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It’s usually nothing but we took a very big step yesterday and will be taking an even bigger step tonight.
“Nothing. Everything? There’s going to be a lot of people there, Raphael. I don’t do people. I don’t even have a suit and I just…” Atlas cuts himself off, his breathing quickening slightly. His fingers dig into my waist as his head falls to my chest. “I’m not sure what I’m doing.”
I take the chance to run my fingers through his curls, the movement calming both of us as Atlas melts farther into my hold. “I don’t want to cheapen this, little one. So, I need you to answer my questions. Honestly.” Atlas hesitates and then nods so I continue. “Do you have a suit?”
“No,” he mumbles. He doesn’t move but he doesn’t seem ashamed, just overwhelmed.
“And if I gave you one to wear?”
“So I don’t embarrass you?”
He’s so frustrating sometimes. I shake my head as I tighten my grip in his hair and pull his head back just enough so that he can see my expression. “Because it’s the dress code, little one.”
“Oh.”
“Besides, we aren’t going together. I was going to call a car and have it bring you to the venue. As much as I want to show you off, doing so at such a big event might not be the way to start.” I step away from him, feeling bereft of his warmth but knowing that staying with Atlas pressed against me is going to start something we don’t have time for. I reach for the suit hung up on the wall beside mine, wondering what Atlas will think. I prepared it this morning when he said he wanted to go—rather, I asked Karla if she could order a suit here in his size.
Atlas stares at the black covering as I lay it on the edge of the couch. “You don’t want to go with me because you’re embarrassed of me? The same car, I mean.”
“Why are you stuck on that? Atlas, look at me. You’ve mentioned that a few times now. I am not embarrassed of you but you made it very clear you didn’t want to be a trophy and that’s what they’ll make you into. A publicity stunt and you are so much more than that.” Atlas starts chewing on his bottom lip and I fight the urge to pull it out. “Let’s get you dressed and then I’ll call up a car. Or you can take the bus if that makes you feel more comfortable.”
His nose scrunches up as he ponders that and I can see that all these decisions are just making him more anxious and a little more frustrated. “I don’t want to take your suit on the bus.”
“It’s your suit, Atlas.” I see where my words go wrong the moment they leave my lips. “This isn’t about what you told me earlier, Atlas. If we’re dating, there will be numerous boring events to attend. It’ll always be your choice whether or not you do but this is one of those things. I bought it because you’ll need it. Not because I’m trying to do something you can’t. On short notice, I used connections that are beneficial and I won’t apologize for that.” It’s as if that explanation is everything he needs, Atlas gathering up the black covering against his chest.
“I’m sorry. I just… Money makes things easy and I don’t want to get used to it.”
“And I respect that. Go get changed. I know they say ‘fashionably late’ but I’d prefer not to be.” I throw him a warm smile, wondering what he’ll do with those words. Atlas is nothing if not unpredictable at times. His brown eyes flash with excitement, a complete 180 from the panic he was just dealing with.
“Raphael-”
“Stop being difficult and go change, little one.” Using his pet name shows him that I’m not angry and gives him the choice of whether to end this blossoming moment or continue it. As much as we should probably be on our way to the venue, I’d rather be right here with Atlas, spending time with the man I’ve fallen for.
A wild grin splits across his face and I can’t help myself, walking toward him so that he steps back and falls to his ass on the couch. I lean over him, placing both hands on the back of the couch so that there’s no way to escape from me. He lies back against the cushions, head tilted up so that his gaze meets mine and I nearly fall prey to those full lips and the pink tongue that darts out to lick them. “If people weren’t waiting on me, I would take you apart for being difficult. Knowing that you’re doing it on purpose makes me want to spank that bratty ass of yours into submission.”
I bite my tongue before this goes further. We’ve never taken a step in that direction. I’m not a dom and I don’t enjoy truly dominating my partner unless there’s a playful aspect to it. Being able to be a little rough and making my partners fall apart time and time again is what I love. What I crave. The pushback that Atlas constantly gives me is everything.
“I apologize, Atlas. That was too much.” I heave a sigh but he shakes his head.
Atlas places a hand on my chest before his fingers curl into the lapels of my suit jacket. “Not too much,” he whispers. Oh. So, he’s interested in walking down that road? Good to know.
I press a light kiss to those moistened lips. “I love you, Atlas. I know we’ve been skirting around those words for a while but I want you to hear them, loud and clear, from me.” Those brown eyes widen again as his fingers tighten, the other one reaching up around the back of my neck and playing with the hair there. “What are you doing, little one?”
“I love you too. So much. I thought maybe this was ending, that you didn’t want to show me off but I was so wrong. I love you, Raphael.” This time, Atlas kisses me and it’s not the sweet, passionate one I’d expect from him. It’s hungry and needy, Atlas drawing me into him. If I don’t stop him, I very well might carry him to the bed in the adjacent room and we won’t be attending any event tonight. Atlas pulls away first and scampers toward the bathroom, leaving me to adjust myself so I don’t embarrass the both of us when we leave this room.
Chapter 12
ATLAS
Tracey has to remind me to close my mouth several times as I walk through the venue. She didn’t miss Raphael walking beside me up to the front door or the kiss he stole seconds before disappearing inside. She has squealed for the past fifteen minutes about it, only shutting up when Gerald and Paula joined our little circle. The moment they decided to scrounge for ‘available bodies’—their words, not mine—Tracey resumed her squealing.
“So, tell me everything. Or not. I’m just so excited for you!” She wraps her arms around me and I don’t immediately hate her enthusiasm. We’ve never been all that close, despite attending the same university but she’s been a general comfort at the café. I take in her elegant lavender gown that has her easily fitting in with the crowd. My suit does the same and I finger one of the lapels, biting back a smile that I’m in Raphael’s clothing. It’s a gift, not a handout and while it’ll be strange trying to differentiate that, I like that he cared enough to explain. “Uh-huh, I know that smile. Spill.”
The need for a friend right now is the only reason I’m considering telling Tracey. That and the fact that it doesn’t need to be a secret. Tracey and Heather were around during my last relationship. They saw me fall apart emotionally and I refused to let them help. Messing up general coffee orders only grazed the tip of things that went wrong during the following weeks without Manny in my life.
“You don’t have to tell me but Atlas, he’s good for you. Weird because he’s like the top boss, sure but you need a little happiness after that piece of shit.” I don’t understand her change of heart, Tracey letting out a deep sigh. “Look, I thought this was another one of those things that would fizzle out and leave you… like the last relationship. I was wrong and I shouldn’t have assumed. This is different. I can feel it.”
I nod as I move toward the table holding all the food. “Yeah, I really like him and he’s nice.” That sounds so lame but how else am I supposed to describe him. Intense? Overwhelming? Everything I fucking need? “He… understands me,” is all I can think of to add.
