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Raphael huffs as he reaches forward and drags me against him. I swallow nervously, knowing that any lingering employees will see this and make the connection. I’m no longer the kid that brings the big boss coffee. I’m his lover. He places his hands on my hips, squeezing softly and my back arches toward him in response. My hands fall to his chest as I look up at him, uncertainty flitting through his expression.
“I want to do this right, Atlas. I want you but I need your help to tell me when you’re uncomfortable. I also need your help to tell me when you need something. I won’t let you go without.” Raphael tilts his head to the side and I can hear the truth in his words. I don’t like the idea that he wants to placate my problems with money, though.
“I can buy my own stuff.” I spit out, struggling in his grip. His fingers dig in tighter, those hazel eyes darkening as I realize I’ve misunderstood.
“And that’s not what I’m saying, Atlas. I’m saying that you’re mine. That I want to care for you and love you.” This isn’t the first time he’s mentioned loving me in passing. It’s not a full confession so I’ve never dwelled on it. I want to wrap myself in his words but I need him to understand that his wealth isn’t the reason I’m here and I want to make it very clear to everyone else as well.
I lightly tap his chest and he releases me so that I can say my words without falling victim to his touch. Reaching his eyes is still a chore as I’m that much shorter than him but this is the best I’ve got in the parking lot. Letting out a deep breath, I start in on my spiel, hoping that Raphael will truly listen to my insecurities and my needs without making me feel bad about them. “I need you not to treat me like I'm incapable. I need you to love without smothering. I see the lavish parties and Christmas gifts you get the office. I don’t want that.” The regular employees of the tech company walk away with gifts that most people spend months saving up for.
Not to mention the vacations and other items that the company readily hands out. Our café isn’t exempt either, what with the large gift baskets and gift cards we’re all given the week before Christmas. I’m not ashamed to say that I’ve used one to buy groceries but it’s the principle of the thing. I don’t want handouts. I don’t want to be treated like a trophy. I don’t want to be the man on his arm who’s only here to escape from the struggles I’ve found myself in.
Raphael sags against my car, seemingly defeated. “And how do I do that for you, Atlas? I want to give you the entire world.” I’m not opposed to that… just within reason.
I fumble for the right words, wanting to end this conversation and needing to see it through all the same. I want to go back to spouting stupid animal facts and watching Raphael lose his control but this needs to happen. If Raphael thinks we aren’t worth it because of these next words, so be it. “Just don’t make me feel like I couldn’t do it on my own. There’s been hiccups but don’t make me feel cheap. I’m not here for your money. I’m here for you.”
His brows raise in shock at the statements I’ve just laid out. I’m sure there are very few people that speak to him like that. Raphael runs a hand through his hair, a hairstyle mirroring yesterday’s without all of the product. “Money has been a crutch for so long that I forget it can’t fix everything. I don’t want to cheapen you. What will fix this?”
My face scrunches up at the way Raphael so beautifully falls apart, thinking that he’s broken this. “Nothing is broken, Raphael. I just don’t want to be treated like a trophy that needs to be shined. I’m weird and awkward. I’m Atlas Stoll, not gold on your shelf.”
Raphael chuckles at my insistence as he draws me back into his arms. “I’ll remember that, little one.” This time when I melt against his chest, Raphael’s lips connecting with mine, there’s no hesitation. For the first time since my mother passed away, someone has heard me and not pushed me away. They’ve seen me in my entirety, the shame and embarrassment I carry with me, the struggles I face, and they’ve brought me into their arms and told me that they want me.
Raphael wants Atlas—all of him. Flaws and all.
I’ve been in love with this man since I first met him.
Today is one of the first times I’m thinking about forever.
Chapter 10
ATLAS
Another restful night in Raphael’s arms is perpetuating the idea of a forever I want to fall into. My anxiety was still at an all-time high, Raphael laughing as I recited several facts until he told me to sleep or he’d sit me in the guest room. That shut me up real quick as I snuggled into his chest and closed my eyes. Spending time with him without sex has shown me a completely different side of him. He’s generous and sweet and there’s a certain smile that spreads across his face when he’s truly relaxed.
I slide out of bed and run to the adjoined bathroom to wash up before finding my way downstairs in search of food. Raphael is a deep sleeper—I’ve come to find out—but I’m not leaving this time.
“Fuck!” I shout before slapping my hands across my mouth. There’s a woman just inside the kitchen who turns around, raising a brow at my exclamation. She doesn’t look anything like Raphael so I’m sure that she’s not his mother but I don’t want to make that assumption just yet.
“I’m sorry. He’s never brought anyone here before. I usually come in the mornings after he’s already left but he mentioned that I could stop through earlier today. I’m sorry to have startled you.” She sends me a sweet smile before gathering a few items and slipping past me toward the door. The scent of lemon and rose settle in the kitchen and I’m not sure how I missed it on my way down here.
I’m still standing in that spot several seconds later when the front door opens and closes. Of course, he has a maid. Then again, so would I with a place this big and a job that important. I’d be tired as I came home every night, unable to expend the energy needed to keep this place clean. Setting aside my insecurity, I head toward the fridge in search of food—my original mission. Several prepared meals in glass containers stare back at me and I realize that maybe all the money in the world really can’t replace everything.
Raphael has been saying that the money doesn’t matter but he wasn’t trying to cheapen me. He was trying to tell me that money can’t replace love. This may feel like a home to me because it’s more than I’ve ever had but seeing the fridge devoid of home-cooked meals or a personal touch to the layout shows me that my childhood home had more heart than this one does.
Feeling the need to change that, I pull out several ingredients to prepare a breakfast Raphael can be proud of. I want to give him the taste of home that I still remember and hopefully, it can put a smile on his face. His fridge has all of the fixings to make a perfect spread and since my shift starts a little later today, I don’t have to worry about rushing to work.
I dance my way across the tiled floor, humming to myself as I whip up an omelet, bacon, and waffles—that were already prepared because I’m not that good.
“What are you doing?”
I startle and look up to see Raphael leaning against the archway, shirtless, groggy, and yet somehow still agitated that I’m in his kitchen. “Um… cooking? Breakfast. Yes, I’m making breakfast.” I wave the spatula to show off my creation, grimacing at the mess I’ve made. My mother always said I’d be a force to reckon with and not in a good way.
His brows raise as he steps forward, his arms dropping down to his sides to show off a side of him that I rarely get to see. In the heated moments that I've shared with Raphael, we’re rarely fully naked which means I’ve never seen this glorious silver fox without a shirt. My mouth waters at the sight because like me he’s not sporting a six-pack, muscled arms, and an overpowered aura. Everyone calls him Daddy Pierce but they have no idea the deliciousness beneath his clothing.
I can’t help but reach across the counter and touch, mumbling incoherently as my fingers splay over his soft stomach. A little trail of silver hair starts just below his belly and disappears into his pants. He’s gorgeous.
“I am?”
My body stills as my gaze rises back to his. “What?”
