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She could see his point. Over the years, her mother and, to a lesser extent, her brother, had kept her up to date on the goings on in her hometown. However, the last year and change had been an exception. "I guess we were too caught up in Dad's cancer and my divorce to talk about your love life," she said. "But even so, I find it weird that your engagement has never come up between us. I mean, we've talked a lot, and I've certainly talked a lot about my past, and my last relationship."
"I know, but I've also asked you about what happened with Gregory. But you haven't asked me much about me and my past."
Her stomach sank and she knew he was right. It wasn't a conscious decision, but she realized now she'd done it on purpose, because knowing more about him and his life and what he'd been through since high school wasn't supposed to matter. He was only supposed to be a means of getting sexual gratification and proving she was still desirable.
"I'm a selfish asshole." Her shoulders slumped and she fell back against the cushions.
He laughed softly as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. This time she didn't resist, and let herself melt against his solid warmth. "You're not an asshole. You just got put through the ringer and it's going to take a lot for you to get over it. And if talking to me about what happened with Gregory helps, then I'm happy to do it."
Not for the first time, she wondered if JT could possibly be for real. Hot, funny, great in the sack, and kind and supportive of her hot mess of a self?
Maybe unicorns did exist.
"And you don't need to do anything to get over her?"
His muscles shifted under the soft cotton of his T-shirt as he shrugged. "Honestly, no. I mean, part of the reason she never came up is that I don't really even think about her that much anymore."
She pulled away and frowned up at him. "You loved a woman enough to want to spend the rest of your life with her, and then she dumped you. How can you be so over it after just six months that you barely even think about her?"
"It was rough at first, I'm not going to lie. I thought I'd finally found a woman I could settle down, raise a family with. I spent my fair share of nights railing against her, against my family for being pains in the asses and all the ways they butted in and, in my mind, drove her away. Against love in general for what a crock it turned out to be. I commiserated with your brother over too much whiskey about the cold heartedness of women in general—"
"And danced shirtless on bars."
"And danced shirtless on bars." He grinned and slid his arm around her shoulders. "Don't knock it. I made a hundred bucks that night from ladies stuffing cash into the waistband of my jeans." Ice rattled as he took a sip of his drink. "But, pretty quickly, I realized that what hurt wasn't losing Melanie, exactly. It was losing the future I thought I would have with her, if that makes sense."
"It totally makes sense. That's been one of the hardest things about my divorce and everything else, is letting go of that idea of what I thought I was going to have. Not to mention the idea of what I thought I had."
"Don't get me wrong," JT continued, "she's a great girl, but she was never going to be happy out here. She grew up in San Francisco and came out here as a guest with her family. I think she thought it was going to be like it is in summer all year round. Lots of people, lots of things to do. I knew she wasn't happy that first winter she spent out here."
"So why did you get engaged?"
"Because I decided it was time to get married and start a family, and I was panicking about the prospects here in Big Timber. I mean, it's not like it's teeming with single women between the ages of twenty-five and thirty-five. I met Melanie, and we had this great connection, and I got really attached to the idea that she was my only shot at the future I wanted. And I ignored all the signs that we didn't really want the same things in life. Now I'm just happy she realized it and did something about it before we got married and had kids together."
"Do you still keep in touch?"
"Not much, but she and Paulina still email every once in a while—they got pretty close. I heard she's got a new boyfriend who's an investment banker or something. Good for her. I'm sure he's a better match for her than I could ever be. Not everyone is cut out for small town life, much less ranch life."
"That's so enlightened of you."
"I don't know about that, but I guess I realized it doesn't work to force someone to play a role in your life they weren't meant to play. And you never know, I might still find a nice local girl who's happy to live the simple life with me." He gave her shoulders a little squeeze.
At that moment, Colleen couldn't think of anything better.
And to her utter shock, the thought didn't fill her with terror.
Chapter 17
At nearly six feet tall, and with a waist-length mane of thick blond hair, Sarah Blake always stood out in a crowd. So Colleen had no trouble spotting her as she waited by the single baggage carousel at the Billings airport.
Her eight-year-old son, Aidan, spotted Colleen first. He broke out in a gap-toothed smile and waved at her as he tugged on his mother's arm.
"Hey buddy." Colleen pulled him into a hug and ruffled his light brown mop of curls.
She turned to Sarah, who hugged her so tight it squeezed the breath out of her. Among her many fine attributes, Sarah was an excellent hugger. "Oh, my God, it's so good see you," Sarah said as she squeezed.
Colleen returned the hug with equal enthusiasm. "I'm so happy you're here!"
"So are we," Sarah released her and stepped back. She surveyed Colleen up and down. "You look fantastic. Obviously being back home agrees with you," she teasingly raised a perfectly shaped brow.
