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“Nope. I only need you to come here.”
He hesitates for just a second before approaching me, and my world transforms into sunshine again as I lean into him. His arms fold around me, washing away the drama of the last few days. The familiar smell of forests and subtle citrus filters into my lungs and sends an electric charge through my veins. Combined with the firm, warm pressure of his body, the feel of his lips on my hair—everything about this wrong moment seems right.
“I’ve missed you,” I murmur.
“I’ve missed you too.” His voice is somehow gravelly and soft at the same time. Sexy and sweet, like everything else about him.
There’s no doubt in my mind I’m in love with this person. Fully, irrevocably in love with him and nothing will ever?—
“I don’t think you should break up with Jarvis.”
Stop. The. Track.
“I’m sorry?” I pull back to see his face.
He won’t meet my gaze, which can’t be a good sign.
“I’ve been thinking about the whole thing nonstop, and I don’t think you should give everything up for me. I don’t want you to.”
“Val…”
“No, I’m serious.” His beautiful eyes carve a hole in my stomach when they drift to mine.
“I am too,” I say. “I told you I don’t care about the fallout. We’ll figure it out. We’ll?—”
“And what if I’m not ready for it? What if I don’t want to lose everything?”
I flinch and stare at him in disbelief. “Are you serious? Y-you…” Shaking my head, I step back to put more distance between us.
“You’re used to having everything, Larinda. I just got something for the first time. Maybe I’m not ready to lose it so soon.”
Tears press on the backs of my eyes, and I force them away. I don’t cry in front of people (except when instructed, of course). Another talent I’ve perfected over the years.
He looks like he’s in physical pain as he shoves his hands in his back pockets and averts his gaze. Where is this coming from?
“Val, please. What’s going on? I know you don’t want that. I can see it all over your face.”
I reach out and grip his sleeve, tugging when he closes his eyes.
“Talk to me. We’ve never kept things from each other. Whatever it is, we’ll figure it out like we always do.”
He shakes his head and opens his eyes again. “When everything blows up—and it will—you have a huge support system and an entire network of backup opportunities. You know what I have? A chair at my sister’s kitchen table in our tiny, cluttered apartment. I have nothing without this. Don’t you see? As soon as you’re done with me, I’m done.”
When I’m done with him?
I drop my hold, paralyzed by conflicting emotions. I want to smack him and hug him at the same time. He thinks so little of me? Of himself?
He pulls his ball cap off to adjust his hair before sliding it back on. It’s a gesture I’ve seen him do a thousand times, one of his many nervous tics. He also taps the desk with his left hand when he has an idea he’s struggling to manifest and twists his chair in small arcs whenever he gets overly frustrated. I also know his green eyes are deadly when he wears that hoodie with the phoenix on it, he loves tomatoes but hates ketchup, orders couscous anytime it’s on the menu, and has never said an unkind word about another person, even those who have hurt him.
I know everything there is to know about this person, and I know I could never ever be done with him.
“Anyway, I should go,” he mumbles. “Good luck tonight. You’re killing it. Your show is incredible.”
He starts away, and I grasp his wrist.
Our eyes meet, my skin burning at the point of contact. I’ve never wanted to kiss someone so much in my life. How could he think for a second I’d want anyone other than him?
“You have a right to an opinion on this as well, but you’re wrong if you think this is a choice between you and Jarvis. This is a choice between you and no one. You can sacrifice yourself, or whatever this is, but it won’t change my position on the engagement. I’m not going to pretend forever. I will be breaking it off with Jarvis as soon as I figure out how.”
