AllFreeNovel
Share Us
"Who knows what he was thinking? He had to put some kind of positive spin on it. He hates the idea of people thinking badly of him."
"If he doesn't want people thinking badly of him, he should treat them better," he grumbled.
"Amen."
"I swear if I ever meet him in person I'm going to kick him in the balls so hard he's going to choke on them."
"I'd like to see that," she said, snuggling closer as his arms tightened around her.
"I'm so sorry you had to go through that. Losing the baby must have been awful."
"I try to tell myself that it was for the best, because if we'd had a baby I would have been tied to him forever, like Liam is to Kristie and Sarah is to her ex. But I wanted a baby so much..." She broke down then as the loss hit her, the pain as fresh and sharp as the day it happened.
JT held her through it all, murmuring soft words of comfort against her hair, rubbing his hands up and down her back.
"I got your shirt all wet," she said finally, and accepted another handful of napkins from him.
"I don't mind," he said and kissed her softly on her mouth.
She shifted off his lap and back onto her stool, but still kept hold of his hand. "So, do you understand now? Why the idea of trusting someone like that again, being vulnerable like that again... I just don't think I can do it."
His heart felt bruised in his chest as he reached out to tuck a lock of hair behind her ear. He gazed at her face. Even red-nosed and puffy-eyed from crying, she was so beautiful he could hardly stand it. "Of course I understand. It's been what, not quite a year since that all happened? Of course you're scared. But you're an amazing woman and you deserve to have someone who loves you. You deserve to be a mother. You deserve to have all your dreams come true. You can't let him take that all away from you."
JT wished Gregory were there right now so he could smash his fists into his face. No one deserved to go through what she’d gone through. And that he’d left her hurting so much she didn’t think she’d ever be able to love again…
That asshole had already taken so much from her. Was she really going to let him take away her future?
Their future?
"That's the thing, though—I don't even know if those are my dreams anymore. Now that I've lived the reality. Besides, there's a strong possibility I can't even have kids. Anyone I get involved with would have to take that risk, and who wants to do that?"
JT mentally raised his hand. He would happily take the risk for her. He would take any risk. Because no matter how he warned himself to take things slow, not get ahead of himself, he was pretty sure he was falling in love with her.
He didn't care that she was still raw with grief and unable to trust she could be happy again one day. He didn't care that she might not be able to have kids. All he cared about was being with her, and showing her that it was still possible for her to have everything she always wanted.
She cleared her throat. "So, I'm guessing you probably want to nip this in the bud right now, since we're not even close to being on the same page."
He leaned in and kissed her softly on the lips. "I don't want to nip anything unless it's attached to you."
She laughed softly. "I'm being serious."
"So am I," he said. "I'm glad you were honest with me. And I was honest too. I'm not in any rush, and I'm not going to put pressure on you. I just like spending time with you." Which was the understatement of the century, but in the spirit of not putting any pressure on her...
"I like spending time with you, too," she said with a little smile.
He stood up, clasped her hand in his and urged her off her bar stool. He threaded his fingers through her hair, tipped her head back, and kissed her deep and slow. "Right now, that's good enough for me."
Chapter 15
Her lips parted against his and she felt the familiar rush of warmth at his touch. Still, as his tongue slid between her lips, she couldn't muster up her usual enthusiasm. There were too many memories, too many emotions, all stirred up like silt at the bottom of a pond, leaving everything cloudy.
"I imagine you're pretty wrung out," he said, as though reading her mind. He lifted his mouth from hers and held her so his chin rested on top of her head. "Guessing you're not in the mood for our usual antics."
She sighed and wrapped her arms around his waist. "I'm sorry, please don't take it personally." Her arms tightened around him and she burrowed her head into his chest. As much as she wasn't in the mood for their "usual antics," as he called them, she didn't want to leave. Didn't want to let go of his solid, warm body that offered so much comfort even in the face of her painful memories.
“Really? After spending the last forty-five minutes crying on my shoulder telling me about some of the most painful things you've ever gone through, you’re not super horny?”
Colleen let out a laugh. It still startled her when JT's sharp sense of humor bubbled to the surface.
