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“Wow, you poor, deluded fool.” She shook her head, her eyes narrowed and nasty.
I reared back, instantly on the defensive. “What was that for?”
Tears sparkled in her stare, but they didn’t fall. “Do you truly think others won’t fuck me? Won’t abuse me? What about the day you grow bored of me, huh? Bored of cutting me and bruising me and move on to another pitiful jewel? Do you honestly think we’re in some sort of relationship? God!” She threw her hands at the sky. “You’re crazy. I knew it. You’re—” Her wild gaze fell to my upper thigh where my scar hid beneath black boxers. All her fury seemed to snuff out. “I take that back. No one should be called crazy. If Krish were here, he’d tell me how wrong I am to judge you. How I’m in no position to…” Her lips twisted as her eyes flickered with shame. “Y-You tried to kill yourself.”
I froze.
The change of subject threw me, but I nodded slowly. “I did.”
“Why?”
“Because I hurt someone against my will. Because I couldn’t live with the pain of what I am.”
She sniffed sadly. “Yet you’re okay with hurting me?”
I couldn’t hide my wince.
“Know what I think your greatest weakness is, Master H?” She shifted to her knees, her fury returning. “I think it’s love. I think you’ve wanted it for so long, you’ve forgotten what it truly means. Or maybe you never really knew. Either way, I think you believe that this”— she waved between us —“could somehow become love…if you stay faithful and guard me from other bad men. You’re ignoring the fact that you’ve destroyed my life, stolen me from my home, and collared me to you. You think by buying my body, you’ve bought my heart and soul, but the truth is…” She sighed and put her hand on my knee as if, even now, her sweetness and compassion didn’t want to hurt me. “The truth is that you will never be able to buy those. You will never be able to make me love you. You will never call me your wife because the only thing that we are is…enemies.”
I deserved that.
I did.
Yet I wasn’t prepared for the dagger stabbing through my ribs and puncturing everything vital inside me.
I grunted as if her words had the power to slaughter all the newness inside me—all the welcoming darkness—and shove me back into a loveless, lonely existence.
I might have feelings for her.
I might want to keep her.
I might hurt her and fuck her and have deep, dark urges.
But under no fucking circumstances would I let her ruin my one chance at happiness.
In the distance, a man strolled toward us. Suave and confident, long-legged and lean.
Victor.
Shit.
Rising from the grass, I sat back on the lounger and judged his stride. I guessed we had a couple of minutes before he arrived. A few more moments to talk freely before he reproached me on my behaviour.
I didn’t care that cameras probably eavesdropped and recorded us from the battlements. I wasn’t embarrassed for being honest. I didn’t care because I was past caring. But I did have something to say. Something Ily needed to hear.
“I appreciate you letting me know how you feel, so…allow me the same courtesy.” Pinching the bridge of my nose, I gathered my thoughts before dropping my hand and looking up. “Regardless of how you feel about me, the truth remains that I feel strongly for you. You’re right that I don’t know what love feels like. I’ve never been given it. No one seems to want it when I try to offer it. So perhaps I’m doing it all wrong.” I looked at my hands. “All I know is, I’m free in this place. Free on an island, locked in a fortress, when out there, in that loveless cold-hearted world, I was afraid, alone, and dying. The night I saw you was the first time in my life that I felt something in here.” I punched my chest. “I felt it as cleanly and as viciously as if you’d reached into my chest and signed your name on my heart. I don’t care if you don’t believe me. I don’t care if you think my version of love is toxic and wrong. I’m not even saying it is love. All I’m saying is…I want you. I want to keep you. And I want you to play along with me.”
Silence fell.
Victor came ever closer.
Ily shook her head, digesting what I said. Finally, she choked, “Even now? Even after everything you’ve done to me, you’re still asking me to play along with you?” Rage painted her cheeks bright red. “Are you deliberately trying to be cruel, or are you just that fucking clueless?”
“You played along so well with me before. It was us versus them. We were a team…a partnership.”
