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Everything spins.
Chapter Forty-Six
Cole
“Are you sure this is what you want to do?” Chief Monroe eyes me from across the desk with hands tented on the hard surface. Even though there’s a deep furrow in his brow, the expression is not angry, merely a fatherly concern. I shouldn’t have expected anything different.
“Yes, I’m positive. Harbor’s career is in San Francisco, and I can fight fires anywhere. It’s not a big deal. The only thing that is important is that I love Harbor and want a life with her that’s more than a couple of days a week.”
He nods, slowly unfolds his hands, and leans back into his chair, causing a squeaking sound. “I understand, and I admire your decision. Putting your family first is the most important thing in the world.” He grabs a sticky note with scratched numbers and letters on it. “Now, tell me the name of the Chief again.”
The door bursts open, smacking against the wall, and jumps back toward Kameron, hitting him in the arm. “Cole, we need to go. Layla called and said Harbor was in an accident. She’s headed to the hospital.”
My mind goes blank as blood rushes to my ears. The only sound is the thump, thump, thump of my heartbeat and Chief Monroe’s chair crashing against the wall behind him. “Take off. I’ll get coverage. Just go.”
“I….” I swallow hard and try to make sense of the words. My worst fear has come true. She’s hurt, and it’s my fault. My hands shake, but I don’t move. Can’t move. As our future flashes before my eyes. Our wedding. Our first child’s birth. The presents from the first Christmas. The–
“Come on.” Kameron grabs my arm and yanks. I stumble behind him as if I’ve forgotten how to walk. “I don’t know how she is, but Layla will call as soon as she finds out something.”
“Put the siren on. I know it’s against protocol but do it.” Chief Monroe shoves me from behind and gets my feet moving, one after the other, toward the door. Step. Step. Step. Like my heartbeat, the sounds keep coming. But that’s it. What if she doesn’t make it. Bile rises in my throat as tears sting my eyes. What if–
“Cole!” Kameron barks and yanks the door open. “She was awake enough to tell them to call Layla after notifying her parents rather than you. She’s aware enough that you’re at work and doesn’t want to bother you.”
“Or blames me for driving back at this hour. It’s my fault she was late. Fuck. It’s my fault she was here in the first place.” The bright sunshine blinds my eyes, causing me to shield them with my hand. “If I wouldn’t have begged her to come visit this weekend, she’d have been safely back in San Francisco and in her office.”
“Don’t be stupid.” He speedwalks to his lifted pickup as I veer toward my pickup. “Get in. I’m driving. You can’t even walk, let alone drive. And stop with the bullshit. She loves you as much as you love her. There’s no way you had to beg her to come visit.”
“I should have already moved there.”
“Again….” He stops on the driver’s side and gives me a ‘you’re being stupid’ look. “You just started dating, and even by most people’s standards, your decision to change jobs and move 2 ½ hours away from everyone you know this soon is above-expected behavior in a relationship.”
I begrudgingly join him in the pickup and lean against the door as he drives. The flashing blue light on the dash gives us precedence over the other vehicles on the road, so we fly through town and hit the interstate in seconds.
It doesn’t matter if what he said is logical and responsible. I still feel guilt deep in my core. No matter what he says, it’s my fault. If I had gone to her college graduation party and told her how I felt, none of this would’ve happened. If I had the balls four years ago at her high school graduation, we’d be married with a kid by now, and she’d have stayed home and not traipsed off to the city to get her degree.
What if–
I shut my brain off and count the mile marker posts. One-tenth of a mile. Two-tenths of a mile. Three. The counting and the hum of the tires on the pavement and the rumble of the muffler keep me from losing my shit.
Two hours and ten minutes later, Kameron slides to a stop in front of the emergency room doors, and I fall out, barely catching myself before eating the cement sidewalk.
“I’ll see you in a bit.”
“Yeah.” My entire body is shaking. I’d called Layla ten times on the way, desperate for an answer, and nothing. I even called Alice’s number, not expecting her to answer. And she didn’t.
The receptionist glances up from the computer screen after fumbling my way inside the ER. Her eyebrows shoot up, and she half stands and half leans forward while opening the sliding window. “Can I help you?”
“Yes, at least I hope so. I’m Harbor Slater’s boyfriend, Cole Thornburg.”
“Oh.” She drops back down into the seat. “Let me see.” The window slides shut. You’ve got to be kidding me. I’m stuck out here, waiting with six other people with only a thin piece of glass separating me from Harbor.
I rake my hand through my hair. Fuck it. I knock on the window. I hate the smell of hospitals. At least it’s better than nursing homes. Or funeral homes. I about drop to my knees at the thought.
The woman’s eyes narrow as she reopens the window. “Is anyone else here for Ms. Slater?”
“No.” She snaps the window shut.
Son of a bitch. I pace three steps to the left and turn back, marching the same three steps back to where I started. I repeatedly wear out the path while mentally squeezing the woman’s head until her eyes bulge out.
