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“Are you deliberately ignoring me?”
“I have bigger things on my mind right now.”
“Bigger than escape?”
“Yes, actually.” His fury matched mine, both of us raging and taking it out on each other instead of those who deserved it. “If I don’t find that gem then someone is going to die. And right now, all I’ve fucking found is a goddamn cheeseburger chit!”
“Wait, what?”
He huffed with a morose slouch. “Someone will die, Ily. Someone is going to die if I don’t find that Diamond Kiss.” Shooting forward, he snagged my hand. “Come on. He might have hidden it in the maze.”
Pulling against him, I stopped him from breaking into a run. “We’ll find it. I promise. I’ll help you look, I swear. But…this might be our only chance to talk.” I pointed at the cascading sky. “The storm is muting us. If there’s cameras out here, they can’t hear us.” I squeezed his hand. “We have to make a plan, Peter. You know that, right? We have to get out of here…before it’s too late.”
His eyes bugged. “Wh-What are you saying?”
“I’m saying you heard what Henri told me. I stupidly thought he was a cop. I went along with him because I thought he would save us.”
His entire body tensed. “Oh yes, I heard alright. We all did. We heard that bastard admit that he used words to bind you into obedience. It all makes sense now why you didn’t just tolerate what he did to you but seemed morbidly grateful. You acted as if he was your friend, and that? Fuck, until the moment you kicked him in Victor’s trophy room, I actually feared you were touched in the head.”
“I know how it must’ve looked.”
“No, I don’t think you do.” He sighed sadly. “You let a part of yourself fall for him. Fall for a lie, and now that part is at his mercy because you can’t take it back. He owns a piece of you. And that’s why you’re so desperate to run. It’s not because you’re finally seeing that there’s no such thing as rescue but because you know in yourself that you’re already his and your freedom ended the moment he used kindness to kill you.”
I stumbled backward. “You look as if you blame me for that.”
“No. I pity you.” He swiped at rain rolling down his neck. Lightning shone, jagged and silver, followed by its clashing, booming mate.
With another heavy exhale, he stepped into me and wrapped me tight in his cold, wet arms. “What he did to you—the lie that he’d save you? That has to be one of the most fiendishly cruel things I’ve ever come across.”
A watery laugh spilled from me, soaking into his damp shoulder. “If you can say that after enduring this hellhole for so long…? God, I-I find that totally terrifying.”
“Me too.” He squeezed me tighter. “But there’s a difference between physical warfare and psychological. Most Masters that come here focus only on flesh, but him? He seems particularly skilled at messing with your mind.”
Ain’t that the damn truth.
I sagged in his embrace. “He definitely gets under my skin.”
“Please, please don’t let him get any deeper.”
Rain fell on the top of our heads.
Echoes of what Henri told me when we first arrived repeated in the droplets splashing around us: “Every thread is breaking. Every decency is fading. And I have to say…death might be worth the price of letting go.”
Death.
He’d turned his back on all the good pieces of himself. He’d chosen death and the sick, sadistic journey toward it.
So…why shouldn’t I join him?
Why should I keep my morals when those very morals got me into this mess?
Anger trickled through me as I tugged away from Peter’s arms.
I gave him a sad little shrug. “Seems I stupidly fell for your fantasy of someone coming to save us. I believed in him.”
He winced. “And that’s what eats me up. When I saw the video of you guys in the library, I believed it myself for a second. I believed he was a cop and here for us. Fuck, I wasn’t prepared for how it made me feel. Such hope, Ily. Such agonising, demoralising hope. It tore through me before I could stop it. And you? You hoped for far longer than me, so I can only imagine what it’s done to you. I’m sorry. So, so sorry he manipulated you.”
My cheeks grew hot. “If anyone deserves an apology, it’s you. Have you not seen your back? Good grief, Peter, it’s—”
“Sore but survivable.” He forced a smile. “Like I just said…body abuse is one thing, but mental abuse? Dangling hope in front of you? Making you consent to what he did to you?” He shook his head. “I told you he’s one of the worst, and you didn’t believe me. But you believe me now. I know you do. And I get why you think tonight would be a good night to form an army and go to war. But—”
