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“In her room? No way. I’m not invading her privacy.”
Paige pops her head through the open door. “Normally, I’d totally agree with you, but she gave us permission to be here and this is extenuating circumstances.”
I glance at Nash, who shrugs. “You know your sister. If she’s willing to break a rule, it must really need to be broken.”
That comment earns a glare from his girlfriend, but he’s not wrong.
None of that prevents it from feeling wrong as I drag my feet toward Larinda’s bedroom. There better be a global crisis that needs our league of useless superheroes to justify this invasion. When Paige waves me toward a notebook on her bed, I spin back to the door.
“Nope.”
“Just look at it,” she says.
“Not a chance. There’s no way I’m reading her private thoughts.”
“They’re to you.”
I freeze and turn back slowly. “What? They’re about me?”
“Not about you. To you. It’s a letter. Think about it. She sent us to her bus. She had to know you might see it. Even if she didn’t, she clearly intends to give this to you soon.”
I’m totally confused, but my feet must not be as they move me toward the sacred object on the bed. My heart pounds as I scan the beautiful handwriting I’ve come to adore. God, I’d even miss her handwriting if we parted ways.
The entire right page is covered in text, and I can tell it continues on. This note is either really, really good or really, really bad. I’m still not sure if I should read this, but there’s no way I can’t now.
Val,
I don’t know where to begin. I wanted to say this in person but I was afraid it wouldn’t come out right and I’d forget something. You’re very distracting. Did you know that? It’s your eyes or something. They’re too pretty. Your smile too. Also your hair. See? It even happens on paper.
Anyway, I’ve been thinking about what you said today in the green room. It gutted me, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized none of it made sense. You don’t care about money or fame or any of that stuff. None of your reasoning was consistent with everything I know and love about you.
That’s right. I said it. The things I LOVE about you. So many things, because I am so completely in love with you and I think it’s been developing for a very long time. I won’t even say you’re everything I’ve always wanted, because I never dreamed there could be someone like you. You’re kind and genuine and so incredibly talented. You make me laugh and see me better than I see myself in a lot of ways. I love who I am and who I’m becoming with you. You make me brave enough to be myself instead of who I’m supposed to be. I don’t just want you, I need you, and if it ruins my career, so what? You’re my muse. You’re the piece that was missing in my music, so there’s no point in continuing without you. Now that I know what our music can be together, I can’t go back to letting it be less. What’s more, I can’t go back to accepting less for myself and my heart.
I love you, Perceval Andrews. I want to be with you and I will do whatever I have to do to convince you of that. I don’t know why you tried to break things off between us, but I know it wasn’t for a selfish reason. You don’t have a selfish bone in your body. If I had to guess, it’s because you’re trying to protect me from something. You can tell me what that is, or don’t, but it makes no difference. I’m ending things with Jarvis once and for all, regardless of the consequences. If you don’t feel the same, I won’t tell the world who my heart really belongs to, but that won’t stop it from being yours.
I will always love you.
I will always fight for you.
And I’m willing to wait.
Yours always,
Larinda
16—LITTLE ROCK (STAGE LEFT)
LARINDA
“If you give me a reason to stay, I’ll give you two to walk away…”
Colored lights streak through the air and pepper the stage surface beneath me as the music blasts through my in-ear monitors. My heart is racing, adrenaline pumping like it always does when I step in front of thousands (sometimes millions) of people. It’s a high I’ll never get used to. Nor do I want to. There’s something magical about transcending reality to the place where the music lives, where performance lifts me from a woman with a gift to a goddess in her paradise. It’s not about the adoration, though. It’s about that one brief moment of seeing myself for who I really am, the part that only reveals itself when someone is fully connected with what they love.
“I’m not here to have fun
I’m here to be the one
That got away
