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“Take care of that boy,” Karla yells from her seat. Her desk is tucked around a glass wall but that doesn’t stop her from finding her way into my business. I love her just as much as my own mother. Karla stands and walks over to me, a shorter, older version of June but no less beautiful. Her and Heather keep me on my toes most days and I’ve no doubt they probably relay what goes on here back to my mother.
“He doesn’t give me much to work with, Karla.”
“Is that because you’ve asked specifically or that you just assume he’ll spill his guts to you?” Karla chuckles as she fixes the lapels of my jacket and then pats my chest. “You’re in that honeymoon stage and I love that for you but it’s going to fizzle out if you don’t truly help him understand that you want more from him.”
I nod. “I sent him a text-”
Karla bursts out laughing and in any other situation, I would have loved the hearty sound that echoes through the hall. “Raphael, you are a smart man but you can be so dumb sometimes. Texting is for inconsequential things not for serious conversations about how to take the next step in your relationship.”
“So… just talk, right?” I’m failing at this, mostly because I’ve never had to talk before. Placing my card on the table after I finished fucking someone was enough to keep them at my side. Only when I realized they were only here for my card did I let them know this wasn’t going to work out. The lonelier moments of my life were filled with one-night stands and men whom I gave my time but not my heart.
Again, Karla laughs at me, shaking her head. I feel like I’m still in high school when she or the other mother figures in my life laugh at my misunderstanding. “Raphael, you can’t just talk to him. Have you seen Atlas? He needs more than your words. Be true to yourself but don’t overlook what he needs.”
The memory of first seeing Atlas finds its way into my head, my lover kicking his feet as he sat at one of the picnic tables while running through a series of facts that seemed both useless and interesting at the same time. Watching the joy on his face spread as he continued down his list was adorable, those doe eyes widening as his fingers ran across the page to keep up with his words. That wasn’t our first meeting, but it was the first one where he spoke to me.
And the one where I somehow learned that his last relationship was a disaster.
It was also our first kiss, a day and time I’ll never forget.
This means that I have to do more than just discuss our relationship. We’ve never been on a date. Our schedules never quite line up. However, Atlas promised me tomorrow. Maybe dinner and flowers? Neither of those scream Atlas. Maybe tonight I’ll bring him home for a meal. A frown takes over my face. No, that’s too forward. Atlas would never agree to that and I’d feel like I had trapped him in my home rather than bringing him on a date.
Karla slaps my chest to bring me back to the moment. “Stop thinking so hard, son. Your money won’t work here. Not for someone like Atlas. There’s a beautiful wharf at the edge of the city. Take him on a walk. Just ask and let him answer.”
Easier said than done.
Chapter 7
ATLAS
A full day of work and classes makes Atlas a very dull boy. I laugh at my pitiful joke despite the test that I aced. The day has only gone from worse to hellish when I find out that my car won’t start. Again. With only a few minutes of charge left on my laptop, there’s nothing else to do than crawl into the back and sleep. The last bus left an hour ago and the few dollars I have in my back pocket need to be saved for food. Otherwise, I’d call an Uber to take me to the shelter.
Even then, there’s no guarantee that there’s any room.
My phone buzzes as I grab my blanket and crawl into the backseat to set up a makeshift bed. As short as I am, I can curl up pretty nicely.
Hey, sweetheart. I just wanted to wish you a good night.
A smile overtakes my face at Raphael’s sweetness as I text him back.
Thank you. You too.
I hope I’m not overstepping but Heather let slip that you haven’t been eating.
Are you alright? Are you sick? Do you need help?
Tears gather at the corners of my eyes as I curl up tighter beneath my blanket. I know Heather didn’t mean to say anything and seeing Raphael’s reaction gives me hope.
I’m okay. Can we talk tomorrow? I’m really tired.
Three dots wiggle on the screen for several seconds and I hope I’m not about to read a sermon. The dots stop and then wiggle some more before it’s just:
Goodnight, little one.
Raphael wants to say more. I know he does but I love the hell out of him for giving me the space I need. Until tomorrow.
Sleep consumes me until a clanking on my window soon drags me out of my slumber. I shoot up, panicked, clutching the blanket to my chest to find the sound when it’s paired with a flashlight shining inside the car. Scrambling to open the back door, I peer out to see one of the building’s guards standing there. He’s much older than most of them—Lance, if I remember correctly—but very sweet and I sneak him a coffee now and then when he comes into the café.
“Ye-es?” I whisper.
