.”
I snort a laugh. “You think?”
“I know.” He trails his fingertips along my cheekbone, making me shiver. “As tough as you are, you’re looking for the same as the rest of us. Someone to love you. Someone to care.”
Tears blind me, and my top lip curls into a sneer. “You think I want you to care for me, Ace? Love me?” My tone drips with disdain as I try to wriggle away, but I’m pinned in place by his gaze. His words seep into my soul, carving out the deep-rooted truths I’ve tried to hide most of my life.
His eyes flash with something else. Desire, longing, animal attraction? He licks his lips, and I swear I feel his tongue snaking its way up my thighs. Before I can take another breath, I’m pinned between his hard body and the thin mattress. He runs his nose along my jawline, inhaling my scent like an animal sniffs its prey before devouring them. “No. But you want me to fuck you though, right?” He grinds his hips against mine, letting me feel every inch of his solid length against that aching spot between my thighs. “I remember how wet you get for me, Trouble. If I slid my fingers into your cunt right now, she’d be dripping for me.” He laughs darkly.
I snarl. “I’d rather fuck my toothbrush before I fucked you.” Liar.
He glares at me, his jaw ticking and the vein in his temple throbbing. His warm breath dusts over my cheek, and I shiver at the memories his mouth evokes. “So why are you spreading your pretty legs for me like a whore?” he asks with a low growl.
Dammit. He’s right. As soon as he pinned me, my legs parted to accommodate him, like they were no longer connected to my brain but instead taking orders directly from my neglected lady parts. The parts of me that no man apart from him and Romeo have ever made feel quite so good. It makes me hate him even more.
“And why is this spot on your neck”—he runs his tongue over the pulse on my throat where my blood hammers against my skin and I moan—“fluttering like a butterfly’s wings if it’s not because you want me inside you just as much as I want to be there?”
Sweet Aphrodite. I take a deep breath. “You do?”
He arches an eyebrow. “You think my cock is this hard because I don’t want you?”
