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I just nodded as the guards crowded me a little tighter.
Victor pressed play.
And I laughed as our little video journey went full circle and returned to the library.
I knew my fate before a single word was spoken.
I had Ily shoved against the bookcases, glowering at her as if I wanted to eat her alive.
Audio crackled.
Static and scuffling.
Ily gasped as my fingers dug into her hips, and my life ended in her perfectly clear, horribly condemning whisper, “—undercover.” Unintelligible whispering. “…mixed signals.” Unrecognisable murmurings. “…meant to come? …sent…to…jewels? Y-You’re a cop?”
Chairs slammed back against the deck as men all shot to their feet. Some started toward me, fury on monstrous faces.
The guards tightened ranks.
Guns were pulled out of holsters.
The slaves behind me broke out in urgent whispers.
Ily’s horrified gasp clutched at the back of my neck, but I only had eyes for Victor.
I never looked away from him as he rewound and replayed the sound bite.
“—undercover.” Unintelligible whispering. “…mixed signals.” Unrecognisable murmurings. “…meant to come? …sent…to…jewels? Y-You’re a cop?”
Only once Ily’s shocked but hopeful voice faded into the morning sunlight did he stop the video and lean back.
He didn’t speak.
Didn’t have to.
Two guards marched toward me and pressed two guns against my temples.
I went cold inside.
Mercifully, exquisitely cold.
How fucking tragic that today was the first day of my life that I learned to live. That food finally tasted sweet, and my senses finally knew joy.
So short-lived.
Twenty-nine years of struggle and for what?
Such a goddamn waste.
I wished I’d embraced my darkness a decade ago.
At least I would’ve lived.
I waited for it to end.
For the pop of a trigger and then nothing.
But…time dragged on, screeching, stretching.
My heart picked up the longer they didn’t kill me.
I bristled and wished they’d get it fucking over with.
Least I could rest then.
Rest just like I’d predicted.
Alone. Always alone.
Guests shouted at Victor to give the order.
Ily said something that was lost in the mutterings of other jewels.
My world drew to a pinprick of just Victor.
Waiting…
Waiting…
“Any last words, Henri Ward?” Propping his elbow on the table, he ran his finger over his bottom lip. “Any words for your superior officer? Want to tell me what police force you work for? How long you’ve been undercover? If there’s any more of you disgusting little rats trying to gnaw their way into my paradise?”
The guard on my left shifted, pressing the muzzle of his gun harder into my skull.
Victor sighed heavily as if it genuinely pained him to do this. “You know, Henri…you’re the first to fool me. I have a knack, you see. A gift at seeing predators where others only see men. And you…you are a predator. I see it even now. Maybe that’s why you were chosen for this assignment. Maybe your captain saw that in you and decided to throw you into our den…or perhaps you’re the best fucking actor I’ve ever seen, and I should present you with an award. Either way, the fact remains…you lied—”
“I didn’t lie.” I growled. “Not to you anyway.” I shrugged. “At least…not about everything.”
“Kill the snitch, Vic. Blow his fucking brains out.” A guest I hadn’t spoken to sidled up to Victor. “I’ll do it. Always wanted to know what it felt like to shoot someone point blank.”
Victor held up his hand, stilling the guards and their shaking arms from the weight of outstretched guns. “Patience, everyone. He’s dead. But…I do have a certain fondness for him, and so…I’ll let you speak, mon ami. One last time.”
One last time.
Those words echoed in my empty mind.
One last time to breathe.
To exist.
What I’d fucking give to have one last sip of Ily’s blood and one last taste of being inside her.
The icy stillness inside me solidified into a glacier. Everything began to sparkle as frost and icicles formed.
What would I give?
Honestly? Truly?
I’d give fucking everything.
Just like I’d been willing to give everything to a brother I didn’t know and a girl I’d only just met. I’d spent my entire life trying to live according to others, but here and now…I had to make the choice to live for me.
And the only way to do that…
I chuckled as realisation struck me like a fist.
Fuck.
I had to let Ward die.
Had to turn my back on everyone and everything.
Transform into who I’d always been.
Without any life raft to go back.
Stepping out of the guards’ imprisonment, I didn’t stop marching until I grabbed a chair opposite Victor and sat down. The guards trailed me, unsure what to do.
“You gonna let him get away with this, Vic? Shoot the cunt,” a guest shouted.
“Don’t!” Ily screamed.
“Do it.” Another guest.
But Victor didn’t say a word or order my execution, so I smiled and not only became an open book, I wrenched out every sin and secret and prepared to dump them on the plate in front of him.
“I’m not a cop.”
